| General Script posted December 2, 2024 |
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a script
Pons Meets Scar
by Bill Schott
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Characters:
Ned Nuckledd = barbershop comb cleaner
Pons Maninoff = Ned's cousin
Hed O'diclas = parttime cloner
Scar = Pons' clone
The scene opens with Ned and Pons entering the old TCBY store which has a cardboard sign on the wall saying [Send in the Clones].
Pons: So, here we are again, Ned.
Ned: Yup. There ain't nothin' what makes better senses than gittin' you a clown ta go along wit my'n.
Hed: (stepping out to meet the boys) No takebacks, boys.
Ned: Nah, we like GED okay. We come ta do a ditto on Pons here.
Pons: This could become a habit.
Ned: Yup. Y'know, my clown, he's a mite smarter'n me.
Hed: That is clone, Ned. Yes, I imagine there are a few others who may be smarter than you -- (pointing) this ficus plant for one.
Pons: I don't think I like your implication, Hed.
Ned: It's okay, Cuz. There's prob'ly a ointment he kin rub on it.
Hed: Perhaps you wish to have your clone prepared elsewhere?
Pons: There is no other place.
Ned: What 'bout that Clowns R Us we come to last week?
Hed: That is me, Ned. You were here. It is now known as Send in the Clowns - I mean - clones.
Pons: Maybe I should get my own cloning license and do the job myself.
Ned: GED's purdy smart. Git him a license too.
Hed: I am the only one who is licensed to make clones, people.
Pons: Then let's make a clone and you can keep your smart mouth to yourself.
Ned: I am aginnin' ta think he gave GED a smart mouth.
Hed: Am I making a clone today or should I revert this space to a hat store.
Pons: Let's get a clone out of you, then do whatever you want.
Ned: So, that's a really smart plant o'er there, huh?
Hed: Why don't you sit and have a conversation with it while I clone your cousin.
Pons: Finally.
Pons and Hed retreat upstage into the darkness where strange lights glow and the sound of baby birds chirping for worms is mixed with dissonant piano chords.
Ned: (to the ficus) Kinda scary, huh?
Hed: (coming into the light) Voila!
Pons: I feel a bit weak.
Ned: Did ya git patted down fer change?
Scar: He did, but I rolled the kid and took back all of Pons' money and whatever tubby already had.
Pons: So, are we calling you GED too?
Ned: Hows 'bout GED-GED
Pons: I say he's okay -- so-- OK, which phonetically is Oscar Kilo
Ned: Oscar? How 'bout Scar?
Hed: How about my payment?
Scar: Scar sounds alright to me. Hey, Hed. How about you open a tab and we'll run a bunch of "clonables" through here and keep you in business.
Hed: I am highly opposed to that offer.
Pons: Well. truth is, my great grandfather did not leave me any cloning money. I will have to pay this off piecemeal.
Hed: Why was this not disclosed earlier?
Pons: I think it falls somewhere between Oops! and maybe I'll change my mind at the last minute.
Hed: So I get the burden of creation witout compensation.
Scar: Well, I get the burden of creation witout notification.
Ned: I ain't got no bird ends.
To be continued...
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© Copyright 2024. Bill Schott All rights reserved.
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