Clipping Coupons

My worst fear? That's easy. I am living it now.  Those that know me well already know most of my past problems with bad health and bad marriages.

To summarize, I was born with health issues. And I was born smarty smart smart.  The lord giveth and taketh away, and the like. I was raised by my Mom and Dad to keep my light firmly under my bushel. I was to speak about it to no one. 

My sisters have no recollection of how sick I had been or how smart I am to this day. Mom said if folks knew how smart I was they would want to use me, and I would have no life. Dad said the bible says not to brag or put ourselves forward.  So, until I turned 65 no one except my last husband knew all my story.

After my parents, aunts and uncles, died. The gloves came off. I told people I had been through a ton of sickness and hospital stays, and I am in pain 24/7. I quit taking Rx pain medicines. All those medicines do is dumb and numb you down. They cure nothing. And they eat up your life. I don't remember much of the years 2010-2021. I started paring down the meds. And then quit. 

It was a couple of months of pure torture. My husband who smoked marajuana was supposed to make me some capsules because I can't smoke it. He has made them before. They really help with the pain. So, I quit the meds, and asked for the capsules, he said he could not afford to buy them. He still had enough for himself though.

I found out he was spending our money on cam girls. I had three months of being a wet stain on the bed. My mind may not have been addicted to the stuff, but my body was yelling its head off. I couldn't read. I could only watch television. Not a good start.

So, then I found out our house was going up for auction, he had spent my savings, and looted my carefully stored collections to sell. And he left boxes open, to mildew and get bugs. And that hurt even more than the house. I had been collecting for decades. This was my golden parachute. I was going to supplement my social security by selling off a little at a time.

So, basically, when my last operation failed horribly, he decided I no longer existed. I lived in denial until I went off the Rx. Then it all became horribly clear. I started making my plans. 

The sale on our $ 224,000.00 house was $73,000.00. My share was $36,500.00. Since July 2022 I have been  living off of it plus my measly $486.00 social security. You could say I am frugal. I get books each month from Operation paperback. I just got my free caption phone. It is glorious. I now have Snap,(food card). And my medicare is paid for because I am poor.  I have applied for SSI because $486.00 will not pay rent let alone anything else. I also have applied for low cost housing. I can pay one more month's rent and bills. After that? Pride will not pay bills.

My fear is losing a roof over my head.  These are supposed to be my golden years!  Seriously, if anyone knows where else I can apply please speak up. Any programs I might apply for. I am not asking for money, I am asking for information. I figure several of you have been through where I am now and might know things. And remember  I am in America .And live in Texas. So programs that apply to Nevada only, won't work for me. Any, tricks, grants, working from home jobs, etc, tell me about them. Any and all ideas are welcome.  Getting old ain't for sissies. Karen