Darkness or Light
I wake in the morning with a bit of fright, never knowing if it will be darkness or light. I hope for smooth sailing, the winds calm and free, and fear my world if it’s the roller-coaster I see. My fear is real, just out of sight; my brain is like a broken egg I don’t know if it will ever be right.
Like an elephant minus the ears, my mind was so perfectly clear and now I wish for one more day without the fear surrounding me. I wish to see with clear blue eyes the world I once knew, is there anyone out there, can you see my tears?
When I was young the world was mine, I played each day my limit was the sky. My thoughts were never of this day. I was invincible, I was superman, the flash and so much more, and even if I had known, there is nothing more a kid could do.
I look at him and look at her; I wish to God I knew who they were. Some years ago I picked up a camera; I took so many pictures to always remember the days with light. There was so much beauty and so much to see, I hope with fading memories to remember what they once meant to me.
I’ve lived on this silly little planet for so many years. I am a Marine forever as Marines always say. I made so many friends for life, people like me; what a shame I can’t remember a single one of their names. Semper Fi my friends, I will see you again, we will guard the Pearly Gates or so the Marines love to say.
A cop I was for many, many years, I arrested the bad guys, I helped those with fear. I tried to stop the babies from crying, and tried to help those who were dying. I talked them up, I talked them down, what a life I had, and I have no regrets for how it was done. I will never regret what I did in life. If I could do it again I would do it just right. Then I would lie down, close my eyes and watch the days drift by one last time.
At this moment my thoughts are clear, but I feel the door about to hit me in the rear. I have no worry of my wife, her name is Terri, and she has such a big heart, she is such a mighty mite. She is my best friend, and will be with me through thinning light. My sadness is wondering when I see her again; will it be darkness or light, a sailing ship or a roller-coaster lost in the night?
It is a funny little thing, for when I see darkness it reminds me of hell, oh God please don’t make me go there again.
From day to day my world may change, one day I may know you, the next we may become friends. I may cuss up a storm or give you hell, please just remember it is still me within. Please bear with me when we meet, I may not make sense so just smile and pretend to understand what I meant. I may look confused, or like a ship in the night, but really, it is me Jake, I’m still inside this shell, that is me knocking at the door to hell.
With each day the lights may dim and therefore I may never see you again. Say your goodbyes when I know your name; say your goodbyes and tell me we will always be friends.
And if you were to ask me what all this is about, I would tell you it is a silly little game between me and my brain. I have no doubt who is winning right now, but I have to say I kicked his ass around. Maybe someday we will meet, we will laugh and joke like yesteryear, but for now a simple goodbye will have to do, and hope there is another day that I remember you.
