Embracing the Suck

One of the favorite hoodies I wear has "Embrace the Suck" written on it. In fact, I have a couple of T-shirts with the same logo on them. You might say I have taken it as my own personal mantra.

A lot of people see the shirt and think it's something inappropriate. Just last weekend, I had an older lady come up and ask what my shirt meant. I explained when you're in a situation that just plain sucks just smile and get through it, embrace it.

The saying came out after I served in the Army, but I think it's a good way to look at life. There are a lot of bad situations we all face in life that are beyond our control, so we might as well smile and go through them.

Back in my day, the saying was "Drive on." No matter what you faced, you put your head down and drove on. While I was serving, I used what I called the "Pollyanna Method" for dealing with adversity.

"Sgt. Corp, it's been raining for six days and we have to sleep in the mud," I had soldiers say.

"Well, the mud is warm and it's not snowing," was my reply.

Or,

"Sgt. Corp the plane that was supposed to take us back to Hawaii had an engine fall off and now we're stuck here in Korea for another week, this sucks," they'd say.

"Yeah, but we weren't on the plane when the engine fell off," I'd tell them.

Sometimes you might have to dig deep to find something positive, but there was always something good in every bad situation. To me that was embracing the suck. And trust me as an infantryman there was a lot that sucked.

But what's the other option? Quit, I don't think so. When I was growing up, I was allowed to join any sport or club I wanted. But the deal was I had to stick it out for the entire school year, if I didn't want to do it the next year that was fine. Quitting was not an option.

Nowadays, that kind of work ethic doesn't seem to be enforced. I've seen talented kids quit sports, part-time jobs, and other commitments for no good reason. As a teacher, I see it far too often.

When I taught at Bethesda Alternative Education, we had a kid come in January who was a senior. He was a couple of credits shy, but we made a plan to get him to graduation in June. Things went fine until mid-February, then he got senioritis, and he quit coming to school.

We tried everything to get him to come back, but it was no dice; he withdrew from school on March 1, 2020. March 16, Governor Wolf shut down the schools for COVID-19 and said that, at that point, no one would fail the year. Guess who was out of luck, that senior didn't embrace the suck.

In some cases, it's not really quitting as much as it is failing to try. When I was coaching wrestling, I saw kids who, if they weren't making varsity, quit. Somewhere along the line, the message of "do your best" changed to "if I'm not the best, I'm not doing it."

They're not embracing the suck, heck they're not even staying in the same room with the suck. I'm not saying everyone should seek out adversity, but when you are faced with it you should do what you need to do to get through it.

Will it be miserable? Sure, but there's another mantra, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." We're all here for such a short time, and life's challenges can be hard. Sometimes you get whammied, and the hits just keep on coming.

That's when it's time to ruck up and embrace the suck. A rucksack was what we carried our stuff on our backs, and they usually weigh over 75 pounds. And it sucked.

One person I've noticed embracing the suck is Betty Reece. She was diagnosed with Invasive Lobule Carcinoma Stage 2B in August. I've interviewed quite a few cancer patients, and Reece is hands down one of the most upbeat I've ever met. 

For her, family has given her love, support and a reason to embrace the suck. They are so supportive that when she lost her hair due to chemotherapy, her husband and three sons all shaved their heads to show her she wasn't fighting alone.

Quitting isn't an option for Reece; she has three grandbabies she's battling to see grow up. She's embracing the suck for them.

I just got news this week that my roommate from Germany, Randy Stafford, was diagnosed with liver cancer. This is Randy's second bout with the big C he had prostate cancer about five years ago. But he's a trooper and I just know he's going to embrace the suck -- again. 

Whatever your personal mantra is, you need to go through the situation to reach the other side. The other side may not be rainbows and unicorns, but hopefully it's better than what you just went through.

If not, you have some more embracing to do.