| Satire Fiction posted October 24, 2008 |
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Ad placed in Match dot com.
All Applicants Considered.
by zeezeewriter
Contest Winner
The author has placed a warning on this post for language.
Older divorced woman seeks man with pulse.
No job required, as older woman is loaded from previous marriages to men who ran for their lives, leaving gobs of lovely money.
5’ 5” tall, weight–normal, tits–real, ass–tight and small.
Must supply hard-on, a box lunch, and Ketel One Vodka. Older woman does not cook but does enjoy her evening Martinis.
Prefers man without kids, pets, or disease, but, will consider certain diseases if treatable with penicillin.
Man must be able to perform vigorous sex and hold breath for extended periods of time. No sleep-overs allowed. Older woman snores and wears chin brace to hold waddle at bay.
Weekends and holidays must be scheduled in advance; a long waiting time is to be expected.
Please send a copy of recent EKG and picture of equipment at full attention.
Older divorced woman seeks man with pulse.
No job required, as older woman is loaded from previous marriages to men who ran for their lives, leaving gobs of lovely money.
5’ 5” tall, weight–normal, tits–real, ass–tight and small.
Must supply hard-on, a box lunch, and Ketel One Vodka. Older woman does not cook but does enjoy her evening Martinis.
Prefers man without kids, pets, or disease, but, will consider certain diseases if treatable with penicillin.
Man must be able to perform vigorous sex and hold breath for extended periods of time. No sleep-overs allowed. Older woman snores and wears chin brace to hold waddle at bay.
Weekends and holidays must be scheduled in advance; a long waiting time is to be expected.
Please send a copy of recent EKG and picture of equipment at full attention.
No job required, as older woman is loaded from previous marriages to men who ran for their lives, leaving gobs of lovely money.
5’ 5” tall, weight–normal, tits–real, ass–tight and small.
Must supply hard-on, a box lunch, and Ketel One Vodka. Older woman does not cook but does enjoy her evening Martinis.
Prefers man without kids, pets, or disease, but, will consider certain diseases if treatable with penicillin.
Man must be able to perform vigorous sex and hold breath for extended periods of time. No sleep-overs allowed. Older woman snores and wears chin brace to hold waddle at bay.
Weekends and holidays must be scheduled in advance; a long waiting time is to be expected.
Please send a copy of recent EKG and picture of equipment at full attention.
Contest Winner |
 Recognized |
|
This is a contest entry and not to be taken literally unless you think you qualify.
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. 
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