By the time the train pulled away, Lisa was able to shed a few genuine tears, not as her mother was delighted to believe because Lisa was going to miss her, but because of the guilt she felt. When she looked down at the envelope in her hands, it immediately reminded her of Carla's letter-- which filled her with incredible sadness.
 
     She sat in her seat and stared at the letter, unable to open it, tears rolling down her cheeks. She dreaded to think what Nick had written. He must think she was totally heartless for never having phoned him after she ran away, and she couldn't even bear to think about it. 
 
    One of the girls mistook her misery for childish tears because she’d had to leave her family. She touched her arm reassuringly.
 
     “Don't worry, it'll be half term in six weeks- the time will fly once you settle in,” she said cheerfully. 
 
Lisa looked up at the pretty faced girl who was talking to her who then introduced herself.
 
     “I'm Amy, who are you?”
 
Lisa wiped away her tears, feeling like a complete prat.
 
     “Lisa Collins-- and it's not what you think,” she added somewhat defensively.
 
Amy raised her eyebrows. “What isn't?”
 
Lisa felt like a total idiot, and she thought Amy must think she was too.
 
     “The reason I'm crying.”
 
Amy burst out laughing. If nothing else, the new girl had a novel way of introducing herself.
 
     “Well, I'm glad we've got a mind reader on board,” she teased. “If it's not your family you're going to miss, then who is it?”
 
Lisa stared back at her and thought of Alan waiting for her call.
 
     “My boyfriend…”
 
Amy had noticed the unopened letter on the table.
 
     “You not going to open that?” she asked, assuming that it was something to do with the aforementioned boyfriend.
 
Lisa shook her head and picked the letter up, staring at it as though it held a secret.
 
     “No, I can't…” she answered, feeling the guilty tears start again.
 
Amy couldn't understand anyone not wanting to open a letter.
 
     “Is it from your boyfriend?” she asked, trying to look sympathetic.
 
Lisa shook her head and looked back at Amy, wishing that she'd never seen the letter.
 
     “Ex-boyfriend-- we split up a couple of weeks ago,” she answered with a tight smile, hoping that Amy would drop the subject. She didn't. In fact, it seemed to make her more interested.
 
     “Did he dump you or did you dump him?” she asked, wanting to know more.
 
Lisa thought for a moment, remembering how she hadn't even phoned Nick to explain.
 
     “I dumped him…”
 
Amy seemed happy with her answer, and looked back at the letter, now assuming that it was a letter from Lisa's ex, begging her to take him back. Amy naively thought it was very romantic. Nobody wrote letters anymore, it was all emails.
 
     “Well, by the time you've been at school for a couple of weeks, you'll be glad of any letters, so I wouldn't give up on him quite yet if I were you...”
 
     Lisa realised that Amy had misunderstood her, and turned to explain, but she was already away catching up with the rest of her friends and the holiday gossip further down the carriage. Lisa put the letter in her bag and resolved to open it later, after she had spoken to Alan.
 
     Lisa spent the rest of the journey alone, listening to the incessant chatter coming from the other girls on the train. Occasionally their conversation was punctured by raucous laughter as some holiday incident or another was shared.
 
     Lisa felt light years older than all of them, and they all seemed so innocently wrapped up in trivia, compared to her. She tried to imagine how they would have coped, given the situations she had experienced in the last few weeks, and hoped there would be a few more like her, who weren't quite so immature. If there weren’t, she decided that she was going to get the next train back to London.
 
     When they arrived at Homewood station, they were met by a coach which was on hand to meet most of the incoming trains that afternoon.
 
     “Does everyone come back by train?” Lisa asked Amy as they climbed on board, having left their cases by the luggage hold at the side of the bus.
 
     “No, lots of girls are driven back by their parents, but then you've got the problem of getting rid of them. Some parents just don’t seem to know when to leave, and you're stuck with them fussing over you until supper time. I haven't let mine bring me back since third year, it's far too embarrassing.”
 
     Lisa laughed. Amy seemed really nice, and incredibly pretty. She had long blonde hair, beautiful large blue eyes, and a great figure, shown off by her tight designer jeans. Lisa hoped they were going to be in the same year. She turned to her and asked if she was in upper sixth. She was, and Lisa was relieved. At least she would know one friendly face.
 
    “Do you like it there?” Lisa asked, wanting to know more about the school.
 
Amy plonked herself down on the seat beside her.
 
     “Sure, it's got to be better than being at home. I reckon I have more freedom at the school than I do there, anyway my parents are abroad a lot, so it suits everyone.”
 
Lisa was beginning to like the sound of it more and more.
 
     “How do they feel about boyfriends?”
 
Amy stared back at her, glad she had cheered up a bit since they'd first met on the train.
 
     “Who, my parents?  Oh, they're fine about them.”
 
Lisa burst out laughing. Somehow, instinctively, she could tell they were going to get on.
 
     “No, not your parents - the school, are there any rules and regulations about boyfriends?”
 
Amy knew exactly what she meant, but was enjoying winding Lisa up.
 
     “Oh they're okay, as long as you're not caught having it off in your bedroom.”
 
Lisa was impressed with Amy's sense of humour.
 
      “So you're allowed to have it off anywhere, except for your bedroom then?” she replied sarcastically.
 
Amy started to say “no” before she realised it was her turn to be wound up.
 
     “Yeah, yeah, very smart, I can tell you're a fast learner!”
 
     Amy was beginning to like this new girl. She had thought she was a bit pathetic when she found her snivelling at first, but she seemed to be quite cool and "older" in a funny kind of way. She was very attractive, and the complete opposite to Amy in colouring, with long dark hair and big hazel green eyes. Otherwise they were very similar in height and build, although Lisa had a slightly bigger bust. Yeah, Lisa would be very handy for wardrobe swapping when it was required. Anyway it was nice to have a fresh face in upper six because most of them had been at the school together for years. It was a nice change not knowing everything about someone.
 
     When the bus pulled up in front of the school, Lisa was very impressed. The red sandstone building had obviously been built as a large country house, and any later additions to the property appeared to be concealed behind the original façade. The ivy growing over the greater part of the main house gave it a magical English country look, and the tall Georgian paned windows with their arched tops made it look supremely elegant.
 
     Once inside, the institution took over, but not before you had passed through the elegant hallway boasting a domed ceiling and magnificent plasterwork. The library on the left side of the entrance hall was filled with thousands of books and exuded an air of scholarly respectability.
 
      Amy kindly helped Lisa with her bags through to the upper sixth wing. Although it was a new building, it had been thought out with every teenage comfort in mind. Every room had a computer, built in hair dryer and, Lisa was delighted to have confirmed, a telephone. Lisa realised her last school was fairly primeval by comparison because it had been all dormitories and discipline.
 
     It was four-thirty, and Lisa was anxious to phone Alan. So, as soon as Amy left, she dialled his number. Yet again she was disappointed. His phone was not even ringing because it had been switched off according to the automated message. Little did she know that it had just run out of power because Alan hadn’t charged it for days.
 
     Lisa started to feel uneasy. Perhaps leaving Carla’s letter had done more harm than she’d thought, and Alan didn't want to talk to her. With that thought she burst into tears again, and cursed herself for being so stupid. If Alan had turned his phone off, it could mean only one thing…
 
 
 
 
     At five-thirty Amy popped into Lisa's room to see how she was getting on, and found her sitting on the bed looking out of the window, her bags still unpacked. When she saw the tears in her eyes and the sad expression on her face, she tried to make a joke to cheer her up.
 
     “What? Are you leaving already?”
 
Lisa smiled at her ruefully. She had tried Alan's phone a dozen times. It was still switched off, and the thought that it was deliberate had plunged her into despair. She shook her head.
 
     “Nope, I've got nowhere else to go” she said despondently, blinking back the tears.
 
Amy unzipped Lisa's suitcase, trying to help.
 
     “Well, I'll give you a hand-- this case isn't going to unpack itself.” She added in an effort to be friendly.
 
Lisa had no choice but to start unpacking with her. As they were putting the clothes away, Amy couldn't help noticing that nearly everything was new, still with the price tags on, and most of it came from Harrods. It was as though Lisa didn't have a past-- even all her toiletries were new and still in their original boxes. Amy was intrigued, and hoped that Lisa would tell her a little about herself while they were unpacking, but she didn't. She was too caught up in the misery she was feeling to talk to anyone.
 
     When they finished putting the last of the clothes away, Amy suggested that she introduce Lisa to a few more girls in the year, especially the ones in the rooms close by. As they went along the corridor every door was open, beds covered in a sea of clothes, floors scattered with bags, assorted trainers and shoes.
Everywhere was in total chaos.
 
     “Good job we don't have room inspection till Monday,” Amy said, as they went into a room three up from Lisa's.
 
This one seemed even more chaotic than the rest. Amy introduced her to Linda, a very large American girl, who must have been larger still at the end of the summer term because Amy was congratulating her on her weight loss during the holidays.
 
     “How much have you lost, Linda? You look fantastic!” Amy announced enthusiastically.
 
Lisa looked at her and wondered what Linda must have looked like before. She was still huge.
 
     “Twenty three pounds,” Linda answered in a low southern drawl, rightly proud of her achievement. “The folks packed me off to a fat farm, I thought I would die-- it was hell.”
 
     Lisa felt really sorry for her, but she shouldn't have, because for all her size, Linda seemed to be very popular, and half the school seemed to be in her room. Amy then introduced her to Veronique, a stunning tall French girl who spoke with a very sexy accent, then Teddy, who had a mass of Afro type hair and round "Lennon" type glasses. The next room they went into was Chloe’s', a sweet looking Geordie, who seemed to be the only one putting her things away.
 
     There were a couple of dozen rooms on Lisa's floor, hers being the first one when you got to the top of the stairs. The corridor was split in two, divided by the common room in the middle. Most of the girls were beginning to spill out of their rooms and had started to congregate there. Amy asked Lisa if she fancied sitting in there for a bit, but she wanted to go back to her room and try Alan’s phone again.
 
     She was wasting her time, because his mobile was still switched off. Lisa's anxiety turned to anger, thinking how unfair Alan was being by switching off his phone. If he was punishing her for reading Carla’s letter, then he could at least let her explain why she had left it out in the first place. He must know that she was trying to ring him, of that she was in no doubt because she had promised she would. She thought back to the look on his face when Karen had pulled out Richard's business card, and convinced herself that the damage had been done then. She was starting to think that he must have just been hanging on, waiting for her to go to the school, so he could meet Carla when she got back. With that thought, she started crying again, thinking that he must be one of the most heartless human beings on the planet.
 
      But if that was the case, then why had he insisted on her buying a return ticket? It just didn't make any sense. She decided not to try him again until ten o'clock at the earliest. If he had just forgotten to turn on his phone, and he realised that at some point in the evening, she would make him sweat a bit and wait for her call.
 
     After supper, which was held in the huge ‘Adams’ dining room, painted in cream, pale green and gold, Amy, who seemed to have taken on the role of personal guide, introduced Lisa to a few more people in the common room. Although alcohol was technically banned, most of the girls in Lisa's year, especially the ones from abroad, had brought some back, and it was now being generously shared out in assorted mugs.
 
     “What happens if we're caught?” Lisa asked, accepting a mug of white wine from Veronique.
 
     “Oh they don't seem to mind on the first night, but God help you if you're caught after that, that’s why most of us get slaughtered tonight-- Merde! You should see some of the faces at the first assembly.”
 
Lisa laughed, thinking how cute Veronique's accent was.
 
     “What do you do with the empty bottles?” She asked.
 
     “Oh that's not a problem, we put the empty bottles in the prop cupboard”
 
The wine was obviously getting to Lisa because she started laughing outright at Veronique's accent. Amy looked over at the new girl and was relieved to see her lightening up a little. She took advantage of Lisa's better humour to try and find out more about her.
 
     “Hey, Lisa, why don't you tell everyone a bit about yourself?”
 
Lisa looked back at Amy and felt cornered. The last thing she wanted to do was tell anyone there what a dysfunctional family she’d come from. She outlined the details of her family, taking care, as she always did, not to say anything derogatory about her mother. She explained that she was there to take 'A' levels because she couldn't take them at the small school she had been at in the Borders. She didn't mention Alan because she was so upset at him for turning off his phone, and what it might mean.

Being the romantic dreamer, Teddy decided to ask the question they all wanted to know.
 
     “So what about guys, Lisa? I notice you haven't mentioned any.”
 
Lisa looked down at her mug, unsure of what to say. What could she tell them? She was in love with someone who didn't even want to talk to her, and he was engaged to someone else…
 
Seeing that she was struggling Amy stepped in.
 
     “Lisa's dumped her boyfriend but he's still writing to her, isn't he, Lisa?”
 
Lisa nodded, grateful for Amy's explanation. The truth would have been far too complicated…
 
     They all spent the rest of the evening finishing the wine and telling stories about the holidays, and Lisa was glad of the distraction because it kept her mind off Alan and the fact that she should have tried to phone him again. By the time they all called it a day, it was well past ten, and Lisa went back to her room anxious in case, by trying to teach Alan a lesson, she might have overstepped the mark. She went to the phone right away, picked it up, and dialled nine for an outside line. She was putting in his number when she noticed that there was no dialling tone, so she had to start again. It was still dead.
 
     She went along the corridor to Linda's room, having forgotten where everyone else was, and knocked on the door. Linda was just getting into bed and was surprised to see her.
 
     “Hi, what's up?” she asked, seeing that Lisa was still fully dressed.
 
     “Linda, my phone doesn't seem to be working, can I use yours?” Lisa asked, looking desperate.
 
Linda realised that Lisa wouldn't know that the phone lines were switched off at the switchboard at ten, so the other students wouldn't be disturbed. Linda couldn't believe how upset Lisa was when she told her. She looked like she was going to burst into tears.
 
     “Does anyone have a mobile?” Lisa pleaded, as though her life depended on it.
 
Linda shook her head.
 
     “Sorry, honey, they're banned. That’s why we have phones in our rooms. I know a couple of kids sneak them in, but it's not worth it, they're confiscated if they're found, and you don't get them back until the end of term. As I said-- you'll just have to wait until the morning.”
 
     Lisa thanked her and went back to her room, regretting her earlier decision to teach Alan a lesson.  What if he had been waiting all evening for her to call? She couldn't bear to imagine what he must be thinking.
 
    Lisa lay on her bed and, conscious of the thinness of the walls, wept silently until she fell asleep.