A Middle-aged Disability Ballad

Feeling sick I scheduled Doc's time,

Hopes hang by a sliver!
A no energy listless mood,
Thought it's just a shiver?

My Health Network Doctor ran checks,
Tests Urine and my blood,
Followed up per orders of course,
My suspicions then flood!

My Kidney Doctor called me next,
Sadden to cause me blues?
I need to see you right away!
Not giving many clues.

Albumin tested high in blood,
What am I now to do?
Fifty-one seven years ago!
Never thought I was through.

Now just reaching my middle age?
My Bads were never Good!
Been partying since ten or so,
With Brothers and the hood,

Add in jobs stealthy chemicals,
A stronger toxic mix,
Time moves slowly there's always more,
But way too late to fix?

On wrong track corrections were made,
Imposed or by exposed,
So many years burnt with that crutch,
Don't matter I'm still hosed!

Those old crutches took more than years!
In the end choice was mine!
Often when you don't think things through,
Looking for stars to shine.

With assistance of a great wife,
A strong Faith helps us through,
Believing Jesus guides our way!
Soul still searching I await you.

Leading me to what's next to do?
While abilities remain,
Prayerfully meditated,
To Glorify Your Name!