Reviews from

Senryu (invasion of space)

Wide open spaces make me feel vulnerable

40 total reviews 
Comment from Carlos' girl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Aah what a perfect poem. Your use of the element if surprise at the end is just surreal. It seems to wrap it up.like a neat package. Lovely poem, well done and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing it.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
    Hi Carlos? Girl,

    Oh thanks so much for your kind words! I appreciate your stellar review :))

    Have a great weekend!
    Senyai
reply by Carlos' girl on 27-Aug-2021
    Youre so welcome.xoxo
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

How did I miss this one. I love the phrase wide-brimmed sky and how it plays into "hat" in the last line. I like the explanation after the poem, but I prefer no explanation, my preference is to work on my own as a reader to come up with a meaning and participate in your creative process rather than have the meaning feed to me. anyway that's beside the point, well crafted short poem!!!!!!!!!

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 26-Aug-2021
    Ahh, I?m with you, Tim. Many times the explanations at the bottom kill it? and perhaps I should have left it off.

    Good to hear from you. I am hoping to get back on FanStory soon as I am busy being a ?Beta Reader? for an author here on FanStory. A really fantastic novel he?s penned that is heading for the publisher.

    Is your novel ?The Aspen Grove? out yet on Amazon? I checked months back and couldn?t find it there yet.

    Take care :))

    Love,
    Senyai
reply by Theodore McDowell on 26-Aug-2021
    Hey Senyai, I'm also reading my good friend Jay Squire's novel and I think it is absolutely wonderful. My novel isn't out yet, but my book of poetry is: Theodore McDowell, Wrestling a Blessing from God
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2021
    Hi Tim,

    Omg! I am reading The Trinings by Jay too! Over half way through. Very original and deep, many layered. Gifted writer, Jay!

    I only have Volume 1 part I & ll ? is there a Volume 2?

    I will buy your book of poetry on Amazon ?.

    Senyai
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is terrific. The feeling of being overwhelmed by the great panoramic expanse beautifully captured with putting on a hat, to keep thoughts from slipping out too far.

I wish you great luck with the Contest Committee. :))

Gloria

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi Gloria,

    Thank you for such a perceptive review. Yes, my brim outlined a little border that kept me from freaking out entirely. LOL

    Hope the wildfires are settling down out your way and the weather is cooperating too.

    Take care and thanks for your great reviews and thoughts. It's always a treat to hear from you.

    Have a great week, Gloria :))
    Senyai
Comment from L. Kalere
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wide brimmed sky...what wonderful imagery and metaphor. Beautiful poem, accompanied by a beautiful photo. I think you should do very well in the contest...best of luck.
Linda

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi Linda,

    Thank you so very much for a most interesting and kind review. I appreciate your time to read and assess my work :))

    Have a great week,
    Senyai
Comment from 8upchef
Excellent
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From something that brings such anxiety, comes something beautiful and thought provoking. The simple act of stepping outside and putting my ball cap on is so much more to you. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi 8upchef,

    Oh thank you so much for a very perceptive review. Much appreciated!

    Have a great week,
    Senyai
Comment from JennStar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked the poem these short form poems are hard for me as a writer and a reader. I generally like the build of emotions that length gives. But when a short poem leaves me wishing for more I know it is good. I also enjoyed the detailed author notes.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi JennStar,

    Oh, what a nice review and thoughts! Thank you for your perception and comments. Yes, short poetry form are harder than I originally thought. They are an exercise in word frugality. LOL

    Have a great week :))
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Excellent
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I've never thought of how that might make someone feel vulnerable but I can totally understand it. It's funny what we use for comfort. You did a great job with this and I wouldn't change a thing. :)

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi ExperiencingLiphe,

    Thanks for your most perceptive review and valuable comments. Much appreciated. Short poetry forms are an exercise in word frugality LOL

    Have a great week :))
    Senyai
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I never knew this existed. Thank you for the education. I enjoyed reading your contest entry. I happen to enjoy the wild open spaces. I live in Texas and one of my favorite days is to look up at the clear blue sky that goes on for miles. Anyway, Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi Barbara,

    I wondered what was wrong with me and looked it up. Kenophobia stared back at me and I was shocked. I experienced this weird feeling while vising the Indian pueblo villages in New Mexico where I could see for miles. On vacation, it was supposed to be a learning experience with the kids and my husband. He thought I was crazy for wanting to hurry back to the car all the time. The scene was beautiful and you could see thunderstorms coming for miles, but I just felt so vulnerable! I was fine in the car LOL

    Thanks for such for a wonderful review and comments.

    Have a great week :))
    Senyai
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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I thank the Lord for not giving me that fear. I grew up in the country, spent most of my adult life in the city, and having recently moved back to my family home, I feel freer than I have in a very long time.

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2021
    Hi Carol,

    Thank you for your beautiful review and kind comments on my short poem. Yes, I couldn't figure out why I felt so vulnerable while out in this beautiful scenic Indian Pueblo village in New Mexico where the land was desert like and flat as a pancake. We could see for miles and could watch thunderstorms brewing on the horizon. But I just wanted to run back to our car. My husband thought I was crazy LOL

    Have a great week, Carol :))
    Senyai
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That is clever! I appreciate your clever differentiation between kenophobia and agoraphobia, as I only knew the latter. I do like the creation of some sense of shelter by means of a hat. Congratulations on your 3rd place finish!

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2021

reply by the author on 23-Aug-2021
    Hi Lyenochka,

    Why thank you for such a wonderful review and perceptive comments!
    I am appreciative of your time to read and assess my poem. Most grateful for your congratulations as well ?

    All the best,
    Have a great week, Lyenochka :))