Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 " Lady Marian"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
18 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Just goes to show, I can't be off site for five minutes and I'm way behind in your new book!! I don't like the way James is using this poor woman to get rich quick. I'm hoping he will have a nasty ending!! I'm going to rush off and read the next part now. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Just goes to show, I can't be off site for five minutes and I'm way behind in your new book!! I don't like the way James is using this poor woman to get rich quick. I'm hoping he will have a nasty ending!! I'm going to rush off and read the next part now. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I think I see part of the evil plot these thugs are hatching: they want to convince Allie that the dead girl on the beach, actually Angel, is her sister Jaz.
Here are my suggestions for revisions:
"What if Marion had been downstairs?"
-->
"What if Marian had been downstairs?"
Cheryl and Charles laughed at Jame's mention of guests.
-->
Cheryl and Charles laughed at James' mention of guests.
planting a passionate Hollywood Style kiss on her lips.
-->
planting a passionate Hollywood style kiss on her lips.
***
I'm still not sure who James is/was, and why he has "sent" Vito to take his place, but I suppose it will eventually come clear.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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I think I see part of the evil plot these thugs are hatching: they want to convince Allie that the dead girl on the beach, actually Angel, is her sister Jaz.
Here are my suggestions for revisions:
"What if Marion had been downstairs?"
-->
"What if Marian had been downstairs?"
Cheryl and Charles laughed at Jame's mention of guests.
-->
Cheryl and Charles laughed at James' mention of guests.
planting a passionate Hollywood Style kiss on her lips.
-->
planting a passionate Hollywood style kiss on her lips.
***
I'm still not sure who James is/was, and why he has "sent" Vito to take his place, but I suppose it will eventually come clear.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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James is a deceased war veteran and as he was dying he told Charles to care for his wife. Vito and Charlie concocted a plan to get rich and live the life of luxury. At the same time, Vito saw a way to get his revenge on Allie.
Smiles, Carol
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Thanks for explaining, Carol. I guess James picked the wrong person to trust: someone like Charles, who would later team up with Vito! I feel sorry for James' widow, and hope she doesn't end up murdered, as another victim of this corrupt pair.
God bless you, my friend.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Susan Newell
You have certainly introduced an interesting character as well as an interesting con game. I'll have to work to keep everyone straight. I'm eager to find out why the starlets are there. Will wait and see.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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You have certainly introduced an interesting character as well as an interesting con game. I'll have to work to keep everyone straight. I'm eager to find out why the starlets are there. Will wait and see.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Part of Vito's revenge and keeping Marion happy includes filming and the starlets are pawns in his game. They are eager to succeed and he is eager to use them to the fullest.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
What a twisted plot you have already concocted! I am enjoying this famously already and you've nearly started. I can't imagine what this will be like when the fireworks start! haha Very cool!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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Carol,
What a twisted plot you have already concocted! I am enjoying this famously already and you've nearly started. I can't imagine what this will be like when the fireworks start! haha Very cool!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2021
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I hope I don't let everyone down and that they continue to love the story as much as I do. This one will involve Allie and Garth and test their relationship I am sure.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from dmt1967
'Offended, Charlie gave Vito an indignant look.' Don't tell the reader what they felt, show them. 'Charlie glared at Vito and jutted his chin out.'
This is another great chapter. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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'Offended, Charlie gave Vito an indignant look.' Don't tell the reader what they felt, show them. 'Charlie glared at Vito and jutted his chin out.'
This is another great chapter. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from karenina
Great writing, as always. You write dialogue like nobody's business! Did I miss something along the way? I'm confused as to just where "James" came into the story! I am relieved Jasmine was not the victim...they seem to know Allie won't be fooled for long so I see some great plot twists coming. Oh, you go back and forth with "Marion" and "Marian"--- an easy fix to pick one spelling and edit. I still need " Cliff's Notes" on James! ( perhaps, like Marian, I have a bit of trouble with my memory!)
Not sure how you're writing with all you're coping with! It must be a release for you!
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Great writing, as always. You write dialogue like nobody's business! Did I miss something along the way? I'm confused as to just where "James" came into the story! I am relieved Jasmine was not the victim...they seem to know Allie won't be fooled for long so I see some great plot twists coming. Oh, you go back and forth with "Marion" and "Marian"--- an easy fix to pick one spelling and edit. I still need " Cliff's Notes" on James! ( perhaps, like Marian, I have a bit of trouble with my memory!)
Not sure how you're writing with all you're coping with! It must be a release for you!
Karenina
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
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Hugs...
K
Comment from Patty Palmer
The story is coming along nicely. I enjoy reading these chapters as much as the last book you wrote. I like watching a new story begin taking shape until the characters become almost real..Great job!
xxoo Patty
p.s. Hope things are going better for you. You're in my prayers!
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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The story is coming along nicely. I enjoy reading these chapters as much as the last book you wrote. I like watching a new story begin taking shape until the characters become almost real..Great job!
xxoo Patty
p.s. Hope things are going better for you. You're in my prayers!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021
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Forgive me please for my poor display of gratitude and appreciation. I truly am grateful for all your time, your review and your thoughtfulness. I'm struggling with life and I apologize for neglecting your efforts. I am weeks behind in responding so I must at least cut and paste a thank you and hope you understand. I am thrilled that you have taken the time to read my story and to enjoy it.
Smiles, hugs and much love for all the support.
Carol
Comment from Wendy G
A fascinating chapter - and I am glad that jasmine is not dead, but she is of course in danger. I was a bit confused about where Lady Marian, and Charles and James came from so checked the reviews for some clues - some of these situations must have occurred in a previous book which I haven't read, but I get the picture a bit more now - and I am looking forward to seeing where this goes. Well done, very imaginative as always.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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A fascinating chapter - and I am glad that jasmine is not dead, but she is of course in danger. I was a bit confused about where Lady Marian, and Charles and James came from so checked the reviews for some clues - some of these situations must have occurred in a previous book which I haven't read, but I get the picture a bit more now - and I am looking forward to seeing where this goes. Well done, very imaginative as always.
Wendy
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
So Angel was the one who went up in flames? She was made up to look like Jasmine in the video sent to Allie so Allie would be under the impression that someone killed her sister. I guess James/Vito had something to do with Jasmine not talking to Allie also. I wonder what Allie did to put Vito behind bars unjustly. Or perhaps Vito had it all wrong?
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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So Angel was the one who went up in flames? She was made up to look like Jasmine in the video sent to Allie so Allie would be under the impression that someone killed her sister. I guess James/Vito had something to do with Jasmine not talking to Allie also. I wonder what Allie did to put Vito behind bars unjustly. Or perhaps Vito had it all wrong?
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh Wow! What a tight web you are weaving. So far, there are no holes in the web for Garth and the detectives to investigate. The plot keeps thickening. I love your artistic ability to create realistic dialogue, that adds so much color to the story. Way to go Carol!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Oh Wow! What a tight web you are weaving. So far, there are no holes in the web for Garth and the detectives to investigate. The plot keeps thickening. I love your artistic ability to create realistic dialogue, that adds so much color to the story. Way to go Carol!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read, enjoy and review my story. It means a great deal to me and I truly appreciate it.
Smiles and hugs, Carol