Reviews from

Winter Sprinkles

A poem

22 total reviews 
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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Melissa, This is a very lovely, beautiful and well worded 15 syllable poem you have penned for the contest. You used great descriptive words, lovely imagery and great presentation! Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023
    Thanks Teri. I had fun putting on my whimsical hat and writing about twinkling snowflakes... so fun. :)

    Melissa
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
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Hi Melissa,
Nice presentation of this poem with the asterisks representing snowflakes. I especially like the picture that goes with the poem so well. And the alliteration of "frosted freckles".
The only suggestion I (might) add would be with "twinkle". I don't see snowflakes twinkling down, but rather tumbling down. So my suggestion would be:
snowflakes
tumble down
around my
upturned face
* * *
* *
* frosted freckles

But it's not necessary. You have a wonderful entry here for the 15 syllable poetry contest, and I wish you "Good Luck"!
Hugs,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023
    Thank you KB... I had the word 'flutter' originally, but liked the idea that snowflakes would twinkle and thought it matched the age and gender of the photo. So appreciate your ideas!! Big hugs!

    Melissa
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Wonderful entry for the 15 Syllable Poem contest .
Good syllables count and connection between lines.
I love the imagery and presentation.

Good luck in the contest.

Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023
    Thanks so much Gypsy. It was fun to write it and insert the snowflakes/asterisks into the presentation. I love the snow and sure hope we get some here before too long. I will be out in it with my faced turned up :)

    Melissa
Comment from poetwatch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Lovely picture with lovely words from the lovely lady, Melissa. :) You captured the essence with the falling snowflakes on a child's face. You moved me with your words. This is a very good entry for the 15 Syllable Word Contest. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023
    Thanks so much Jose. It was fun to write it and insert the snowflakes/asterisks into the presentation. I love the snow and sure hope we get some here before too long. I will be out in it with my faced turned up :)

    Melissa
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Okay, this one I absolutely LOVE!!! If this one doesn't win, I'm quitting FanStory forever!!! It's PERFECT!!! Frosted freckles!!! And that little cutie in the picture is the exactly right cherry on top of the words! AWESOME job, Melissa!! I couldn't love it more! xo

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2023
    Thanks so much Rachelle. It was fun to write it and insert the snowflakes/asterisks into the presentation. I love the snow and sure hope we get some here before too long. I will be out in it with my faced turned up :)

    Melissa
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As well as observing the specific syllable count this little piece majors on the consonance around the recurring k-l-e-s sound, starting in the title and repeated throughout. The combination is redolent of a crisp frosty morning.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
    Good morning, Jim. Thanks! I hope you enjoy your crisp, frosty mornings and get to wear a few 'frosted freckles' this year. :)

    Melissa
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
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Very good effort on this short poem, Melissa. Great use of the asterisks. I can remember sticking my tongue out as a kid, try in catch a snowflake. Should do well in the contest.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
    I had fun with this one, Paul, I wore my whimsical hat when I wrote it ;). Thank you.

    Melissa
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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Wow. It's hard to avoid writing about the snow. This one is very cute. I love it. I love the "upturned nose".

The kid in the photo is so cute, too. At least it's warmer now. I have been skiing every day. The endorphin keeps me happy.

Well done.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2023
    Hello Lisa... thank you so very much! Hope you are able to ski every time you are able to go!! Hugs!

    Melissa
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Very nice image and presentation, Melissa.
-You have used your 15 syllables well with a good topic.
-Effective imagery paints a good word picture of the
child enjoying the snowflakes.
-Great ending, and word play.
-Good luck in the contest and Happy New Year.

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
    Hello Pam. Thank you so much, my friend! Hugs... hope your New Year's Day was wonderful!!

    Melissa
reply by Pam (respa) on 02-Jan-2023
    You are very welcome, Melissa. New Year's Day was good, and hope yours was, too.
Comment from RodG
Excellent
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This poem truly captures the essence of that wonderful photo.
Delightful word choices (e.g.--"twinkle down" and "frosted freckles."
The quiet mood is enhanced by your repeated use of words that begin with or have F in them.
Rod

 Comment Written 01-Jan-2023


reply by the author on 01-Jan-2023
    Hello Rod. Thank you so much! Hope your New Year's Day was wonderful!!

    Melissa
reply by RodG on 01-Jan-2023
    My pleasure.