Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "The Gift"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
21 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Another powerful chapter in the story with the introduction of the twins,
Thanatos and Hypnos. They are intriguing characters who both help and
hinder. Interesting choice of gifts. I don't know if there is any danger to Hermes in gifting a feather, but Theo giving up his immortal horse, now that's a different type of loss. Perhaps, the brothers will return the horse, if Theo completes his task.
One point to consider:
"His arm, unfortunately, was full of blistering pain. The rest of the aches and pains from battle arrived bit by excruciating bit."
It doesn't seem likely he could climb the cliff in this condition. Perhaps Thanatos could provide some healing or Theo could partially heal himself.
""Nope, and that wasn't a hallucination," the "nope" seemed a bit casual. maybe just "No."
Exciting chapter. Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
I'm a bit behind, as you may have noticed. Will catch up soon.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
  |
Hello Rhonda,
Another powerful chapter in the story with the introduction of the twins,
Thanatos and Hypnos. They are intriguing characters who both help and
hinder. Interesting choice of gifts. I don't know if there is any danger to Hermes in gifting a feather, but Theo giving up his immortal horse, now that's a different type of loss. Perhaps, the brothers will return the horse, if Theo completes his task.
One point to consider:
"His arm, unfortunately, was full of blistering pain. The rest of the aches and pains from battle arrived bit by excruciating bit."
It doesn't seem likely he could climb the cliff in this condition. Perhaps Thanatos could provide some healing or Theo could partially heal himself.
""Nope, and that wasn't a hallucination," the "nope" seemed a bit casual. maybe just "No."
Exciting chapter. Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
I'm a bit behind, as you may have noticed. Will catch up soon.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2024
-
Hi Robert,
Thank you so much for your attention to this chapter. I do always appreciate your comments. I was going to ask Pam how you were doing. But, take your time.
Some of the questions you brought up, will be answered soon, even in the last chapter I posted.
I'll check on the points you brought up. I did, initially address the pain in Theo's arm, but then I rewrote a lot of it, and guess the editing took that part out.
Nope did sound a little trite.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from BethShelby
This is excellent. I had a battle with the advanced editor as well but I think it is working again now. Theo has come through his trials well but now he is faced with having go give up is horse. It seems he had no choice. I always enjoy this story.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
|
This is excellent. I had a battle with the advanced editor as well but I think it is working again now. Theo has come through his trials well but now he is faced with having go give up is horse. It seems he had no choice. I always enjoy this story.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
-
Hi Beth,
Thank you for the six stars, my friend!! Thanks for the heads up on the Advanced Editor. I'll try again with the next chapter.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Faith Williams
Great chapter, Rhonda. Love the idea of Theo surrounded by his family's love as he completes the climb: 'Never alone, just by myself.'
The twins' choice of gift from Theo seems a bit more personal and more difficult to give up than that of Hermes. I felt his dilemma in that last paragraph.
In the last sentence in this section, did you mean Theo as opposed to Thanatos?
"They look happy to be out of the battle," Theo said. "I can relate."
"Yes. Forgive our trials."
"It's a Greek thing," Thanatos said. "I get it. I'm just glad I passed."
Can't wait to read more!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
|
Great chapter, Rhonda. Love the idea of Theo surrounded by his family's love as he completes the climb: 'Never alone, just by myself.'
The twins' choice of gift from Theo seems a bit more personal and more difficult to give up than that of Hermes. I felt his dilemma in that last paragraph.
In the last sentence in this section, did you mean Theo as opposed to Thanatos?
"They look happy to be out of the battle," Theo said. "I can relate."
"Yes. Forgive our trials."
"It's a Greek thing," Thanatos said. "I get it. I'm just glad I passed."
Can't wait to read more!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
-
Hi Faith,
I have written 2 other responses to your review, and I'm as thankful now as the other two times. I don't know why they aren't saving, but hope it does this time. If you got the other 2, great, if not, know how much I always appreciate you, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from BOO ghost
I read the book summary. Like the character list which is a delight! Gives me a picture of characters. Well, I may be tardy, but this looks like an interesting story. Let me read some prose to catch up!
Vacillated. Nice choice of an unique word seldom heard! Still... reading. Story and plot flows well. Not seen any misspelled words. Reading...For a moment, Theo allowed worry to flow over him like the coursing of a brook. Descriptive, like!
Reading on...nice combination of dialogue and narrative. Trying to get a grip on the story and characters. I'm a newcomer! I do follow novel writers! Reading on ..They were tall, even according to Theo's standards, with short blonde hair, wizened faces, and dressed in simple tunics. Nice description! Good imagination! Creating a plot and characters. Nicely written! I will try to read the next episode! Hopefully, I not miss much. Let me finish reading...
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
|
I read the book summary. Like the character list which is a delight! Gives me a picture of characters. Well, I may be tardy, but this looks like an interesting story. Let me read some prose to catch up!
Vacillated. Nice choice of an unique word seldom heard! Still... reading. Story and plot flows well. Not seen any misspelled words. Reading...For a moment, Theo allowed worry to flow over him like the coursing of a brook. Descriptive, like!
Reading on...nice combination of dialogue and narrative. Trying to get a grip on the story and characters. I'm a newcomer! I do follow novel writers! Reading on ..They were tall, even according to Theo's standards, with short blonde hair, wizened faces, and dressed in simple tunics. Nice description! Good imagination! Creating a plot and characters. Nicely written! I will try to read the next episode! Hopefully, I not miss much. Let me finish reading...
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
-
Boo!!! Thank you so much for the six stars, my friend!! What a great job of breaking the narrative apart to examine each part. That is so very helpful.
Thank you, as well, for jumping in late in the book, but trying to orientate yourself. Yay, and thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have developed each of your characters' personalities, strengths, fears and gifts to make this more believable. And promises made though they seem to rub against the goad. Well done.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
 |
You have developed each of your characters' personalities, strengths, fears and gifts to make this more believable. And promises made though they seem to rub against the goad. Well done.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
-
Hi Liz,
Thank you so very much for the brilliant review, my friend! You summed it up nicely.
Take care,
Rhonda
-
***Smile***
Comment from prettybluebirds
I hope he doesn't have to give up his beloved horse. This chapter is terrific and filled with action. I will be waiting for the next addition to the story. Excellent writing.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
|
I hope he doesn't have to give up his beloved horse. This chapter is terrific and filled with action. I will be waiting for the next addition to the story. Excellent writing.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
-
Hi, thank you so much for the review, my friend! He was asked a lot as a gift, wasn't he?
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Theo has climbed the mountain and now he is asked for the gift Death wants. He wants Theo's beloved immortal horse, Recovery. How can he give up the horse that is bound to him? He is going to have to change the deal in some way that would benefit all three of them. One correction: . . . against the (corral) as well. . .
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
|
Theo has climbed the mountain and now he is asked for the gift Death wants. He wants Theo's beloved immortal horse, Recovery. How can he give up the horse that is bound to him? He is going to have to change the deal in some way that would benefit all three of them. One correction: . . . against the (corral) as well. . .
Comment Written 10-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
-
Hi Carol! Thanks so much for the review. It is most appreciated. I already wrote a reply to you, but this showed back up on my reviews, so if you get this twice, I apologize! Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
A virtual six for this marvelous cliff-hanger. I love all the chapters and am so glad you have posted them.
I came in late to the story but each chapter quickly caught and held my attention....especially, of course, those with any mention of the horses.
Smiles and blessings, Lily
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
|
A virtual six for this marvelous cliff-hanger. I love all the chapters and am so glad you have posted them.
I came in late to the story but each chapter quickly caught and held my attention....especially, of course, those with any mention of the horses.
Smiles and blessings, Lily
Comment Written 10-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
-
Hi Lily,
Thank you so much for the virtual 6. What a blessing!!
I am very glad you came in to the story at any point.
Big hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from lyenochka
That was smart of you to use the plain text as I have read others where the spacing was very strange.
Well, I sure hope that Theo's horse won't want to go with these spooky brothers. I would think the connection between Theo and his horse would not transfer to them.
I liked the climbing scene and I thought of how many rock climbers among your readers would find that gratifying!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
|
That was smart of you to use the plain text as I have read others where the spacing was very strange.
Well, I sure hope that Theo's horse won't want to go with these spooky brothers. I would think the connection between Theo and his horse would not transfer to them.
I liked the climbing scene and I thought of how many rock climbers among your readers would find that gratifying!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
-
Hi Helen,
It was a frustrating day trying to get the Advanced Editor to work. It was an all day thing, then I gave up, lol.
Thanks for reading and reviewing!! I had a lot of trouble with the climbing scene. I wanted to make it authentic, but there were so many technicalities, and they would have required to have him with specialized equipment he couldn't have had with him, so I sort of went with generalized terms.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
Thanatos has taken the boys out of the action, and of course Theo would think that's a relief, the stallions also think it is a good thing too and cavort like colts, now their destinies are taking shape, it's funny how omniscience works, we have a goal in life and God knows how it will turn out, well done Rhonda, blessings Roy
Typo: Nifty (s)nickered in response.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
|
Thanatos has taken the boys out of the action, and of course Theo would think that's a relief, the stallions also think it is a good thing too and cavort like colts, now their destinies are taking shape, it's funny how omniscience works, we have a goal in life and God knows how it will turn out, well done Rhonda, blessings Roy
Typo: Nifty (s)nickered in response.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
-
Hi Roy,
Thank you for the review. Yes, omniscience is a marvelous thing! God is good!
Take care,
Rhonda
-
Pleasure
-
Amen