Reviews from

Unfinished Brushstrokes

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Unfinished Brushstrokes - Chap 3"
story of love, loss, new beginnings and secrets.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

From Jenna's *advantage* point in the back of the room
(vantage)

erupted into shock, followed instantly by exuberant cheers
.
(The period fell down a line)

We're rich, Mommy!" She *sprung* from her chair
(sprang. 'Sprung' is the perfect tense...have sprung, had sprung)

She hadn't thought about how he'd get started, now she knew that would be a priority.
(Comma splice...two sentences incorrectly joined by a comma. I'd recommend a semi-colon, or period if you'd rather)

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2024
    Such an eagle eye you have, my friend. I can proof and proof and still miss things. Thank you as always.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh Good!
Hysteria and mayhem make for fine writing and reading and this chapter has plenty of both.
I enjoyed the crescendo effect each allocation caused and I'm delighted with the final paragraph which means there's more drama and intrigue to follow.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 19-Jul-2024
    Hello Shirley...Sorry I've been missing in action for five days. Mother Nature wasn't too nice and I got caught in 92 mph winds which played havoc. No power or water. But I'm back to find this awsome review and stars. Thank you for making my day.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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As always, you have me wondering about all the different directions this story could go in. And if the murder might have been staged and she really isn't dead. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
    Oh it's like a spinnning top or maybe that's a roulette wheel. Round and round it goes....Thank you for reading from the beginning. I am sure you had better things to do. You are the best!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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I made a contest. where people write me a birthday card, thus insuring I get some! I am working on catching up with your story. I am already very involved. Karen

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 15-Jul-2024
    I'll try and check it out but right now I am just trying to write and finish this book in a mont. It's a contest. Thanks again
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 15-Jul-2024
    I wouldn't do it, best wishes and all that. That would be crazy making.My head would explode. Karen
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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Way to go, Carol. Your new ghost novel has an excellent beginning. I have to catch up again because I have been busy with outside work these last few days.

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
    No problem, April. I am glad that you are able to read whenever you get time. Thanks so much as always.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
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The story progresses with the Will being read, for the most part. We still have a couple of tasks left to find out about. Eleanor has also come up missing after enjoying the discomfort of some family members after finding out what their tasks are.

Great job,
Hope all is well in your neck of the woods,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
    You are about to get into the action....
    Thank you for reading thus far and leaving wonderful reviews. I truly appreciate it.
    Smiles, Carol
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 11-Jul-2024
    Nice, I can't wait!!!
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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I love the interaction here. It's a classic scenario of a family being greedy and wanting everything for nothing. But of course, Eleanor is playing on just that. What fun this is, Carol. Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
    I must admit I had fun with it. They don't deserve to inherit a thing and some of them are going to learn the hard way. Thanks so much, Ulla.
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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She certainly knew her family! This sounds as though it's going to be a riot. A clever way of setting up believable character arcs for all concerned, too. Keep it coming!

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
    Been having some horrible problems with spacing so I hope it was fixed before you tried to read this chapter. I struggled with it all yesterday. I hope I can pull off all the hi-jinks and life changing events.
    Thank you again!
    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Another excellent chapter, Carol. Although the family are not at all nice, I can't see any of them murdering Eleanor, as far as they were all concerned, she had nothing for them to murder her for. But perhaps one of them did?? And that SUV, who is that for? The gambler, or the drug addict? Hmm!
Well done, my friend, the story is moving on fabulously. Love and hugs, Sandra xxx

ps Take a look at the formatting, it's got rather long spaces between paragraphs, and the line spacing changes a quarter of the way down. It's easy to fix. xxxx

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
    I've corrected it about fifteen times and it just returns. I even erased the story, took it from word to google, then posted again. It just comes back the same. Roy said he thinks its the site, Beth and Karen are having troubles too. Yesterday, I got the maintenance post twice and couldn't use the site at all. Something''s going crazy! And it's probably me!!!

    Glad you liked the chapter. I wanted to write another but I couldn't while messing with the spacing. Maybe today!
    Love ya, Carol
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 10-Jul-2024
    I had the maintenance twice yesterday as well. Don't worry about it. I've had those problems before and it's just annoying. I'll look for your chapter tomorrow. 😊🥰
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
    It's so frustrating. Every one is writing me about it. I've tried everything so maybe a miracle will happen today. I fussed with it all day yesterday and wanted to write another chapter but that didn't happen.

    Love ya, Carol
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
    Beth just told me to run everything together, save it and then separate it. It worked! At least for now. thank heavens!
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 10-Jul-2024
    I've just checked. Yes, it did work. I must remember that just in case it happens to me. Now you can relax and write. 🥰🥰
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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Ah. Eleanor is a clever one! I like her tasks. It'll be interesting to see what Jenna's task is. Working together as a team for any of these projects will not be easy.
WEll done. It is going to be a fascinating story.
Wendy
By the way, the spacing is a bit odd in this chapter. Irregular and sometimes very large spaces between paragraphs.
Edits: "It was then that she realized only she could see Eleanor " (Add a full stop at the end.)
"She did. I'm surprised after receiving the other donation." (Substitute a question mark after "She did".

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2024


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
    I've been trying to fix the spacing over and over but nothing works. I've retyped, reset and started from square one but it just returns to what it was after I save it and post. Sorry!

    thanks for catching the glitches. I'm surprised I haven't erased more with all the continued changes.
    Smiles, Carol