Spirited Justice
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Murder on Fifth Avenue"Mystery, crime and ghostly high jinks
22 total reviews
Comment from Esther Brown
I am starting at the beginning. And like I said, you probably are going to get every one of my Sunday stars. I like the strength of the characters with their obvious built in flaws and previous relationships. Always a plus. Esther
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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I am starting at the beginning. And like I said, you probably are going to get every one of my Sunday stars. I like the strength of the characters with their obvious built in flaws and previous relationships. Always a plus. Esther
Comment Written 25-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2024
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Awesome! I am thrilled that you are going to read the story from the beginning and give me insight on how you think it progresses as you are able to read consecutively insidead of waiting. You are awesome, my friend! Thank you!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, this is a great beginning for a new book. It is fun and moves along quickly and it's full of zest. I like the ghost already. She's something else. All the best of luck in the contest. A big hug, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Hi Carol, this is a great beginning for a new book. It is fun and moves along quickly and it's full of zest. I like the ghost already. She's something else. All the best of luck in the contest. A big hug, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Thanks Ulla...How are you? Haven't heard from you in a few days. Everything okay? thanks for reading the story. I love Danni too..a sucy girl.
Smiles, Carol
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I'm okay. We got the water back.on on Wednesday. But I've had a few other things to deal with. I'm fine, but had to make a decision family wise. I should be posting on Sunday. Xx
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
It seems like too many bits and pieces of information not totally connected yet. So many questions and not near enough answers. This is very involved. I am sure I will connect the dots sooner or later. My brains a bit fried with all the moving. :-)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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It seems like too many bits and pieces of information not totally connected yet. So many questions and not near enough answers. This is very involved. I am sure I will connect the dots sooner or later. My brains a bit fried with all the moving. :-)
Comment Written 02-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Did you miss the Prologue? It might help you figure out the story a little better. thanks for stopping by.
smiles, Carol
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What a wonderful ghost, Danni! I loved her entrance. She's going to give your book such an edge. And Naomi is to be watched then (I trust Danni on this) Your characters are already emerging nicely, with intrigue. Well done, Carol, and good luck! This looks set to be a strong contender. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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What a wonderful ghost, Danni! I loved her entrance. She's going to give your book such an edge. And Naomi is to be watched then (I trust Danni on this) Your characters are already emerging nicely, with intrigue. Well done, Carol, and good luck! This looks set to be a strong contender. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2024
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Yes, Danni is a pistol! She is enjoying her afterlife as a ghost, but forgets that her actual duties are serious at times. Naomi started out with good intentions, but circumstances have her caught in a web of deceit. thank you so much for stopping by to read. I hope you enjoy the story.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BOO ghost
After drowning his sorrows in a fifth of whiskey the night before, he was paying the price. BOO can honestly say, this has happened to me in my younger Navy days.
Reading...She twirled into the room in her vintage 1940s outfit -- a knee-length navy-blue polka dot dress with a cinched waist, a small beret, and polished low-heeled shoes, exuding an air of morning freshness. Like that detailed description. Paints a visual image."So, after all my years as a professional medical examiner, you want me to believe I am now communicating with a dead person -- a ghost?" So, he has doubts that she's a ghost?
Danni's ghostly presence shimmered with resolve. "I'm ready to work." Oh, guess she's a ghost detective. She can materialize at will or certain circumstances? Prose nicely written. No obvious flaws. Like I tell everyone, don't forget to use show!
Another dandy from your favorite ghost, BOO!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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After drowning his sorrows in a fifth of whiskey the night before, he was paying the price. BOO can honestly say, this has happened to me in my younger Navy days.
Reading...She twirled into the room in her vintage 1940s outfit -- a knee-length navy-blue polka dot dress with a cinched waist, a small beret, and polished low-heeled shoes, exuding an air of morning freshness. Like that detailed description. Paints a visual image."So, after all my years as a professional medical examiner, you want me to believe I am now communicating with a dead person -- a ghost?" So, he has doubts that she's a ghost?
Danni's ghostly presence shimmered with resolve. "I'm ready to work." Oh, guess she's a ghost detective. She can materialize at will or certain circumstances? Prose nicely written. No obvious flaws. Like I tell everyone, don't forget to use show!
Another dandy from your favorite ghost, BOO!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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Thank you so much BOO and to think I always thought ghosts were wicked. Now I am writing stories about ghosts with humor and getting reviewed by a ghost too. I am beyond thrilled for having made your acquaintance.
thank you again for all your support and for the lovely stars. You are awesome!
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
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BOO, like a real ghost, has been hiding in his closet for many moons...I have written a couple of short ghost stories in the past.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a wonderful entry for the first book chapter contest. You used dialogue to excellent effect to drive the pace on, and the description was outstanding. Especially, you dive in straight to the heart of the story - the hallmark of a good beginning to a novel kay
Three sets of eyes > Three pairs of eyes
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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This is a wonderful entry for the first book chapter contest. You used dialogue to excellent effect to drive the pace on, and the description was outstanding. Especially, you dive in straight to the heart of the story - the hallmark of a good beginning to a novel kay
Three sets of eyes > Three pairs of eyes
Comment Written 01-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2024
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Hello Katherine, Thank you for reading and sharing your delightful comments regarding this first chapter. I love when someone finds enjoyment in my writing.
fixed the suggestion....thanks
Have a great day!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Sally Law
I an SO sorry to be out of sixes! This is a delightful first chapter to your new book. The characters are already developing, and have a wickedly fun banter. I love clothes, so the vintage dress and beret caught my attention.
One typo: Use knee-length dress, instead of knee-high dress. Knee-high would be a word for knee socks, boots, or britches/breeches that had been rolled up to the knee.
Great chapter, my friend, and I know the judges will think so too.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal Xos
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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I an SO sorry to be out of sixes! This is a delightful first chapter to your new book. The characters are already developing, and have a wickedly fun banter. I love clothes, so the vintage dress and beret caught my attention.
One typo: Use knee-length dress, instead of knee-high dress. Knee-high would be a word for knee socks, boots, or britches/breeches that had been rolled up to the knee.
Great chapter, my friend, and I know the judges will think so too.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest.
Sal Xos
Comment Written 31-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Fixed and thank you!
Thanks for stopping by to reach my first chapter...appreciate it very much. There is a prologue and a 2nd chapter with money if yu are interested.
Either way, I appreciate your comments and review.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
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You're most welcome! I just reviewed the second chapter! Great book!
Sal :))
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thanks Sally! Coming from the Queen of Detective stories I am flattered,
Smiles, Carol
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My delight to read. :))
Comment from lyenochka
Oh dear! Donatelli has way more history with all kinds of people. Last time it was Garth and this time it was a woman. Hope he can resolve his emotions with Naomi, unless Danny's suspicions are true. A great way to introduce these characters!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Oh dear! Donatelli has way more history with all kinds of people. Last time it was Garth and this time it was a woman. Hope he can resolve his emotions with Naomi, unless Danny's suspicions are true. A great way to introduce these characters!
Comment Written 31-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Donatelli is a good detective but he's reached a low spot in his life and he's struggling to be who he once was while the evil forces are pulling him down. Maybe Danny's continual poking will set him upright again.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a good start to you story and introduction to Danny. Which story were she and Donatelli in? He doesn't seem amused by her but easily tolerates her, and he isn't good a tolerating anything. I would think Dr. Galotti might have a problem with her unless she has already met a ghost or two.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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This is a good start to you story and introduction to Danny. Which story were she and Donatelli in? He doesn't seem amused by her but easily tolerates her, and he isn't good a tolerating anything. I would think Dr. Galotti might have a problem with her unless she has already met a ghost or two.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2024
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Donatelli was in the last one of curse but Danny is new on the scene. I needed a ghost that was just a little bit more "on the wild" side to battle with the detective. She just might be what it takes to shake him up!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Great first chapter to an interesting murder mystery. Your characters are well defined and explained to the reader. Detective Donatelli seems to have a history with several people in the story. Best wishes in the contest. I look forward to reading the rest of this mystery. Carol
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Great first chapter to an interesting murder mystery. Your characters are well defined and explained to the reader. Detective Donatelli seems to have a history with several people in the story. Best wishes in the contest. I look forward to reading the rest of this mystery. Carol
Comment Written 30-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2024
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Carol, how wonderful to hear from you. I hope things are getting better now. Thanks for reading the first chapter. A few characters are from the last story because everyone was asking for them and I hated to tell them goodbye. I hope you enjoy this one.
Smiles, Carol
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Sorry I totally missed your last book. When I get a chance, I'll try to go back and read it. I'm trying to spend a little time each day on FS, as I'm able. Glad you're starting a new book, too.
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Hope you are feeling okay and your husband too. Missed hearing from you. Take care and have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
