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His Silence

Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "His Silence - Chapter 31"
Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?

6 total reviews 
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I feel this is very dangerous for Danielle to go for that long. They will attempt to keep her there. I do want her to speak to Max again. I feel he's onto something. Thank you for sharing. This is a very good post.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
    Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
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This chapter sounds like Danielle is going to create her own undercover assignment for a month. Her brother is the one who has more answers, but she is still too angry to keep her fists to herself when visiting him before. I like your details like 'thrum of a lawn mower' to help set the scene.
Little fixes related to comma usage:
I sigh. 'Look, Callum I really, really want to go back to the house;
If the character speaks directly to someone and addresses them by name, you must set their name off with a comma before and after.
So: 'Look, Callum, I really, really want to go back to the house;

I squeeze my duvet. 'I dunno Callum, I guess, a minimum three to four weeks.
If you say their name in the middle of the sentence, you must put a comma on each side of their name.
So: I dunno, Callum, I guess a minimum three to four weeks. (and I took the comma out after guess since it wasn't necessary)


'You have to really want to do this Callum;
Same reason as above, only if you say it at the end of a sentence/independent clause, you also set off the name with a comma.
So: 'You have to really want to do this, Callum;
We all want to keep reading!

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
    Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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Yes great! This now seems to be the only way, just half-known/expressed facts from Max and Jeremiah otherwise. I like the way this chapter read with those scenes of summer contrasting with Danielle's thoughts pounding in her head. Well done! Debbie

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
    Thank you Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
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Okay, Danielle, I'm voting no on this one!! Nothing but trouble ahead with these people!! Great job of building suspense and pulling your reader into the story! I don't usually like when people post often because I have trouble finding time to keep up. It does help with continuity, though.
Most authors on here include a bit of the last chapter before the new one to help us reorient to your story as we read so many. It's a suggestion, but you do write often enough one can keep up.

Take care,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
    Thank you Rhonda, I have put information regarding previous chapters in another book a I posted on here, but some people liked it and some people didn't so I have just decided to leave it out. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 12-Sep-2024
    It was just a suggestion. Anytime I leave mine off, people complain, lol, but then I only post once a week, sometimes once every 2 weeks. I have to remind people!
Comment from BethShelby
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I'm wondering what a month will do to help her get answers. They have told her they didn't know what happened. It seems her brother is the only one who really knows. I would think she might get him to talk she wasn't so angry, but you are really the only one who knows where it is going I'll have to trust further posts for answers.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
    Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
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The banging voice IN MY HEAD says you are crazy, Danielle. Every possible sign says they are strange people and you are putting you as well as Callum in danger.....But if you go, I have to go too as a reader. LOL Good job, Jacob!
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2024
    Thank you Carol, I'm pleased you enjoyed it.