Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Well, that was a spectacular turnaround! I wonder how Jules is going to react. She must be pretty fed up with these wild swings in Brian's behaviour. It's also not looking good as far as getting the medication approved.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2024

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reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024

You're right. It probably won't be approved like this, as it has become no different from opioids in the euphoria aspect if taken in excess.

By the time you read this, you'll know Julia's reaction to this episode and why she is more concerned for him than furious about it.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Well written Jim. You show how Brian quickly gets under the hold of the euphoria from the high and the impact it has on all aspects of his life. I'm glad you brought Julia back early. Another great Chapter.
Cheers
Valda

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024

Thanks, Valda. This is the key event in the story and both of their responses to it will determine success or failure of not only his project, but more than likely their marriage too.

Comment from Rachelle Allen

Excellent

Rut-roh!!! (Do you remember Astro, the family dog on the caratoon, the Jetsons? That was always what he said: RUT- ROH! when there was a catastrophe.)

This is about to get SOOO very ugly. GREAT chapter in every way, Jim!! I am so mad at myself for not having a six left!! My eyes were welling up for Brian, who is into such deep denial that he actually thinks that once he's "free" of his Dipraxa tomorrow, he's going to be able to clean the house, mow the lawn and get himself cleaned up, as well, and Julia will be none the wiser. It never crosses his mind that he's actually going to crash and burn. So intrigued to see how Julia handles all this. (After two months on tour, coming home to this. This is so bad!) I repeat: GREAT chapter!! xoxox

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024

You've got it, Rachelle. Rut-roh! There's something coming neither one is expecting and things will be getting much worse before they get better again.

I will be interested in hearing how you think Julia handles things, and whether her attitude and behavior is consistent. The next chapter is devoted to her and the chapter after that kind of wraps up this episode. I would like to have made them one big chapter (this one and the next two), but it would have been too long for most people.

Not to prejudice your thinking or anything (yeah, right), in evaluating Julia's handling of the situation, bear in mind the timeframe of the story. At this point in the story, they have been a couple for 15 years and have been married for about 10 of those. Also bear in mind that Brian has been clean for the last 13 years since the gym accident that caused him great pain at age 18.

I would take exception with one thing you said about Brian. I know this will seem strange because I'm the author and know what's coming, but simply as a reader, I think he is aware that he's going to crash and burn but is putting it off until Julia is back because he knows he will require her help to get over the addiction. I don't think he will try to hide what he's been doing from her. He hid it during her two-month tour because he didn't want to distract her with his problem. He was sparing her the anguish and didn't want her cutting the tour short, because it's her career.

I think he fully intends to bare all when she gets home. He wants to clean the place and himself up so as not to gross her out, but not as any kind of attempt to hide from her what he's been doing and what caused it. I think he knows he's been a bad boy, but just had an impossible time stopping himself. The fact that he destroyed all his chemicals is significant because he realizes he'll never have any kind of future unless he stops taking the drug, and he hasn't given up on life yet.

I'm very much like this when there are sweets in the house. I will eat them until they are gone, but I won't buy any more (at least for a while) because I can do without; I just can't moderate the cravings when it's readily available. I know they are bad for my health, but I still binge until they are gone.

reply by Rachelle Allen on 27-Sep-2024

I am the exact same way with sweets! But here's the conundrum for me: I gave "one piece for each talented hand" to every student who's done well with lessons that week, so I have an entire HAMPER full of candy in the Music Room of my house, and I replenish the stash I carry in my piano bag every day!!) I, too, have times when I binge. It's horrible. I absolutely know I shouldn't...and yet, there I am at the hamper like it's a trough and I'm Secretariat after the Preakness. So bad. Thankfully, I'm very conceited, so the minute my scale goes up, I'm cured for a bit. A six-year-old piano student of mine once asked, "Hey, do you ever EAT any of that candy you carry with you?" "Oh, sure!" I told him. "Ohhh, I'm going to be a piano teacher when I grow up!" he said.

I see what you're saying about Brian's motivation for getting things in better order.

My guess as to what Julia does is pretty much what mine would be if this happened to Bobby: I would feel horrible for him and guilty that I wasn't there to help and embarrassed that I didn't see any of the signs. I wouldn't be "mad" or "disappointed," I would be bereft for him, because I'd worry that he'd think he was a failure or a loser. How'd I do?

reply by the author on 28-Sep-2024

Yeah, it's important to weigh yourself regularly. It's the only thing that keeps me semi-honest. Losing weight is easy; I've done it hundreds of times! It's the keeping it off that's the hard thing. And I continue to yo-yo, which I know isn't good for you, but I guess is better than just putting the weight on and leaving it on or increasing it.

You did great with your interpretation. That's exactly how I see things too in regards to Julia. A number who are reading this are too quick to judge, such that I felt it necessary to go back and revise the next chapter a little bit and explain things a little more so that folks can keep a proper perspective on his actual addiction.

A little more author insight here if you're interested:

This is not a story in which the main focus is presenting the typical picture readers may have of addiction. His addiction is sporadic and largely under control with a few flareups. I have been criticized by some (yourself included as I recall), especially those who have personal experience with real addicts, as not presenting Brian as a believable addict. That may very well be true because I don't have the personal experience of being or knowing a real drug addict.

I would have needed to do a lot more research about drug addiction to present a very accurate picture, but that was not my reason for writing the story.

There have been many good stories, both non-fiction and fiction of real addiction both in books and films, that have dealt with this subject far better than I ever could. Instead, I wanted to focus on something that hasn't been covered very much, and that is the efforts to find a solution to the problem of opioids in the form of a non-addictive, equally potent painkiller. That was where my interest lay and the original thought I had before deciding to write a novel about it. I enjoy the science of it.

Brian probably isn't the typical addict because his main reason for the drugs was pain relief, and he just happened to get snared by the euphoric feelings the drugs provide from time to time. He never started taking them nor fell off the wagon because he wanted to get high, but always because of accidents which caused great pain, or, in this case, a double dose which created the most euphoric feeling he ever experienced, and he just didn't have the strength to resist it.

The devil in the title refers to more than just addiction. It's actually a triumvirate of pain, addiction, and depression (which is coming).

reply by Rachelle Allen on 28-Sep-2024

Thanks for the insight. I appreciate that a lot and will keep it in mind as I continue to read. xoxo

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

This addiction seems to come back awfully easily. It is like common sense is suspended and that you can't remember how out of control like was during the last addiction. Julia had good reason to cry before she left two months before. Things did change in a bad way.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2024

I think it's somewhat akin, but maybe worse even than when an alcoholic takes a drink after being sober for a while. It just draws them back in, and they seem almost powerless to stop it. It's baffling if you haven't experienced it. There is a definite genetic component to addiction, and those who don't have the addiction gene may have a hard time understanding it.

Comment from Cindy Decker 3

Excellent

Jim, this is an extraordinary account of your addiction. First of all you must've been in my messy apartment; I went through the same thing until my young niece rescued me.
You once wondered how I got off hydrocortisone; I simply ran out and my doctors knew I was addicted to pain killers and refused to give me more. I have to confess I turned to over-the-counter thc gummies for awhile, they aren't really addictive. I don't have the need to use them any more.
I hope you win your battle, Jim. Life eventually looks and feels better without painkillers.
God bless,
Best wishes,
Cindy

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2024

Thank you very much, Cindy. This isn't really an account of my addiction which was to pot in my 20s. That was not for pain, but purely for pleasure and was a psychological addiction I was able to quickly get over when it started impacting my health (chronic bronchitis) and I started having kids. But it did give me some insight into Brian's addiction.

I have taken opioid painkillers several times, including hydrocodone (Vicodin), for back and other pains, but I've always been able to taper off them when the pain was gone, and they never made me feel high, as Brian's do.

I'm sorry your doctor cut you off cold turkey, because that is definitely not an ideal way to stop because of the withdrawal symptoms. He should have given you just enough to taper off without having to undergo withdrawal.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Oh-oh! She came home early! And then she will see the full impact overdosing on Dipraxa has had on Brian. I recall some the fridge contents from the beginning but I also recall that the electricity had been turned off so I guess that's coming after Julie confronts him. Scary stuff!

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2024

Great memory, Helen! I actually changed that, and the electricity was no longer shut off.

She will be confronting him over the course of the next two chapters. Let me know by the end of the next two if you think everyone remained in character.

Comment from T B Botts

Exceptional

Hello Jim,
I think I must be on some kind of drug I didn't know I'd taken. I've tried to review this three or four times and each time I'm almost done and end up wiping it out. I was going to give some brilliant answer for a review, but at this point I'm just hoping to finish this. It's going to be interesting to see how Julia handles this. He obviously has an addiction problem. Love can conquer a multitude of sins, but it will be a tough one to overcome this time. I hope somehow there is some redemption. Well done my friend.
Blessings,
Tom

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2024

Wow, you've really been thinking a lot about this. That is music to my ears, my friend! Please let me know after you finish reading the next two chapters if you think everyone stayed in character as you perceive them. I would like to have made this one and the next two one big chapter, but due to length, I had to split it up, but they are all part of the same scene, and it's hard to judge until all three have been presented.

Thanks very much for those 6 stars too.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I recognised when I stopped drinking and drinking, that I had a propensity to be a good target for addiction, my passion for things that rule out living with commitment to others and to feed what makes me be in touch with what I considered important like other people and sheer responsibility, Brian is me, believe it or not. Beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

I guess that means there's hope for Brian still. You certainly were able to overcome it, Roy. We all need help from time to time.

reply by royowen on 24-Sep-2024

The only way was to stop, God asked me to stop, and I did, the only way for impulsive, compulsive characters like me is abolition.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This all sounds a bit worrying Jim, this miracle drug may have a downside that kicks in at anytime and I hope poor Brian does not crash! It sounds like he has let himself go a bit too! It that a picture of his bedroom! Oh dear, things are going south, another fine chapter Jim, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Yep, that's his bedroom. He has really let things go to pot. He may not be at the very bottom yet, but he soon will be.

We'll get to see how Julia processes this in the next chapter.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I'm glad Julie is back and can maybe help Brian. He seems to understand he needs help. I am curious how easy it is for him to get off of Dipraxa. Maybe harder than he thinks. Can't wait to read more.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2024

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reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Yes, it may be harder than he thinks to get off it. Although it may not be physically addicting, there's the psychological addiction which can be just as strong. Brian is going to need all the help Julia can give him if she's willing to give it. Do you think she will be willing?

reply by barbara.wilkey on 24-Sep-2024

She loves him. I think she will. Of course, there's always a chance that she might be afraid that he'll never completely to be free of this problem.

reply by the author on 24-Sep-2024

Nice analysis. We'll know soon enough.