All for Love
A young boys journey to get his father's attention16 total reviews
Comment from JudithMarie
Judy, This, again, is a wonderful writing, a tribute to your brother. I look forward to reading them each time. Your writing flows and the conversation brings me in almost as if I were there listening in. Wonder what the next story will be? JudithMarie
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
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Judy, This, again, is a wonderful writing, a tribute to your brother. I look forward to reading them each time. Your writing flows and the conversation brings me in almost as if I were there listening in. Wonder what the next story will be? JudithMarie
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
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Thanks Judy. It probably time to get these stories into chapters. Thank you for your support. -Judy
Comment from Joy B
Wow, very powerful and emotional. A clever twist on the theme, I did not expect it. I especially liked the line at the end where Mark looks back at his father as he is climbing the stairs and "for a brief moment felt loved." Well written, you do dialogue so well.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Wow, very powerful and emotional. A clever twist on the theme, I did not expect it. I especially liked the line at the end where Mark looks back at his father as he is climbing the stairs and "for a brief moment felt loved." Well written, you do dialogue so well.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you Joy. The six stars is so appreciated too. I am glad you liked it. This is another chapter in the book. -Judy
Comment from spellbound
Reads smooth. Great dialogue. Description was easy to be right there.
I could really connect with the sleeping bag on the hard floor and the cold nights.
Sad to know this is based on fact.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Reads smooth. Great dialogue. Description was easy to be right there.
I could really connect with the sleeping bag on the hard floor and the cold nights.
Sad to know this is based on fact.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you for reviewing and commenting. -Judy
Comment from adewpearl
How horrible that a child would feel this neglected, to live in a tree for days and then injure himself, just to get his dad's attention and feel loved, if only momentarily - I am so sorry this is based on your brother's experience. At that age my father made me feel so loved and protected - it seems horrific to me that some children never got to feel that way.
Excellent dialogue, realistically portrayed characters - well written. Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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How horrible that a child would feel this neglected, to live in a tree for days and then injure himself, just to get his dad's attention and feel loved, if only momentarily - I am so sorry this is based on your brother's experience. At that age my father made me feel so loved and protected - it seems horrific to me that some children never got to feel that way.
Excellent dialogue, realistically portrayed characters - well written. Brooke
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Brooke. I am happy that your father made you feel safe and loved. Thank you for reading and reviewing this piece. -Judy
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Mark certainly has some imagination, to create a story like the one he told. I hope it accomplished the desired effect. It does seem to have, since you say that mark saw the love in his father's eyes.
I could just see those two young friends in the tree house, and Mark finally deciding that it was time to go home.
Well written.
Juliette
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Mark certainly has some imagination, to create a story like the one he told. I hope it accomplished the desired effect. It does seem to have, since you say that mark saw the love in his father's eyes.
I could just see those two young friends in the tree house, and Mark finally deciding that it was time to go home.
Well written.
Juliette
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you Juliette. That was quite and adventure and one that he told when he got older. I appreciate the review and all the stars. -Judy
Comment from sugardog
Ah, so sad that mark had to go to such great measures to get the attention he so badly needed from his father. I hope that things changed from this and that Mark didn't have to fabricate a story like that again. Sad that some kids have to force their patrents to notice them... I thought you did a nice job on your story with plot and dialogue and description. Good luck in the contest! Dana
"...I will go home when I am sure he has noticed I my(take out the I)absence;when he starts to worry about me."
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Ah, so sad that mark had to go to such great measures to get the attention he so badly needed from his father. I hope that things changed from this and that Mark didn't have to fabricate a story like that again. Sad that some kids have to force their patrents to notice them... I thought you did a nice job on your story with plot and dialogue and description. Good luck in the contest! Dana
"...I will go home when I am sure he has noticed I my(take out the I)absence;when he starts to worry about me."
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you Dana. I appreciate the review and your kind comments. -Judy
Comment from Begin Again
Judy,
How sad that a yong boy feels he has to reach for desperate measures in order to find love from his parents..even if he might be mistaken....Great job!
Carol
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Judy,
How sad that a yong boy feels he has to reach for desperate measures in order to find love from his parents..even if he might be mistaken....Great job!
Carol
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Carol. I appreciate your words, as always. -Judy
Comment from CaptainKurt
Good job, Judy. Just one thing: in the 4th paragraph you seem to have a wandering "I". "...he has noticed I my absence; when he starts to worry about me."
I can only imagine the anxiety you and your siblings felt while your brother was gone. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Good job, Judy. Just one thing: in the 4th paragraph you seem to have a wandering "I". "...he has noticed I my absence; when he starts to worry about me."
I can only imagine the anxiety you and your siblings felt while your brother was gone. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you Kurt. It is amazing how many times I can read through and still miss things. I appreciate your comments. -Judy
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I hear you! The only person I know that doesn't miss a thing is my wife ;-)
Comment from anabellapongasi
Hi Judy,
This is a very well written story. I can understand the boy (your brother or any kid) who felt he had to do those things to get the parents' attention and love. Sad to say I've been there. I knew what it felt like to be uncertain about my parents' love when I was a kid. I was probably about Mark's age (or younger, not sure) when I tried running away. I only went to my aunt's place though which was a few houses away so before bedtime I was back home...Well your story certainly brought back some memories. Nice job.
Anabella
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Hi Judy,
This is a very well written story. I can understand the boy (your brother or any kid) who felt he had to do those things to get the parents' attention and love. Sad to say I've been there. I knew what it felt like to be uncertain about my parents' love when I was a kid. I was probably about Mark's age (or younger, not sure) when I tried running away. I only went to my aunt's place though which was a few houses away so before bedtime I was back home...Well your story certainly brought back some memories. Nice job.
Anabella
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you, I am glad you could relate to this story. I appreciate your kind words and all the stars. -Judy
Comment from BJean
This is such a sad story that one felt like he had to go to these extremes to feel loved.
I'm sorry this is based on a true story. I do hope things impproved. This is well written and gives an important message to parents. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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This is such a sad story that one felt like he had to go to these extremes to feel loved.
I'm sorry this is based on a true story. I do hope things impproved. This is well written and gives an important message to parents. Love, Jean
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you for reading this, Jean. I appreciate your kind words and the 5 stars too. -Judy