What does it sound like
a 5-7-5 poem14 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I love the photo, it says it all. "When the the music stops",
You fulfilled the requirements of this particular poetic discipline very well indeed! It had all drama and poignancy of a much longer poem. The drama change from the first two lines to the third were incredible, Well done with this one, and good luck! Blessings,Roy.
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I love the photo, it says it all. "When the the music stops",
You fulfilled the requirements of this particular poetic discipline very well indeed! It had all drama and poignancy of a much longer poem. The drama change from the first two lines to the third were incredible, Well done with this one, and good luck! Blessings,Roy.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, your poem speaks volumes in only 17 syllables. Of note:
Now there is silence
(drinking and driving ~ a dead end street)
A poem that too often reflects real life. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
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Hello author, your poem speaks volumes in only 17 syllables. Of note:
Now there is silence
(drinking and driving ~ a dead end street)
A poem that too often reflects real life. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 31-Jan-2014
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I think this should be posted in every high school with this exact picture. The picture says a thousand words but then you read the poem and even though it's short the meaning is much bigger. Great job
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I think this should be posted in every high school with this exact picture. The picture says a thousand words but then you read the poem and even though it's short the meaning is much bigger. Great job
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the short version of a drunk driver. It happens that quickly. All it takes is once. Then silence for ever. You will be able to hear the tears of your loved ones when they visit your head stone. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
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I love the short version of a drunk driver. It happens that quickly. All it takes is once. Then silence for ever. You will be able to hear the tears of your loved ones when they visit your head stone. Great work. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from l.raven
And that is what happens when you drink and drive...silence for eternity...is it worth it??? no!!!short poem with a great meaning...well written
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And that is what happens when you drink and drive...silence for eternity...is it worth it??? no!!!short poem with a great meaning...well written
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from Lovinia
A very thoughtful, yet graphic depiction of the results of drink driving. A great and timely poem with a strong message. Alcohol related, accident. crime, violence is out of hand and needs to be strongly addressed before more lives are lost. I love a poem that creates awareness and/or provides a strong message.
I have enjoyed the use of sound words to arouse the audial as well as the visual - "Yelled/roared/silence", the allit. of 's' in :streets/silence" and the added consonance of 's' in "drinks/streets/is/silence" and the assonance of 'i', 'e' and 'o' - which convey a background echo when read aloud.
An excellent entry for the contest. Good luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxoxo
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A very thoughtful, yet graphic depiction of the results of drink driving. A great and timely poem with a strong message. Alcohol related, accident. crime, violence is out of hand and needs to be strongly addressed before more lives are lost. I love a poem that creates awareness and/or provides a strong message.
I have enjoyed the use of sound words to arouse the audial as well as the visual - "Yelled/roared/silence", the allit. of 's' in :streets/silence" and the added consonance of 's' in "drinks/streets/is/silence" and the assonance of 'i', 'e' and 'o' - which convey a background echo when read aloud.
An excellent entry for the contest. Good luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxoxo
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from Val Crisson
Very powerful message regarding drinking and driving, or that is my take on it. Yes, the silence after death is striking, especially if it is the silence of a young person.
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Very powerful message regarding drinking and driving, or that is my take on it. Yes, the silence after death is striking, especially if it is the silence of a young person.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from Jean Lutz
I wasn't prepared for this ending. It prompted me to say a prayer for those I love especially the young drivers. Selected art and message work very effectively. Best to you with the entry.
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I wasn't prepared for this ending. It prompted me to say a prayer for those I love especially the young drivers. Selected art and message work very effectively. Best to you with the entry.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A well written and thoughtful 5/7/5 poem with a powerful message.
The carefully chosen words and thoughtful image tell a tale of foolishness and then deep sadness and loss.
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A well written and thoughtful 5/7/5 poem with a powerful message.
The carefully chosen words and thoughtful image tell a tale of foolishness and then deep sadness and loss.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014
Comment from mfowler
Oooh!This 5-7-5 poem packs a punch of emotional importance. From: First we yelled for drinks........to the recklessnes the alcohol brings on: And then we roared through the streets...........to the sadness of an unnecessary death:Now there is silence. This is a little masterpiece of onomatopoeia used skillfully in a tiny space. Good writing!
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Oooh!This 5-7-5 poem packs a punch of emotional importance. From: First we yelled for drinks........to the recklessnes the alcohol brings on: And then we roared through the streets...........to the sadness of an unnecessary death:Now there is silence. This is a little masterpiece of onomatopoeia used skillfully in a tiny space. Good writing!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2014