Wedding Day Bliss
Short Story24 total reviews
Comment from Lynette Marie
Hi Mikey, Bravo! Your descriptions of the characters evoke vivid images. The irony in the story line is flawless. Congrats on your win, you deserve it!
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Hi Mikey, Bravo! Your descriptions of the characters evoke vivid images. The irony in the story line is flawless. Congrats on your win, you deserve it!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
Comment from amada
Congratulations in winning the prize. This is an excellent thriller in just 500 words. Much bravado and a sweet revenge as well. Bravo senorita.
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Congratulations in winning the prize. This is an excellent thriller in just 500 words. Much bravado and a sweet revenge as well. Bravo senorita.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2014
Comment from Drew Delaney
Another stunning thriller. Assassination or hit woman definitely fits this one. The ploy is to allow the guy to do all the dirty work and then the woman or vice-versa gets rid of him/her. Dirty deal. Well written.
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Another stunning thriller. Assassination or hit woman definitely fits this one. The ploy is to allow the guy to do all the dirty work and then the woman or vice-versa gets rid of him/her. Dirty deal. Well written.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Twilightspire
Nice work. I love that you did it in a story within a story format, it really added to the tension. The reveal at the end was well done and added spectacularly to the story.
Excellent dialogue and the pictures added enjoyment to the tale. Wonderful job and good luck with the contest.
-T.J.
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Nice work. I love that you did it in a story within a story format, it really added to the tension. The reveal at the end was well done and added spectacularly to the story.
Excellent dialogue and the pictures added enjoyment to the tale. Wonderful job and good luck with the contest.
-T.J.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the story. I love the pictures. The killer was cruel. He did not just kill, he tortured and maimed. He left a little girl as a witness. He thought he scared her too much to do anything. Wrong. She planned her revenge. She made him the happiest man on earth and then she killed him. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
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I love the story. I love the pictures. The killer was cruel. He did not just kill, he tortured and maimed. He left a little girl as a witness. He thought he scared her too much to do anything. Wrong. She planned her revenge. She made him the happiest man on earth and then she killed him. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I do understand the limitations of this contest, and I admire your courage in attempting this. Having said that, I think this would far more effective in a longer form. I couldn't quite figure out the girlfriend (or Hector, for that matter) or exactly what it was he did to poor Salazar (not that I really want to know). Overall, I thought this was a great intro to a longer story.
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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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I do understand the limitations of this contest, and I admire your courage in attempting this. Having said that, I think this would far more effective in a longer form. I couldn't quite figure out the girlfriend (or Hector, for that matter) or exactly what it was he did to poor Salazar (not that I really want to know). Overall, I thought this was a great intro to a longer story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2014
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Hmm. He killed her family. She grew up and married him so she could get revenge and kill him. I may expand it at some point, but the prompt calls for under 500 words. Thanks for your thoughts.
Comment from GeraldS
Now here is the classic assassin, the woman seeking revenge. It, unfortunately, is the only way to get justice in the setting of this story. This was an interesting read. And, the setting would provide for many more similar stories.
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Now here is the classic assassin, the woman seeking revenge. It, unfortunately, is the only way to get justice in the setting of this story. This was an interesting read. And, the setting would provide for many more similar stories.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
Excellent development of the plot is such a short fiction word limit. The artwork you chose seas perfect. The dialog was well done. Good luck in the contest.
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Excellent development of the plot is such a short fiction word limit. The artwork you chose seas perfect. The dialog was well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Judy Couch
This is an interesting story. I suspected that the girl was one of the daughters of the guy he killed. Your descriptions were great. One I really loved is: "He resembled a ground sloth in shape as well as facial features."
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This is an interesting story. I suspected that the girl was one of the daughters of the guy he killed. Your descriptions were great. One I really loved is: "He resembled a ground sloth in shape as well as facial features."
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014
Comment from Linda Engel
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. (Don't mess with my daddy.) good story, nicely written and held attention to the very twisted end.
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Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. (Don't mess with my daddy.) good story, nicely written and held attention to the very twisted end.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2014