Tiny Tales of Terror
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Scales"Multi-authored book of flash/micro horror fiction
18 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Great story, Gareth. I wondered where you'd go with it. I had a pretty good idea that Gilbert would pay for his terrorism. Only fitting that he should die,
"on the bathroom floor, flipping and floundering like a fish."
This is a well-written short story. We are left to try and picture what happened to the young lad. But he got his, and that's what counts.
Thanks for sharing!
cheers
Kimbob
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
  |
Great story, Gareth. I wondered where you'd go with it. I had a pretty good idea that Gilbert would pay for his terrorism. Only fitting that he should die,
"on the bathroom floor, flipping and floundering like a fish."
This is a well-written short story. We are left to try and picture what happened to the young lad. But he got his, and that's what counts.
Thanks for sharing!
cheers
Kimbob
Comment Written 28-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for your views on this one. Much appreciated, as always.
Comment from Mr. Dark
Was it the fish coming back to haunt Gilbert? Was there something in the bathwater? Did Harold do something to his brother or add something to the water? Does it matter? Hell no! This is classic tiny tale material, G. Classic! You set the scene beautifully. Gilbert ('gill'bert? On purpose?) watching the fish die on the shore was disturbingly real (to anyone who's every had a sadistic older brother). The ending was simple, but beautifully crafted. And the title: 'Scales...' Your double entendres are showing, sir LOLOL! Brilliant!
Again, no need for blood and guts here, just a damn fine nightmare. But I'd be careful... You're setting a standard that I will expect every time now :)
Loved this, G.
xoxo
--Sara
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
|
Was it the fish coming back to haunt Gilbert? Was there something in the bathwater? Did Harold do something to his brother or add something to the water? Does it matter? Hell no! This is classic tiny tale material, G. Classic! You set the scene beautifully. Gilbert ('gill'bert? On purpose?) watching the fish die on the shore was disturbingly real (to anyone who's every had a sadistic older brother). The ending was simple, but beautifully crafted. And the title: 'Scales...' Your double entendres are showing, sir LOLOL! Brilliant!
Again, no need for blood and guts here, just a damn fine nightmare. But I'd be careful... You're setting a standard that I will expect every time now :)
Loved this, G.
xoxo
--Sara
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for the great review, Sara. This one has folks a little divided. Want the 'mystery' explained. No bow with this one though! Much appreciated. G
Comment from Shirley McLain
Gil got what he deserved but I would have liked to known what happened to cause him to change. That's one of the downsides of Flash Fiction. You have to leave a lot of details out. You did a good job. Shirley
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
|
Gil got what he deserved but I would have liked to known what happened to cause him to change. That's one of the downsides of Flash Fiction. You have to leave a lot of details out. You did a good job. Shirley
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for the review. Sometimes you have to strip things out and sometimes it is just a mystery! LOL Much appreciated.
Comment from Ulla
Hi G, I somehow hate to give you four stars. I liked the story up to a point,and I certainly understand the pun or point of scales and scales of punishment. Gilbert got what he deserved, but, I don't know, the ending just falls rather flat. The idea of the story is good. Also I don't really know if the masturbation scene is necessary. As always I can't fault the writing. All the best. Ulla
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
 |
Hi G, I somehow hate to give you four stars. I liked the story up to a point,and I certainly understand the pun or point of scales and scales of punishment. Gilbert got what he deserved, but, I don't know, the ending just falls rather flat. The idea of the story is good. Also I don't really know if the masturbation scene is necessary. As always I can't fault the writing. All the best. Ulla
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for your honest response to this piece. it has somewhat divided reviewers. Two others have mentioned the masturbation section too. It is supposed to represent the getting caught. The sting is like the fish being hooked, and the relation to the sex act is akin to the feeling he gets when tormenting the fish / animals! Most people haven't gotten this I don't think.
Never worry about giving four stars. I regularly give four stars for pieces, and expect to get them back. It is fine as long as they are justifiable. Sometimes you can't put your finger on it, it just feels a bit flat which is how you felt with this one.
Always appreciate the honesty and the feedback. Thanks, Ulla. :}
-
Likewise, :) Ulla
Comment from I am Cat
Is this where I just simply say, 'good'?
yeah, he got what he deserved. lol
did I say that out loud?
yeah, i did, didn't I?
well told, G... very well told.
In that small space of time you managed
to have me happy to see a kid die on the bathroom floor.
well done.
I'm not a vindictive person, but... well, you did it.
LOL
well played.
I loved it.
Cat
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
|
Is this where I just simply say, 'good'?
yeah, he got what he deserved. lol
did I say that out loud?
yeah, i did, didn't I?
well told, G... very well told.
In that small space of time you managed
to have me happy to see a kid die on the bathroom floor.
well done.
I'm not a vindictive person, but... well, you did it.
LOL
well played.
I loved it.
Cat
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for the encouraging review of this tiny tale. Where is yours? LOL. Much appreciated. G
-
well... still working on it... but Dean and I had a convo tonight and he mentioned something that he was scared of... and so... i might have an idea! lol
Comment from sandragee
This is what is known as 'poetic justice'. Not sure what caused the transformation, but Gilbert's demise probably saved the untimely demise of Harold's tropical fish. 'He giggled.' I knew from that line that Gilbert was someone to be watched closely. Excellent fishing scene.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
|
This is what is known as 'poetic justice'. Not sure what caused the transformation, but Gilbert's demise probably saved the untimely demise of Harold's tropical fish. 'He giggled.' I knew from that line that Gilbert was someone to be watched closely. Excellent fishing scene.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for the great review. Gilbert would have grown to one nasty little man! Much appreciated. G
Comment from Spitfire
Gilbert (love the suggestion of gills here) has all the makings of a serial killer. Porn magazines for a start.
Crisp dialogue makes the bully come alive (no pun intended.) LOL
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
|
Gilbert (love the suggestion of gills here) has all the makings of a serial killer. Porn magazines for a start.
Crisp dialogue makes the bully come alive (no pun intended.) LOL
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for your response to this piece. I appreciate the feedback. G
Comment from IndianaIrish
A very unique and interesting short story for the book, G. You easily made me dislike Gilbert and enjoyed his flipping on the bathroom floor. The story flowed well, except for the master nation and bloody penis scene. You'd already mentioned he was planning a wank session, so I think it distracts from the story...just my take on it. I liked your play on words with the title referring to the fish and justice, and the use of Gil-Bert for his name. You're so clever!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
|
A very unique and interesting short story for the book, G. You easily made me dislike Gilbert and enjoyed his flipping on the bathroom floor. The story flowed well, except for the master nation and bloody penis scene. You'd already mentioned he was planning a wank session, so I think it distracts from the story...just my take on it. I liked your play on words with the title referring to the fish and justice, and the use of Gil-Bert for his name. You're so clever!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
-
Hi Karyn,
Many thanks for the review. you are the second person to mention the masturbation sequence. I had it in as a hook (literally) like being caught, but not many have caught that reference so it may be too oblique. I always appreciate the honesty.
G
Comment from Wabigoon
Gareth--
Well, I like this one better than the last one. I have to confess, however, that a part of me was a "little boy" with some of the Gilbert characteristics and knew others with more "snail and puppy dog tale (tail)" in them than me, so I am inclined to be a generous "god" to that part of the male (my) self, rather than vengeful. Which is one of my ongoing troubles with the horror genre -- it's so damned vengeful.
Anyway, this works and I certainly understand your motivation here. Could the unfortunate transformation Gilbert undergoes be a nightmare that scares that behavior out of him pretty much for good?
Jeff
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
 |
Gareth--
Well, I like this one better than the last one. I have to confess, however, that a part of me was a "little boy" with some of the Gilbert characteristics and knew others with more "snail and puppy dog tale (tail)" in them than me, so I am inclined to be a generous "god" to that part of the male (my) self, rather than vengeful. Which is one of my ongoing troubles with the horror genre -- it's so damned vengeful.
Anyway, this works and I certainly understand your motivation here. Could the unfortunate transformation Gilbert undergoes be a nightmare that scares that behavior out of him pretty much for good?
Jeff
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks for the great and thoughtful response Jeff. Always trying to stretch things out, and take things in a different way. Much appreciated, as always. G
Comment from Dean Kuch
Talk about feeling like a fish out of water--Ghastly Gilbert not only got to ponder that tried & true old saying, he actually lived it...or died it, as the case were. I guess the scales of justice were tipped in favor of Harold, Gil's younger brother, and all of those poor, defenseless animals he'd tortured and let die over the course of his young life.
Gil...an apropos nickname for him now, wouldn't you agree?
Great addition to the Tiny Tales, G-Man. Good dialogue between the two brothers, and an innovative and fresh idea. Fresh ideas are what breathes new life into the horror genre, a genre many believe has grown stale and passe over the years.
Not anymore...
~Dean ;}
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
|
Talk about feeling like a fish out of water--Ghastly Gilbert not only got to ponder that tried & true old saying, he actually lived it...or died it, as the case were. I guess the scales of justice were tipped in favor of Harold, Gil's younger brother, and all of those poor, defenseless animals he'd tortured and let die over the course of his young life.
Gil...an apropos nickname for him now, wouldn't you agree?
Great addition to the Tiny Tales, G-Man. Good dialogue between the two brothers, and an innovative and fresh idea. Fresh ideas are what breathes new life into the horror genre, a genre many believe has grown stale and passe over the years.
Not anymore...
~Dean ;}
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
-
Many thanks Dean,
I know the book had its detractors but there is great stuff in here from lots of writers. It was a great idea and gives a real sense of friendship and cooperation. That's what I think anyway!
Many thanks for the great review. Much appreciated, as always.
G
-
MY pleasure, G-man. :}
~Spooky