Yes You Can
Advise for someone to start believing46 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's heartbreaking the numbers of those who have been abused. Many more that most of us ever thought possible. Great job, and good luck. :-)
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It's heartbreaking the numbers of those who have been abused. Many more that most of us ever thought possible. Great job, and good luck. :-)
Comment Written 05-Nov-2015
Comment from jaho58
Very well done--strong and inspirational message.
Stayed true to rhyming scheme
Can't think of anything to improve it, though I would actually like more stanzas.
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Very well done--strong and inspirational message.
Stayed true to rhyming scheme
Can't think of anything to improve it, though I would actually like more stanzas.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mystery Poet
An excellent set of quatrains. You speak with clarity, simplicity and eloquence. Your rhythm and rhyme works to your credit, also the smooth flow created by well executed enjambment.
"I have walked where you have walked
and I have hated life
my feet have slipped from certainty
my heart has known deep strife" ---- Great opening, you've set the tone and the scene with well conceived phrasing.
"... to lift your mind from madness born
of bruised and broken bone" --- gets to the nitty gritty, where these thoughts have stemmed from.
" ... your problems will have endings
but the endings you must choose" -- I've enjoyed your wisdom here and how you've constructed your lines. A strong contest entry, one of the best I've read. Well done. I wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
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Hi Mystery Poet
An excellent set of quatrains. You speak with clarity, simplicity and eloquence. Your rhythm and rhyme works to your credit, also the smooth flow created by well executed enjambment.
"I have walked where you have walked
and I have hated life
my feet have slipped from certainty
my heart has known deep strife" ---- Great opening, you've set the tone and the scene with well conceived phrasing.
"... to lift your mind from madness born
of bruised and broken bone" --- gets to the nitty gritty, where these thoughts have stemmed from.
" ... your problems will have endings
but the endings you must choose" -- I've enjoyed your wisdom here and how you've constructed your lines. A strong contest entry, one of the best I've read. Well done. I wish you the best of luck. Warm Regards - Lovinia xoxo
Comment Written 03-Nov-2015
Comment from Suzie Q
Very well said! Great title. The way the world is today, inspiration is needed now more than ever and you provide that in a most beautiful creative way. Well done and good luck in the contest!
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Very well said! Great title. The way the world is today, inspiration is needed now more than ever and you provide that in a most beautiful creative way. Well done and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
Comment from kittykatnoel
Beautiful entry for the 'believe' contest. A lovely picture and a really nicely written poem. I will definitely visit the booth and vote for this one. Thank you for writing.
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Beautiful entry for the 'believe' contest. A lovely picture and a really nicely written poem. I will definitely visit the booth and vote for this one. Thank you for writing.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
Comment from Janet Foor
I too have walked where she has walked. It took many years, a bad marriage and many struggles before I began to believe. Excellent last stanza. Well done.
Blessings
Janet
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I too have walked where she has walked. It took many years, a bad marriage and many struggles before I began to believe. Excellent last stanza. Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
Comment from frogbook
Very affirming and uplifting. Takes us on a journey from the bad in life to what we can do about it. Beautifully worded and the rhyme was smooth and never forced. best of luck.
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Very affirming and uplifting. Takes us on a journey from the bad in life to what we can do about it. Beautifully worded and the rhyme was smooth and never forced. best of luck.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
Comment from ericawrites
This is a wonderful poem and a worthy entry to the contest.
I think you may well have a winner here.
~Well done and best wishes.
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This is a wonderful poem and a worthy entry to the contest.
I think you may well have a winner here.
~Well done and best wishes.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
Comment from mauial
I have walked where you have walked
and I have hated life
my feet have slipped from certainty
my heart has known deep strife
I loved that stanza the most in this poem. It's almost like what King Solomon wrote in the Bible book of Ecclesiastes.
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I have walked where you have walked
and I have hated life
my feet have slipped from certainty
my heart has known deep strife
I loved that stanza the most in this poem. It's almost like what King Solomon wrote in the Bible book of Ecclesiastes.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
Comment from TallySally
This reads easily, with smooth flow and effortless rhyming. Perfectly polished, but deep as torrential currents masked by a glassy river's surface. So many gut-hook lines but I'll just choose the last two lines of the third paragraph as my favorite.
Good luck.
Relda
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This reads easily, with smooth flow and effortless rhyming. Perfectly polished, but deep as torrential currents masked by a glassy river's surface. So many gut-hook lines but I'll just choose the last two lines of the third paragraph as my favorite.
Good luck.
Relda
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015