Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Humanity Project--Chapter 3--Hokee"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
26 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Padna.
I thought I pop in and have a quick read and then get back to my manok teil (Chicken feet) cooking. They sell faster than I can cook them, the ulo (heads) do as well. There's no meat on the things, but they're barato (Cheap.) lol.
"He felt his body lifted onto strong shoulders. Help had come at last... or had it?" (Nice transition... well played.)
"Isn't that what I'm supposed to ask you?" (Hahaha! )
"That's odd. I'm sure there's some company that can reach this far. It's not like we are on another planet." (Wanna bet?)
"All who live here have been discarded in one way or another." (So sad, but it toughens us up.)
"I need to know when I'm going home."
"You're not." (Crunch!)
Great chapter with a top lead in from the last one.
Ah, so he thinks he can just walk away huh? I think not. There were so many times and trials when I lived out there, when I wanted to just run, but it can't happen lol.
Great work, sis and I'll catch you on the next one.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
  |
G'day Padna.
I thought I pop in and have a quick read and then get back to my manok teil (Chicken feet) cooking. They sell faster than I can cook them, the ulo (heads) do as well. There's no meat on the things, but they're barato (Cheap.) lol.
"He felt his body lifted onto strong shoulders. Help had come at last... or had it?" (Nice transition... well played.)
"Isn't that what I'm supposed to ask you?" (Hahaha! )
"That's odd. I'm sure there's some company that can reach this far. It's not like we are on another planet." (Wanna bet?)
"All who live here have been discarded in one way or another." (So sad, but it toughens us up.)
"I need to know when I'm going home."
"You're not." (Crunch!)
Great chapter with a top lead in from the last one.
Ah, so he thinks he can just walk away huh? I think not. There were so many times and trials when I lived out there, when I wanted to just run, but it can't happen lol.
Great work, sis and I'll catch you on the next one.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
-
Hi, Padna,
Now they eat chicken feet around here, but the head, not so much. Glad you've got a business going with it. They must love you there!!
The newest chapter I wrote has everyone up in arms about having the escapees eat bugs. Can't wait for you to get to that part and give me more recipes to add to it. Have that squeamish people in FS land!!
I know I'm reading the reviews backwards, but I read them in the order they appeared instead of paying attention, and scrolling down.
Thanks for finding the errors and all. Easy fixes on most!!
Take care, brother,
Rhonda
Comment from boxergirl
Wow, what a great story, Rhonda. I had to play catch up and read the first two chapters. So glad I did. Can't wait to read more! :-)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016
|
Wow, what a great story, Rhonda. I had to play catch up and read the first two chapters. So glad I did. Can't wait to read more! :-)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016
-
Again, thank you for going back to read the earlier chapters!!
Thank you, especially, for the six stars!! They are always like a shot in the arm.
Take care, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from JTStone
Rhonda:
I guess you sort of bridge into this one from Part II with the interim passage. You kinda Rearder's Digested me. Your Cliff's notes did a fine job though.
I am really getting into this story. Love the name of the village, it gives a bit of foreshadow to the future of the tale.
Excellent use of dialog to bring me into the story quickly, with a better level of understanding of both the plot and the characters. I thought that was quite cleverly done.
One too many 'get' in the closing line. I'm sure that has been pointed out by now.
I'll read your next part today and be caught up.
Jimmy
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
 |
Rhonda:
I guess you sort of bridge into this one from Part II with the interim passage. You kinda Rearder's Digested me. Your Cliff's notes did a fine job though.
I am really getting into this story. Love the name of the village, it gives a bit of foreshadow to the future of the tale.
Excellent use of dialog to bring me into the story quickly, with a better level of understanding of both the plot and the characters. I thought that was quite cleverly done.
One too many 'get' in the closing line. I'm sure that has been pointed out by now.
I'll read your next part today and be caught up.
Jimmy
Comment Written 26-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2016
-
Thank you, Jimmy, and I'm reading your reviews backwards, lol. Yes, I got the "gets" caught up, but only in the next chapter. I need to go back and fix it in the chapter you just read.
Thanks so much for back reading, and for following. This one isn't such a "chick flick" as the Daredevil Girls!! Haha.
Again, I appreciate the time and consideration!!
Rhonda
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Waking up to find you have been rescued is an interesting concept.
Good characterizations used throughout the telling of this story.
Seems a lot of abandoning is happening in this storyline.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
|
Waking up to find you have been rescued is an interesting concept.
Good characterizations used throughout the telling of this story.
Seems a lot of abandoning is happening in this storyline.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
-
Thank you, Brett. Yes, it is rather disconcerting to wake up a prisoner. He's pretty resourceful a guy, but he's got a very long road ahead of him.
Thanks for reading and reviewing,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm glad Archie is going to be all right, but I am not so happy about his state of affairs. I am curious to see where you take us. I am sure it will be great.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
|
I'm glad Archie is going to be all right, but I am not so happy about his state of affairs. I am curious to see where you take us. I am sure it will be great.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
-
I pretty sure he's not too happy either, but he's a resilient young man. I'm sure he'll eventually think of something. But will it work???
Thanks for reviewing,
Rhonda
Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE
Hi, very intriguing Rhonda, I'm happy to have caught it. I feel I'm going to enjoy following Archie, and the mixture of science, history, philosophy, the super natural, and present space and politics. Thank you for sharing, Maureen*&*
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
|
Hi, very intriguing Rhonda, I'm happy to have caught it. I feel I'm going to enjoy following Archie, and the mixture of science, history, philosophy, the super natural, and present space and politics. Thank you for sharing, Maureen*&*
Comment Written 19-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
-
Thank you, Maureen!
I appreciate the supportive review, and I do hope you continue to read!
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda
-
Well! Today is a beautiful day to read, review, and feel nourished and ready to embrace my big, youngest brother in the early hours of tomorrow. Blessings, Maureen*&*
Comment from mfowler
Your chapter captures the uneasy nature of the place where Archie's ended up. The beautiful young woman who attends his needs and gives hime half and whole responses to his questions, leaves him with a confused vision of the village he imagines is his resting place. She abandons him for awhile, but Archie is smart enough to know well enough that he'll have work to do when he recovers.
A solid, building plot. It's nearly all dialogue and that works well so long as it's doing what you intend. Seems good to me. The story is now well set. I'm interested to see where you take this.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
|
Your chapter captures the uneasy nature of the place where Archie's ended up. The beautiful young woman who attends his needs and gives hime half and whole responses to his questions, leaves him with a confused vision of the village he imagines is his resting place. She abandons him for awhile, but Archie is smart enough to know well enough that he'll have work to do when he recovers.
A solid, building plot. It's nearly all dialogue and that works well so long as it's doing what you intend. Seems good to me. The story is now well set. I'm interested to see where you take this.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
-
Thank you for the review. I don't really intend to continue the dialogue being so dominant, and don't know why I did this with both books this time. I guess I was in a chatty mood.
Speaking of books... I'm wondering about Val.
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An interesting chapter after Archie's accident.
-I like the dialogue between Archie and Ayala. That is a pretty name.
-It would seem, at first, that Archie was in a hospital, but we find out further along that he isn't.
-It is also understandable he would want to contact his family, since his father is the President of the US, but that doesn't seem possible at the moment.
-He asks Ayala a lot of questions, but gets some general answers.
-It seems you are establishing this group of people who are all orphans, the "Abandoned ones."
-Archie, in turn, tells a little about his father when he and Ayala are speaking about rules. Apparently, his father follows rules, too, just "with his own particular style."
-It's interesting that this group of people has newspapers. It will be more interesting to find out more about them, too.
-I like Archie's determination to abandon them at the end, but I doubt that will happen any time soon.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
|
-An interesting chapter after Archie's accident.
-I like the dialogue between Archie and Ayala. That is a pretty name.
-It would seem, at first, that Archie was in a hospital, but we find out further along that he isn't.
-It is also understandable he would want to contact his family, since his father is the President of the US, but that doesn't seem possible at the moment.
-He asks Ayala a lot of questions, but gets some general answers.
-It seems you are establishing this group of people who are all orphans, the "Abandoned ones."
-Archie, in turn, tells a little about his father when he and Ayala are speaking about rules. Apparently, his father follows rules, too, just "with his own particular style."
-It's interesting that this group of people has newspapers. It will be more interesting to find out more about them, too.
-I like Archie's determination to abandon them at the end, but I doubt that will happen any time soon.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
-
Thank you for the wonderful rating!! That's very kind.
No, Archie isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
It was no mistake about the newspapers. There's a reason why she is privy to them. Purely academic, I assure you.
You'll also find they are far from abandoned, but one can often control and enslave hopeless people.
Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing! I spent a lot of time reviewing and editing on this chapter.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Rhonda
-
You are very welcome for the well deserved review and rating, Rhonda. Your efforts definitely paid off. Thanks for sharing about the story, and you have a great weekend, too.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda
Somehow, I think Archie isn't going anywhere
not anytime soon
Hokee, I must put that on my list of places to avoid
City of the Abandoned, great title
Excellent dialogue between Ayala and Archie
gives the reader the feeling that something is amiss
in this strange village of orphans with no last names
out in the desert of nowhere
(It's probably close to the secret Manhattan Project)
Of course, being with a young lady of "outstanding beauty,
with long auburn hair and soft brown eyes"
who happens to be a professor isn't too bad for young Archimedes
Excellent ending that leaves readers in suspense
Well done
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
|
Hello Rhonda
Somehow, I think Archie isn't going anywhere
not anytime soon
Hokee, I must put that on my list of places to avoid
City of the Abandoned, great title
Excellent dialogue between Ayala and Archie
gives the reader the feeling that something is amiss
in this strange village of orphans with no last names
out in the desert of nowhere
(It's probably close to the secret Manhattan Project)
Of course, being with a young lady of "outstanding beauty,
with long auburn hair and soft brown eyes"
who happens to be a professor isn't too bad for young Archimedes
Excellent ending that leaves readers in suspense
Well done
Comment Written 18-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
-
Thank you for the great and brilliantly shining review!
No, Archie's going to stick around a bit, but he is an ambitious young man.
As you said, though, there is the matter of the powerful and pretty Ayala, and he is a guy! Haha.
Thank you for the stars and shining review,
Rhonda
Comment from Douglas Paul
I wish I had enough talent to write novels. I am always impressed those of you who can. This story is really drawing me in. Well done, my friend. Your writing flows smoothly and I see no errors. No 6's left or would give you one for this.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
|
I wish I had enough talent to write novels. I am always impressed those of you who can. This story is really drawing me in. Well done, my friend. Your writing flows smoothly and I see no errors. No 6's left or would give you one for this.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
-
Thank you, Douglas!! I appreciate the review, and the virtual 6. I was out of them pretty early this week, too.
I'm glad it's working for you. The reason I write novels is because I write as I talk...way too much. haha.
Have a great weekend,
Rhonda