Thoughts About Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "In Sickness and in Health?"My Collection of Love Poetry
9 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. It is sad when two people who made the same vow, but only one has to perform and keeps the vow while the other can break it whenever it suits him/her.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2018
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A very well-written poem. It is sad when two people who made the same vow, but only one has to perform and keeps the vow while the other can break it whenever it suits him/her.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2018
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Yes it is! Most men don?t seem able to be good caretakers ( or so I?m told ) but I find it very hurtfull to be cast aside through no fault of mine. Thank you very much for your kind review.
Hugs, Trisha
Comment from Badger_29
Well written, I love this as it speaks of personal things and your life and helps me understand you greater.
This line is my favorite, because you think you're going to say up the wall but instead it says up a tree-
He is reluctant, often opposed
To do things every day you see
He says I'm a pain to deal with
it just "drives him up a tree"
I did find one typo in the very last line I will copy and paste and then show you the correction.
Such lack of his appreciation
Of my carer years of family
(career)
noun:
an occupation or profession, especially one requiring special training, followed as one's lifework:
Blessings,
Brother Badger
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2018
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Well written, I love this as it speaks of personal things and your life and helps me understand you greater.
This line is my favorite, because you think you're going to say up the wall but instead it says up a tree-
He is reluctant, often opposed
To do things every day you see
He says I'm a pain to deal with
it just "drives him up a tree"
I did find one typo in the very last line I will copy and paste and then show you the correction.
Such lack of his appreciation
Of my carer years of family
(career)
noun:
an occupation or profession, especially one requiring special training, followed as one's lifework:
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2018
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Wow, BB! You made my situation feel a little better with your stars! I decided to purge because I am NOT even at a very bad stage ,yet..No one expects to be cast aside, but it happens often. I wanted to say I was the person who took care of my fanily. My career was teaching special needs kids,.
Hugs, Trisha
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I sympathise, and not all marriages of 5o years are happy and I suspect he doesn't know how lucky he is, but your focus should be more on yourself than him, enjoy what you have and turn the tables so that you get out of life what YOU want, best of luck, your poem is profound, well rhymed and sad, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I sympathise, and not all marriages of 5o years are happy and I suspect he doesn't know how lucky he is, but your focus should be more on yourself than him, enjoy what you have and turn the tables so that you get out of life what YOU want, best of luck, your poem is profound, well rhymed and sad, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Good friendly review advise, thank you, Dolly.
Hugs, Trisha
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Trisha,
You have expressed yourself and the situation very well within the lines of your poem. Your artwork is the perfect compliment to the poem. I only wish I had a sixth star for this well-presented piece,
~patty~
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Hi, Trisha,
You have expressed yourself and the situation very well within the lines of your poem. Your artwork is the perfect compliment to the poem. I only wish I had a sixth star for this well-presented piece,
~patty~
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thanks Patty, I?m just glad I have poetry to drown my hurt.
Comment from Katya
You got venting about a difficult situation pretty well encapsulated in meter and rhyme--an admirable accomplishment.
About the content? I am sorry you are hurt and sad. Caretaking isn't for everyone--if it isn't for him, it isn't. That's HIS deficiency, not yours. Feeling entitled to receive from him what he hasn't got to give won't help you or him or the situation or your marriage. But you don't have to be warehoused--surely there is there some alternative. Living with a relative or friend? In a group situation of YOUR choosing? Alone, with home health aides, as long as you can make it? Since you have Parkinson's, not dementia, you can take charge of your life and construct a situation for yourself that will meet your needs. [One of which seems to be, quite understandably, actual human companionship rather than silently watching you partner watch TV.]
Nevertheless, you can't turn your husband into a person who will meet this or any other challenge in just the way you have it scripted for him. In my experience of relationships, that's actually a blessing. Often a very inconvenient one.
I feel qualified to speak to you like this because my dear husband Dave died of MS at age 53 after 30 years of marriage. At the time he died, he could move his head, his back, and his left arm. He lived alone. I cooked his meals, and came over twice a day and fed him with a spoon. He had aides to get him out of bed in the morning and set him up at night, and other friends and relations who dropped in to visit, and were available to help with shopping and other things. That's what worked for us. He had initially assumed I would do all the caretaking. I tried, became a hopeless drunk, then sobered up and realized if I even tried to do it, it would destroy my life. Our relationship in the last five years of his life, despite the horrors of his physical condition, was deeply satisfying and very happy. Not least because we had actually worked through what we needed to of these thorny issues of entitlement and dependency.
Every couple is different, and everyone has their own story. My suggestion is that you quit wasting time trying to fit you and your spouse into some mold of expectations, and just deal with what you have to deal with with all the honesty, courage, and love you can muster. Knowing some days will be good, and some bad. Good luck.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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You got venting about a difficult situation pretty well encapsulated in meter and rhyme--an admirable accomplishment.
About the content? I am sorry you are hurt and sad. Caretaking isn't for everyone--if it isn't for him, it isn't. That's HIS deficiency, not yours. Feeling entitled to receive from him what he hasn't got to give won't help you or him or the situation or your marriage. But you don't have to be warehoused--surely there is there some alternative. Living with a relative or friend? In a group situation of YOUR choosing? Alone, with home health aides, as long as you can make it? Since you have Parkinson's, not dementia, you can take charge of your life and construct a situation for yourself that will meet your needs. [One of which seems to be, quite understandably, actual human companionship rather than silently watching you partner watch TV.]
Nevertheless, you can't turn your husband into a person who will meet this or any other challenge in just the way you have it scripted for him. In my experience of relationships, that's actually a blessing. Often a very inconvenient one.
I feel qualified to speak to you like this because my dear husband Dave died of MS at age 53 after 30 years of marriage. At the time he died, he could move his head, his back, and his left arm. He lived alone. I cooked his meals, and came over twice a day and fed him with a spoon. He had aides to get him out of bed in the morning and set him up at night, and other friends and relations who dropped in to visit, and were available to help with shopping and other things. That's what worked for us. He had initially assumed I would do all the caretaking. I tried, became a hopeless drunk, then sobered up and realized if I even tried to do it, it would destroy my life. Our relationship in the last five years of his life, despite the horrors of his physical condition, was deeply satisfying and very happy. Not least because we had actually worked through what we needed to of these thorny issues of entitlement and dependency.
Every couple is different, and everyone has their own story. My suggestion is that you quit wasting time trying to fit you and your spouse into some mold of expectations, and just deal with what you have to deal with with all the honesty, courage, and love you can muster. Knowing some days will be good, and some bad. Good luck.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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Katya, I feel very honored that you took the time to be honest, yet helpful, for my situation. I will digest your suggestion ot length. You?re a stranger, so to speak, but with a caring warm opinion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Hugs, Trisha
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I am so glad you took my remarks in the spirit they were intended. I was afraid you might feel hurt. Any time you want to talk with me about your situation, feel free to use my personal email pyrokath@gmail.com.
Comment from Nanny 6
This is so sad, but you are speaking the truth. It is sad and hurtful when you need someone the most, in a crisis, that they seem to abandon you. Life is tough and brings many challenges, very few people, it seems, face them head on with empathy and love. Your poem is well very well written.
Judy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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This is so sad, but you are speaking the truth. It is sad and hurtful when you need someone the most, in a crisis, that they seem to abandon you. Life is tough and brings many challenges, very few people, it seems, face them head on with empathy and love. Your poem is well very well written.
Judy
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2018
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Thank you Nanny, for your understanding and complimentary review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job expressing your thoughts & feelings Bucketlist about your dilemma. The presentation is great--the picture, the color scheme, the rhymes, the smooth flow of lines, & your message. Thanks for sharing. I care. Jan
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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You did a great job expressing your thoughts & feelings Bucketlist about your dilemma. The presentation is great--the picture, the color scheme, the rhymes, the smooth flow of lines, & your message. Thanks for sharing. I care. Jan
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Health is also undermined by stifling feelings.. I am past that point, and purging through writing is a great way. Thank you so much for your carding review.
Hugs, Trisha
Comment from Donka Kristeva
Very ingenious way to "deal" with a disease of our time. The poem is original, interesting at every line, funny in its own way, and brilliantly written.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Very ingenious way to "deal" with a disease of our time. The poem is original, interesting at every line, funny in its own way, and brilliantly written.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Thank you so much, Donka for your kind review .
Comment from meeshu
I can't help but feel bad for you, Bucket, I will give you a lot of credit for the way you put it right out there. and in such a reserved and quality write. Soldier On is all I can say........meeshu
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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I can't help but feel bad for you, Bucket, I will give you a lot of credit for the way you put it right out there. and in such a reserved and quality write. Soldier On is all I can say........meeshu
Comment Written 12-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2018
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Thanks so much meeshu, it helps to purge . I shall soldier on, I?m a fighting trooper!
Thanks for your understanding review
Hug, Trisha