Cloud Shadows
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Totem Creatures"An Anthology of Poetry
38 total reviews
Comment from judester
This is a compassionate poem. Yes, the cruelty of man to all these beautiful,clever and cosmic animals we share this space with, is heartbreaking.
My husband and I are working on elephant poaching in Africa. To realize the intelligence and awareness of elephants, yet they are killed senselessly, merely for the tusks.
We are back in Canada after 20 years in Tanzania and I wanted to make a snow sculpture of an elephant. The trunk and tusks made it hard (the tusks were icicles from the roof)
Anywaaay, the elephant collapsed and from his remains will rise the crouching polar bear! My new totem... until spring. Cheers, judester.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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This is a compassionate poem. Yes, the cruelty of man to all these beautiful,clever and cosmic animals we share this space with, is heartbreaking.
My husband and I are working on elephant poaching in Africa. To realize the intelligence and awareness of elephants, yet they are killed senselessly, merely for the tusks.
We are back in Canada after 20 years in Tanzania and I wanted to make a snow sculpture of an elephant. The trunk and tusks made it hard (the tusks were icicles from the roof)
Anywaaay, the elephant collapsed and from his remains will rise the crouching polar bear! My new totem... until spring. Cheers, judester.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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Dear Judester, thank you for your review and the five stars. It is an honour and a privilege to have my poem commented on by some one who works so hard for animal conservation. There is definitely a message in there somewhere for you if you think about it. Elephants have been your main focus for two decades, but now you may change it to Polar Bears.Never mind if your snow elephant collapsed, you have all winter long to build another one.Thanks again cheers Cass
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Thanks for the thoughtful response. Maybe by spring I will have a whole menagerie outside my window. Cheers, j
Comment from Rickie1
Cass
You make the point that man is a creature but that may remember his nature and o doesn't do anything about. If only he was more in tough with his animal nature maybe nature and all the other animals would be better off. Nice poem.
Rickie
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2018
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Cass
You make the point that man is a creature but that may remember his nature and o doesn't do anything about. If only he was more in tough with his animal nature maybe nature and all the other animals would be better off. Nice poem.
Rickie
Comment Written 01-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2018
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Dear Rickie 1, Thank you for your review and the five stars. You raise a point I had not hitherto considered. That if Man tries to understand the ways of wild creatures he may develop a sense of comradeship with them and be more understanding and compassionate. It is a lovely thought, but, I fear, a vain hope. Still, if every one tried to do this, even for a day (an hour??) (five minutes??) it would make a difference. From little things big things grow. Thanks for your input, it offers an interesting Point of view. cheers Cass
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There will always be a few, too few but the lucky few, in touch with nature. I remain optimistic that it time, and who knows how long that will be, man will wise up to natures level. Peace
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Totem Creatures", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2018
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"Totem Creatures", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2018
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Dear Your Grace, Thank you for your review and the five stars. Your comments are as generous as they are welcome and I deeply appreciate them. I will keep writing (like I will keep breathing) and hopefully improve as I go. My next post will be a little while yet, but it will happen, eventually. I am hoping to branch out into longer works of prose like short stories, so that might be what comes next. Time will tell Thanks again my dear Duchess, it's a pleasure to hear from you cheers Cass
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Dear Cass,
You're more than welcome. I apologise for the lack of a star, but we aren't given enough of them!
Short stories are wonderful to write. :))))
Take care, God bless you and have a Happy, Holy and Safe Christmas,
the Duchess
Comment from patsolstad
This is a beautiful and haunting poem. I love the repetition of 'remember,' and it is rather like a 'pounding' in driving the point home. A couple of questions: Why did you use a comma after 'owls' and not after 'wolves?' I noticed, too, some inconsistencies in use of periods. Maybe this was intentional...Excellent work.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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This is a beautiful and haunting poem. I love the repetition of 'remember,' and it is rather like a 'pounding' in driving the point home. A couple of questions: Why did you use a comma after 'owls' and not after 'wolves?' I noticed, too, some inconsistencies in use of periods. Maybe this was intentional...Excellent work.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear Friend, Thank you for your review and the five stars. After reading your comments on punctuation I went back to have another look . By golly you're right. I have changed a couple of things which now make more of an impact. We are never too old to learn are we? Thanks for your input , cheers Cass
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You are so welcome, Cass!
Comment from annh
I like very much the sentiments expressed in your poem and your referencing of animal archetypes. The return in the final line of each stanza to the word 'remember' and the subtle variation you create between these lines through your choice of preposition and tense is very effective. Well done! :)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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I like very much the sentiments expressed in your poem and your referencing of animal archetypes. The return in the final line of each stanza to the word 'remember' and the subtle variation you create between these lines through your choice of preposition and tense is very effective. Well done! :)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear Annh, Thank you for your review and the five stars.This poem was written late at night after a day of thinking about animals.
The animals in this poem are dear to me although we don't have wolves in Australia We do have wild dogs or Dingoes which are savage predators on sheep an other domesticated creatures. We do have eagles and owls, both of which mate for life and are ferocious protectors of their young. They inspire me with their wisdom and courage. cheers Cass
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Cass!
How I enjoyed and appreciated this poetic offering! Congratulations on your placing in the contest. But more importantly, I appreciate the symbiotic union that you express in your poem between man and nature... a union that man has often abused and taken for granted. The final line in each stanza is haunting. Very effective!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Hello Cass!
How I enjoyed and appreciated this poetic offering! Congratulations on your placing in the contest. But more importantly, I appreciate the symbiotic union that you express in your poem between man and nature... a union that man has often abused and taken for granted. The final line in each stanza is haunting. Very effective!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear Diane, thank you for your review and the five stars.And thank you also for your congratulations.The poem was written late at night after a day thinking about animals. It wasn't until the next morning when I read what I had written that I knew I had an entry for this contest. The conservation aspect of this piece has been commented upon by every person who has reviewed it, so I am well pleased with the response. cheers Cass
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I loved your poem...and I voted for you!
:)
Comment from CD Richards
Sadly, man's cruelty is not limited to wild creatures only. The way he treats domesticated creatures for his own amusement is appalling as well. I'm with you on this, and I think the approach you've taken is excellent. Wouldn't it be fun to be an owl, an eagle or a wolf for a day, providing of course one didn't have to come into contact with humans? Very good job, best of luck in the contest. Craig
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Sadly, man's cruelty is not limited to wild creatures only. The way he treats domesticated creatures for his own amusement is appalling as well. I'm with you on this, and I think the approach you've taken is excellent. Wouldn't it be fun to be an owl, an eagle or a wolf for a day, providing of course one didn't have to come into contact with humans? Very good job, best of luck in the contest. Craig
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear Craig, Thank you for your review and the five stars. Yes it would be fun to take shape as an animal or a bird. When I was young I used to imagine myself prowling the dark streets like a wolf or flying high above the city like an eagle. My special treat was to "be" an owl. Then I would "sit" in the tallest tree I could find and watch the world go by in a hurry while I sat in lonely majesty, high above. It was great fun for an isolated child, and good practice in imagination for my writing. I agree that Man hasn't restricted his attentions to wild animals. No indeed. but let's not go there this time. cheers Cass
Comment from Impromptu Scribe
A great entry for 'No Restrictions'. This is a beautiful portrayal of the eternal struggle between man and nature. You manage to communicate succinctly both his arrogance and blind determination to dominate anything and everything, and imply that it will also be his undoing. You have expertly captured the key characteristics of each of the three wild 'spirit' beings, thus underlining further, the conflict between modern man and his god Mammon, with the ancient wisdom of the elders. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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A great entry for 'No Restrictions'. This is a beautiful portrayal of the eternal struggle between man and nature. You manage to communicate succinctly both his arrogance and blind determination to dominate anything and everything, and imply that it will also be his undoing. You have expertly captured the key characteristics of each of the three wild 'spirit' beings, thus underlining further, the conflict between modern man and his god Mammon, with the ancient wisdom of the elders. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the five stars. Your comments on the poem's contents and message show your passion for the protection of wild animals and the conservation of their habitat. Hail fellow and well met!! The poem was written late at night after a day thinking about animals and it wasn't until the next morning I realized I had an entry for this contest .
It has been well received and so I am very pleased and thankful for the positive response from my fellow FanStorians.
cheers Cass
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You are very welcome :) Best wishes
Comment from Pantygynt
The development, the pattern of the lines is the unity of this poem, and it is good to see. If the absence of end rhyme and metre is what defines free verse then this is free verse, but I would prefer to call it a non rhyming poem for the pattern you have selected gives it a particular form that is quite rigid and appropriately so as it charts its course through the different species to reach its conclusion where its message for man comes over loud and clear.
Given the freedom of choice permitted by this contest this is well chosen and splendidly executed.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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The development, the pattern of the lines is the unity of this poem, and it is good to see. If the absence of end rhyme and metre is what defines free verse then this is free verse, but I would prefer to call it a non rhyming poem for the pattern you have selected gives it a particular form that is quite rigid and appropriately so as it charts its course through the different species to reach its conclusion where its message for man comes over loud and clear.
Given the freedom of choice permitted by this contest this is well chosen and splendidly executed.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear, Pantygynt, Thank you for your review and the awesome SIX stars. This poem was written late at night after a day thinking about animals. It wasn't until the next morning when I read what I had written the night before that I realized I had an entry for this contest. It often happens that way with me. I'll just put down some words that come to me and then "WHAMMO!"
It takes off and next thing there is a piece of writing before me I barely recognize. That's inspiration at work I guess.It doesn't happen that way very often, but when it does it's a roller coaster ride to get it all down before it fades away. That's our "lot"as poets and writers isn't it? cheers Cass
Comment from Insider98
Excellent piece with a great message! They remember what man has done and they are waiting for they day for them to pay. For now, they only remember. Great job!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Excellent piece with a great message! They remember what man has done and they are waiting for they day for them to pay. For now, they only remember. Great job!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2018
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Dear Friend, thank you for your review and the five stars. the conservation message in this piece has been picked up and remarked upon by every person who has reviewed it. It is such a blessing to have one's words resound so clearly with fellow writers. Your comments are generous and welcome. thanks again cheers Cass