Residue.
Enveloped by sadness.10 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This 3-5-3, Residue, has the proper formatting and gives a name to that lingering sense of defeat and humiliation that a bad affair tends to leave behind.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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This 3-5-3, Residue, has the proper formatting and gives a name to that lingering sense of defeat and humiliation that a bad affair tends to leave behind.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Bill.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
The term, "Devil's Dust" is a powerful one to convey the emotion of a difficult relationship gone bad, as is the title, "Residue." A solid and well-written poem and contest entry. Great luck to you.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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The term, "Devil's Dust" is a powerful one to convey the emotion of a difficult relationship gone bad, as is the title, "Residue." A solid and well-written poem and contest entry. Great luck to you.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you, Cindy.
Comment from rama devi
Expressive. You do well with the brevity of these forms. Fine presentaiton too. My only suggestion (optional) is not to cap the word of in line two, since there is enjambment between the first two lines. Good luck in the contest. Warm welcome to FS
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Expressive. You do well with the brevity of these forms. Fine presentaiton too. My only suggestion (optional) is not to cap the word of in line two, since there is enjambment between the first two lines. Good luck in the contest. Warm welcome to FS
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Ravi, I'm new to the form and appreciate the suggestion!
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Happy to help! :)
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is clever. I am assuming that the devil of a lover left her in the dust. Like I said, that residue metaphor is interesting. This is a good post. It's hard to create something original in 11 syllables. Good job.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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This is clever. I am assuming that the devil of a lover left her in the dust. Like I said, that residue metaphor is interesting. This is a good post. It's hard to create something original in 11 syllables. Good job.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Many thanks, Debbie!
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good use of alliteration in your final line, Anonymous Poet.
This is a hard-hitting poem that manages to denounce spousal and child abuse in very few words.
Not an easy thing to do, and yet, you've done it here quite well.
Best wishes to you in the 3-5-3 contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Good use of alliteration in your final line, Anonymous Poet.
This is a hard-hitting poem that manages to denounce spousal and child abuse in very few words.
Not an easy thing to do, and yet, you've done it here quite well.
Best wishes to you in the 3-5-3 contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for the kind review, Dean!
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You're very welcome. ... :}
Comment from kiwijenny
Aw ...devils dust and if you are older devil's rust...if it's a girl devil's bust....ooooo and then there's devil's lust.....sorry I digress. I am adhd... sorry. I like d this...short and not sweet
Well penned
God bless
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Aw ...devils dust and if you are older devil's rust...if it's a girl devil's bust....ooooo and then there's devil's lust.....sorry I digress. I am adhd... sorry. I like d this...short and not sweet
Well penned
God bless
Comment Written 15-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Hey Kiwi, I welcome your digression! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
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You?re welcome..or as I usually say you?re welk
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Mystery Author,
A very well done contest entry you have crafted in this one. And a salient topic.
Thank you for heightening awareness about this issue and best of luck in the voting booth.
Jan
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Hi Mystery Author,
A very well done contest entry you have crafted in this one. And a salient topic.
Thank you for heightening awareness about this issue and best of luck in the voting booth.
Jan
Comment Written 15-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Jan, I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from victor 66
"Cruel Love", would that be an oxymoron? The definition of Cruel: willfully or knowingly causing pain or distress to others. Enjoying the pain or distress of others.
Causing or marked by great pain or distress: a cruel remark; a cruel affliction.
rigid; stern; strict; unrelentingly severe. NOPE, no love mentioned here. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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"Cruel Love", would that be an oxymoron? The definition of Cruel: willfully or knowingly causing pain or distress to others. Enjoying the pain or distress of others.
Causing or marked by great pain or distress: a cruel remark; a cruel affliction.
rigid; stern; strict; unrelentingly severe. NOPE, no love mentioned here. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Fortunately for poets, love transcends/defies/obliterates textbook definition. Thanks, Victor.
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Giving this a second thought, to love someone who doesn't love you back, is "cruel love". I just used the dictionary to find something to respond. Of course, you're right.
Comment from trimple
Good evening to you, mystery author.
Mmmm... This short poem of yours has the hallmark of a great film...
The victim becomes the aggressor. Thoughtful write, poet.
kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Good evening to you, mystery author.
Mmmm... This short poem of yours has the hallmark of a great film...
The victim becomes the aggressor. Thoughtful write, poet.
kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 15-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Hi Trimple, thanks for weighing in!
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:)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow -- so very thought-provoking and almost sinister in its wording ... your offering is devastatingly powerful with so much left unsaid. I would suggest, perhaps, removing the 'periods' as they are not necessary in this short format. :) ;) Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Wow -- so very thought-provoking and almost sinister in its wording ... your offering is devastatingly powerful with so much left unsaid. I would suggest, perhaps, removing the 'periods' as they are not necessary in this short format. :) ;) Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;)
Comment Written 15-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Y.M., new to poetry and took your advice!
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Hooray! ;) Glad I could help...good luck! ;) ;)