The Discarded Swing
A sad state of affairs19 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
So true and a clarion call to all parents and grandparents. I can see how this won and not sure how I missed this. Fantastic message, dear Debbie!
All my best,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
  |
So true and a clarion call to all parents and grandparents. I can see how this won and not sure how I missed this. Fantastic message, dear Debbie!
All my best,
Sal xo
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
-
Thank you for your kind review, Sally.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
This is terrific, Debbie! Congrats on your well deserved win. Great alliteration with "swings sit still", and clever to use "lured away", as sometimes children are lured away by those wishing to harm them. In this instance they are lured away by computer video games. Your 3-5-3 tells it like it is in today's society, with children preferring their video games over playing outdoors. A "sad state of affairs" indeed!
Great job on this!
Hugs,
Connie
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
 |
This is terrific, Debbie! Congrats on your well deserved win. Great alliteration with "swings sit still", and clever to use "lured away", as sometimes children are lured away by those wishing to harm them. In this instance they are lured away by computer video games. Your 3-5-3 tells it like it is in today's society, with children preferring their video games over playing outdoors. A "sad state of affairs" indeed!
Great job on this!
Hugs,
Connie
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
-
Thanks again, Connie. It was hard to make this one pop. You noticed everything that I was able to do.
Comment from elmorose
This is a well deserved win for this poem. What a sad commentary on life today, and what a lonely life for those alone indoors staring at their screens. It isn't just nostalgia that makes me feel that life was so much better growing up in the 50's and 60's.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
|
This is a well deserved win for this poem. What a sad commentary on life today, and what a lonely life for those alone indoors staring at their screens. It isn't just nostalgia that makes me feel that life was so much better growing up in the 50's and 60's.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
-
Thank you for the review and congratulations. Growing up in the 50's, I would not have imagined the changes that have occurred. Now, I can't imagine what will happen in the next thirty years. I have grandchildren. I pray the changes will be good.
Comment from HarryT
Unfortunately, so true. But I wonder would not an empty swing sway in the breeze, if there was one. Nice pic to go with with the poem, Like your color selection.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
|
Unfortunately, so true. But I wonder would not an empty swing sway in the breeze, if there was one. Nice pic to go with with the poem, Like your color selection.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
-
Thank you, Harry. The photo drew me in and caused me to write the poem.
-
A wonderful way to write. Picture are a great source for creative thoughts.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 3-5-3, The Discarded Swing, has the proper formatting and tells it like it is. I think your title might better reflect what you mean if it were 'The Disregarded Swing'.
Happy Day.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
|
This 3-5-3, The Discarded Swing, has the proper formatting and tells it like it is. I think your title might better reflect what you mean if it were 'The Disregarded Swing'.
Happy Day.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
-
I like that, Bill. I went through so many adjectives--lonely, empty, solitary (which I almost picked for a little alliteration). I thought of the Velveteen Rabbit being discarded as the child grew up. That's why I went with it. I'm glad that I did not think of disregarded. It would have made my decision harder and I hate making decisions. You are right though. The swing was not discarded by the children. It was never picked up.
Thanks for the review. It was good to hear from you.
Comment from BeasPeas
Outstanding 3-5-3. Best of luck in the contest with this terrific write. So true. Our childhood was so much different from the kids of today. I always liked to swing. Marilyn
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
Outstanding 3-5-3. Best of luck in the contest with this terrific write. So true. Our childhood was so much different from the kids of today. I always liked to swing. Marilyn
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
Thank you, Marilyn. Swings are magical. Kids don't know what they are missing.
-
I agree, Debbie. I still like to swing as an adult. :)
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This a very poignant poem for we who have sat in swings. This reminds me of an ad on TV which gave me hope and excited to be dashed when the ad ended. It was a young boy running through the neighborhood telling everyone "He's going to do it". All the kids came running out of their houses with no phones or any technology. I thought could it be that everyone is going outside to watch an outside event? I was kind of excited. Well, it turned out to be something some kid was going to do on some technological game. So everyone was piling into someone house. What a disappointment. How silly of me to think there would be any other outcome. This poem says it well. Hopefully, the reader will heed your cautionary tale. This is well thought out. I have to give you a 6/ A+.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
This a very poignant poem for we who have sat in swings. This reminds me of an ad on TV which gave me hope and excited to be dashed when the ad ended. It was a young boy running through the neighborhood telling everyone "He's going to do it". All the kids came running out of their houses with no phones or any technology. I thought could it be that everyone is going outside to watch an outside event? I was kind of excited. Well, it turned out to be something some kid was going to do on some technological game. So everyone was piling into someone house. What a disappointment. How silly of me to think there would be any other outcome. This poem says it well. Hopefully, the reader will heed your cautionary tale. This is well thought out. I have to give you a 6/ A+.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
What a wonderful review, Liz. I have seen that ad, and I felt exactly the same way. I watched children at an after school program last year. Part of the schedule was to go outside, then to the computer lab. When we were outside, all the kids wanted to do was go inside to the computer lab. Or, they brought their iPads and sat playing in the school doorway where there was internet.
Swings have lost their appeal.
Thank you so much for your praise of my poem.
-
I mean friend
Comment from l.raven
you aren't kidding...it is awful what these kids are doing today...they never go outside...and they are going to be the as dumb as stumps...no need to learn how to spell...just push a button ...and the correct spelling pops up...why learn to spell...they don't write anymore...it's all typing...this is crazy...now there are some parents that take a stand...not letting their kids live on those things...but most think it's great...now we don't have to acknowledge they are there...very well written poem...and your picture says it all...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
you aren't kidding...it is awful what these kids are doing today...they never go outside...and they are going to be the as dumb as stumps...no need to learn how to spell...just push a button ...and the correct spelling pops up...why learn to spell...they don't write anymore...it's all typing...this is crazy...now there are some parents that take a stand...not letting their kids live on those things...but most think it's great...now we don't have to acknowledge they are there...very well written poem...and your picture says it all...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
Thank you for your support, Linda. It is a shame. It's a lot worse that television because it's a solitary activity that consumes all of their interest and time. Who knows what damage it does, if any, but all that technology requires that they give up so much that is good in this world--like swings.
-
I so agree with you....and you are sooo welcome...love xxoo
Comment from Dean Kuch
No truer words have been spoken, Anonymous Poet.
When I was a kid, more often than not my parents had to come looking for me to tell me to get inside and wash up for dinner or whatever. Heck, I didn't wanna go inside--I was having too much fun outdoors playing with my friends.
We even went as far as sneaking drinks from the garden hoses of people in the neighborhood so we wouldn't have to go inside to get water.
Now, kids have PlayStations and Xboxes, tablets, smartphones and PCs. Not to mention cartoons that are on certain channels 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Craziness!
Best of luck to you in the 3-5-3 contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
No truer words have been spoken, Anonymous Poet.
When I was a kid, more often than not my parents had to come looking for me to tell me to get inside and wash up for dinner or whatever. Heck, I didn't wanna go inside--I was having too much fun outdoors playing with my friends.
We even went as far as sneaking drinks from the garden hoses of people in the neighborhood so we wouldn't have to go inside to get water.
Now, kids have PlayStations and Xboxes, tablets, smartphones and PCs. Not to mention cartoons that are on certain channels 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Craziness!
Best of luck to you in the 3-5-3 contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
Thanks, Dean. Kids are constantly entertained with no effort on their part. It's sad.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from LisaMay
You have put the spotlight on the problem of the times... sedentary children obsessed with devices who know zilch about the real world "out there". Such a shame that the simple pleasures of childhood have been replaced by artificial intelligence.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
|
You have put the spotlight on the problem of the times... sedentary children obsessed with devices who know zilch about the real world "out there". Such a shame that the simple pleasures of childhood have been replaced by artificial intelligence.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
-
Your review is spot on. Even my two year old grandson prefers his iPad over his swing. It's no contest. Computer wins every time.
-
It's a worry all right. i bet there is a huge fuss by your grandson if the computer is removed.