Smell Like Betrayal
5/7/5 Senryu For Contest8 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We read all sorts of feelings into the scenes that seem to leave a trail of dead things and your words are poignant here as those dying flowers represent a failed relationship, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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We read all sorts of feelings into the scenes that seem to leave a trail of dead things and your words are poignant here as those dying flowers represent a failed relationship, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-May-2020
reply by the author on 22-May-2020
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful review. Good night :)
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, this is funny. Flowers given unexpectedly do often speak to some other kind of expression and betrayal might be just the thing.
Excellent job and I wish you much luck in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Ha, this is funny. Flowers given unexpectedly do often speak to some other kind of expression and betrayal might be just the thing.
Excellent job and I wish you much luck in the voting booth. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 21-May-2020
reply by the author on 21-May-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from Mary Furlong
Wow! You sum up the story of an entire relationship thirteen words. Thirteen isn't unlucky this time. Good job with a tricky form. And good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Wow! You sum up the story of an entire relationship thirteen words. Thirteen isn't unlucky this time. Good job with a tricky form. And good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Comment from rspoet
You've written an excellent 5-7-5 poem for the senyru contest.
Emotion certainly applies in a situation of betrayal.
Excellent imagery in the wilting flower.
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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You've written an excellent 5-7-5 poem for the senyru contest.
Emotion certainly applies in a situation of betrayal.
Excellent imagery in the wilting flower.
Nicely done
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you very much, Robert, always a pleasure to hear from you.
Comment from smileycloud
I love Senryu
it is so expressively emotional
short but power packed
this one is no exception to that
and yep
flowers and chocolates are not always a loving gift
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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I love Senryu
it is so expressively emotional
short but power packed
this one is no exception to that
and yep
flowers and chocolates are not always a loving gift
have a smiley day
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you very much.
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello,
Smell Like Betrayal is a well written 5/7/5 Senryu. First, I like the dead smelly flower in the vase for you imagery which reflects your message and the title. Your message is clear that the last time you saw this person, those flowers smelled like a betrayal of love. It's an intuition or feeling we get when we know we been lied to or cheated on. Nice senryu. Well done. Thanks and happy writing.
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Hello,
Smell Like Betrayal is a well written 5/7/5 Senryu. First, I like the dead smelly flower in the vase for you imagery which reflects your message and the title. Your message is clear that the last time you saw this person, those flowers smelled like a betrayal of love. It's an intuition or feeling we get when we know we been lied to or cheated on. Nice senryu. Well done. Thanks and happy writing.
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you very much for your review. :)
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You are welcome.
Comment from Diana Kane
This is just a bit heartbreaking. I love the last line. I just didn't see it coming which makes it all that much greater. Thank you for sharing it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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This is just a bit heartbreaking. I love the last line. I just didn't see it coming which makes it all that much greater. Thank you for sharing it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you very much, Diana :)
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great job with this unique poem that expresses well the concept of being betrayed by a man who gave flowers and then disappeared. That's a great example of one of the lower forms of the male species. Bill
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Great job with this unique poem that expresses well the concept of being betrayed by a man who gave flowers and then disappeared. That's a great example of one of the lower forms of the male species. Bill
Comment Written 20-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you very much, Bill