desert landscape
5-7-5 nature contest (black licorice road)3 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Bitumen roads are pitch black so they definitely resemble a piece of liquorice stretched out....
but also a snake ( eg.mambo ) resemble a piece of liquorice both when it moves straight forward or whilst it is curled up .( liquorice wheels)
Once again you have found a great combination of words that are connected by shape and colour ..
Black long road
Black long mambo
Black long piece of liquorice
By the way :
Black liquorice road .. Is really a cool description
Also, you managed to have in the last two lines eight S in 9 words .. This helps make the poem flow ( slither.. biggrin ) well.
All these well combined elements make this a six star poem for me.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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Bitumen roads are pitch black so they definitely resemble a piece of liquorice stretched out....
but also a snake ( eg.mambo ) resemble a piece of liquorice both when it moves straight forward or whilst it is curled up .( liquorice wheels)
Once again you have found a great combination of words that are connected by shape and colour ..
Black long road
Black long mambo
Black long piece of liquorice
By the way :
Black liquorice road .. Is really a cool description
Also, you managed to have in the last two lines eight S in 9 words .. This helps make the poem flow ( slither.. biggrin ) well.
All these well combined elements make this a six star poem for me.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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Great word is bitumen, but too scientific for my simple poem. (-; The mambo is a ferocious and dangerous snake but loses in the battle of life with a mongoose! Thanks again for your super support and your six stars!
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I just voted .. you have 2 votes now.. ( smile)
Comment from Ben B.
"Black licorice road" that's a pretty descriptive analogy. I don't like licorice and snakes give me the creeps. ð??? Anyway good job with your poem, hope you win.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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"Black licorice road" that's a pretty descriptive analogy. I don't like licorice and snakes give me the creeps. ð??? Anyway good job with your poem, hope you win.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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Ben,
Thanks for this review and stars. I do like chewy black licorice, but you can keep the snakes behind glass at the zoo (-; I appreciate your good wishes in the contest voting.
Comment from LisaMay
Your haiku-style 5-7-5 brings together two images very cleverly - that of the black road snaking through the landscape like a length of licorice, and that of the reptile itself. The season and location are portrayed through desert heat. The "s" sounds reinforce the subject.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Your haiku-style 5-7-5 brings together two images very cleverly - that of the black road snaking through the landscape like a length of licorice, and that of the reptile itself. The season and location are portrayed through desert heat. The "s" sounds reinforce the subject.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Pleased you recognized my ?s? sounds and the possible image of the snake slithering about in a curvy way in the hot desert weather.
In the heat of this summer, my licorice (I prefer the black to red) will be soft and stretch out as I chew the same. LOL
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I am a licorice lover also - especially when it gets stretchy. i'd rather eat that than a snake!