This Easter Morn
Free Verse: Along a North Carolina woodland path97 total reviews
Comment from mayflowerbg
Because it's a poem dedicated to God, your essayistic approach works very well. Otherwise I would have liked it better if you told less and showed more.
Have a blessed Easter!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Because it's a poem dedicated to God, your essayistic approach works very well. Otherwise I would have liked it better if you told less and showed more.
Have a blessed Easter!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Thank you for your review. There is a fine line between essay/story/poem/prayer. . . To me, what I wrote is all of these. . . Happy Easter . . . diane
Comment from Mrs Jones
This is a lovely verse. The imagery is good and your passion is felt. Just a few suggestions...These lines below read a bit awkward, maybe re-write. Futher in the verse there are some superfluous 'ands' eg 'and I have
no answers'
"as tumultuous thunder clouds gathered,
as well as along a desolate Ohio
roadway "
Well done
Cheers
Rose
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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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This is a lovely verse. The imagery is good and your passion is felt. Just a few suggestions...These lines below read a bit awkward, maybe re-write. Futher in the verse there are some superfluous 'ands' eg 'and I have
no answers'
"as tumultuous thunder clouds gathered,
as well as along a desolate Ohio
roadway "
Well done
Cheers
Rose
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Hello Mrs Jones! Thank you for stopping by for a visit. I know I am not to 'defend," so I shall just offer two comments: I believe poetry should be read aloud. . . and in doing, so the lines that you deem awkward do not appear or sound that way to me. As for the "superfluous" "ands," if they exist, they are intentional. My point being that God has been/is/was/will be forever with me "and" these are the things I have experienced when I acknowledged His presence and when I refused to do so. . .diane
Comment from poeticcat2003
What a beautiful sentiment for such an appropriate day. Well done, the colors add to the vision and the beauty of this piece.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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What a beautiful sentiment for such an appropriate day. Well done, the colors add to the vision and the beauty of this piece.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Thank you so much for your kind review. . . diane
Comment from samandlancelot
But He refuses to lose me. I love this line.
Every line was precious and picturesque. Truly a perfect poem for this Resurrection Day.
In Jesus' Name,
Patricia
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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But He refuses to lose me. I love this line.
Every line was precious and picturesque. Truly a perfect poem for this Resurrection Day.
In Jesus' Name,
Patricia
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Thank you so much Patricia for your kind review. . . Happy Easter. . . diane
Comment from Vitra
very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!********************************************************************************************************
*****************************************:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}:}
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Well, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! diane
Comment from angel of the quill
Tied to the prison of congrete and rude people
give me the trees and freedom seeing below the steeple
built a hundred years ago or more
open to all who want to cross the door
give me time before now when people helped the neighbor
in a good name wanting only for the blessing to go forward
with no harm no vanity no price laid down
oh feed me home grown foods tended by weathered loving hands
with out the chemicals given of those of man
oh please i was not born to this age no stranger was I to God for he can reign
but sometimes this is a Godless place where you can not speak even his name
cover his book show it no more as they plan to edit it saying no freedom to see
oh give me the past that part that was true history
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Tied to the prison of congrete and rude people
give me the trees and freedom seeing below the steeple
built a hundred years ago or more
open to all who want to cross the door
give me time before now when people helped the neighbor
in a good name wanting only for the blessing to go forward
with no harm no vanity no price laid down
oh feed me home grown foods tended by weathered loving hands
with out the chemicals given of those of man
oh please i was not born to this age no stranger was I to God for he can reign
but sometimes this is a Godless place where you can not speak even his name
cover his book show it no more as they plan to edit it saying no freedom to see
oh give me the past that part that was true history
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Hello angel: Beautiful sentiments. . . Happy Easter! diane
Comment from AlvinTEthington
I really like the phrase "He will not let go of me." In the past, I have felt that way. And it is such a good turn of phrase. I really enjoyed this poem.
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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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I really like the phrase "He will not let go of me." In the past, I have felt that way. And it is such a good turn of phrase. I really enjoyed this poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2007
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Thank you so much, Alvin. . . I respect your reviews so much, and I am honored that you are the first to have expressed your thoughts about my offering. . .Happy Easter. . . diane