Comment from Gremlinsmom

Excellent

Bob, I don't know how I missed this...been in my own private Idaho lately. I love this poem. In fact, I love it so much look for a PM of a suggestion on where to submit it. This is great stuff. Reminded me so much of the summer when I was little in NY. Loved this line
It was sticky out, like "don't touch me" hot,
Only one suggestion...in this line...

any way, we could until Grandma screamed,

Not sure you need the comma after way? I'm not the punctuation princess so ask someone who knows for sure before you remove it! :) Great stuff! Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2005

Comment from Ls

Excellent

Ah, the nostalgia this poem set my mind to racing to. Sounds exactly like my Sunday's at "the old place," where my grandparents lived and the family got together each Sunday. People today really do miss out on a wonderful slice of life by not taking the time to do these things.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2005

Comment from ladykay

Excellent

Hi Bob...

"and the next thing I knew,
I was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets."

Another good one from you. And these lines do a great job of a summer night description! The young boys and their antics and the young boys with theirs...You share a wonderful summer day's night.

All the best!

ladykay

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2005

Comment from BellasTales

Excellent

Hi Bob,

I loved this poem. The reminicing about summers long past and the humor! It was a fun, enjoyable read. It flowed quite well for me from start to finish. I wish you all the best in the contest! This one reads like a winner to me.
Bella :)

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2005

Comment from NoobReader

Excellent

Poem
Wow, what a wonderful masterpiece! This poem is really excellent. It is indiscribable. What can I say more? The poem ryhtyms, filled with valuable meanings that touches one's heart =D

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2005

Comment from Susanne

Excellent

when the company on the porch
lost their faces to the creeping dark, ----This is a great line.

I have many of those same kids of summertime memories...well, we girls had to keep our shirts on... I can see and hear your family yucking it up on the porch and the kids running through the dark, chasing frogs and fireflies. This is just a great entry. :-)

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2005

Comment from Cosette

Excellent

You have taken us back to a simplier time and your reverie is eloquently said. Your poem had a little of everything: comedy, sadness, adventure, wonderment, nature...it was simply top notch reading. More please?

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2005

Comment from Balladeer

Excellent

Well Mastery I think that was

an interesting take on the

summer theme of this contest.

It reminds me of my dad's story

of company picknics that he

went on with his grandfather

years ago. I missed all that

kind of experience. Good

luck in the contest~ Skye

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2005

Comment from Rx kingpen

Excellent

Very good write. You really took us on a journey in this poem. I think you did an amazing job with the imagery and narrative. It felt like i was there and could relate to some of these scenes. Good job Mastery, good to read you, TJ

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2005

Comment from Black Wren

Excellent

any way(,) we could until Grandma screamed,
(delete)

I can believe it considering what your winters are probably like.
A typical summer evening in Michigan.
Well done it writing it.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2005