Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "The Dying Art"A book of Poetry & Writing
193 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
I'm sorry, but I just can't accept this as poetry - it is prose. There is no attempt at poetic diction or the use of poetic devices - the first 'paragraph' is the closest.
Even as prose, I would criticise this - the first two paragraphs are OK but both the third and fourth need to be broken into two or more sentences. In paragraph 3, the two halves don't seem to have any logical connection to justify them being grouped together and in the final paragraph the first part of the sentence doesn't seem to make sense.
You have some interesting and valid points - I would suggest re-writing it as either a poem (you would have to edit to take note of the points above) or perhaps more comfortably as a short essay.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
   |
I'm sorry, but I just can't accept this as poetry - it is prose. There is no attempt at poetic diction or the use of poetic devices - the first 'paragraph' is the closest.
Even as prose, I would criticise this - the first two paragraphs are OK but both the third and fourth need to be broken into two or more sentences. In paragraph 3, the two halves don't seem to have any logical connection to justify them being grouped together and in the final paragraph the first part of the sentence doesn't seem to make sense.
You have some interesting and valid points - I would suggest re-writing it as either a poem (you would have to edit to take note of the points above) or perhaps more comfortably as a short essay.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from MagKing
This piece was not placed in any category of poetry, so I don't really know how to review this poem....But what I can say is that it should have been included in the philosophic category.
Great write; nice one!
MagKing
|
This piece was not placed in any category of poetry, so I don't really know how to review this poem....But what I can say is that it should have been included in the philosophic category.
Great write; nice one!
MagKing
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from xotic flotsam
Few stride unwaveringly trauma free as we weave our paths before us. Trying events can be the litmus test for a friendship's durability. You ponder and plumb the depths of integrity, flexibility, and sacrifice. Although I think nothing surpasses balancing wobbly narrow paths when choices seem fraught with darkness on all sides. Sorting through the superficial impostors focus your powers of perception choosing those of like mind, and strength. Interesting philosophical waxing. be well.
x
|
Few stride unwaveringly trauma free as we weave our paths before us. Trying events can be the litmus test for a friendship's durability. You ponder and plumb the depths of integrity, flexibility, and sacrifice. Although I think nothing surpasses balancing wobbly narrow paths when choices seem fraught with darkness on all sides. Sorting through the superficial impostors focus your powers of perception choosing those of like mind, and strength. Interesting philosophical waxing. be well.
x
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from smudge
A excellent poetic philosophical flash writing. I wouldn't call poetry its category. A well presented posting. It may be a good idea to illustrate with an artwork.
|
A excellent poetic philosophical flash writing. I wouldn't call poetry its category. A well presented posting. It may be a good idea to illustrate with an artwork.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from GWinterwin
Great thoughts here as you talk about the dying art of real love and compassion. Great wisdom in your thoughts, that people should listen too.
|
Great thoughts here as you talk about the dying art of real love and compassion. Great wisdom in your thoughts, that people should listen too.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from amahra
What a wonderful writing, my dear. I loved the thought provoking message to your writing. I thought it quite appropriate that you saw no need for a picture. The writing is picture enough.
|
What a wonderful writing, my dear. I loved the thought provoking message to your writing. I thought it quite appropriate that you saw no need for a picture. The writing is picture enough.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from TinaMarie10
I thought it seemed like a good idea but that was all.. an idea not a complete poem. The structure was a little vague. It seemed more like a comment then a poem.
|
I thought it seemed like a good idea but that was all.. an idea not a complete poem. The structure was a little vague. It seemed more like a comment then a poem.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from 24chas
I think you had the beginnings of a good piece, but this read more as prose, or even a list of observations. It was thought-provoking and interesting.
|
I think you had the beginnings of a good piece, but this read more as prose, or even a list of observations. It was thought-provoking and interesting.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2014
Comment from Matoshka
Your words brought tears to my eyes as the truth is so clear in your verse. I am so glad I read this tonight as the Lord has used it to answer a question for me. What a gem of truth you have penned. Blessings
|
Your words brought tears to my eyes as the truth is so clear in your verse. I am so glad I read this tonight as the Lord has used it to answer a question for me. What a gem of truth you have penned. Blessings
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
Comment from NicciFaye
Well deepwater...you trend in pretty deep and powerful meanings, thoughts, and wisdom. A excellent poem with great meaning and message.
|
Well deepwater...you trend in pretty deep and powerful meanings, thoughts, and wisdom. A excellent poem with great meaning and message.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
