Reviews from

Hot Dogs, French Fries, Lemonade!

An ode to a hot dog stand.

130 total reviews 
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

I really enjoyed your journey down memory lane. This was well conceived and well executed. Great presentation of the piece with the elongated words and changed font size.

Nice one
GMG

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, giraffmang, for your kind review. This was originally a spoken word poem. I adapted the words to approximate how I pronounced them in my performance. Thus, I added pauses for each word of "one at a time" and I extended the letter "m" for "mmmelt" and diminished the fonts. I am glad my poem gave you a trip down memory lane.
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
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While I'm not American I can relate to these aspects of life that you highlight with such fondness in this ode to hot dog stand. You centre the imagery on this icon of Americana and surround it with the moments, the things, the feelings that emanate from the times. You use emotion effectively to connect the dots and imagery to enhance the reader's sense of place and time. Good use of line and word placement make this an easy and pleasant memory with which to empathise. Best of luck with the vote.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, mfowler, for your kind and thoughtful review. I knew that moment was special when I dined there. How often can one eat lunch atop the Hollywood Walk of Fame? I slowed down and paid attention to the food and my surroundings as I began to compose this poem in my head while I ate slowly. I am thrilled that my poem resonated with you. Thanks for wishing me best of luck in the contest.
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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This was fun to read and I bet you have a great dal of fun performing it. You make me want to find this hot dog stand if ever get to LA. I like the tricks you used in stretching out the words and increasing spacing. Good luck getting it published in the magazine.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, w.j.debi, for your fine review, and thank you FanStory for helping me make a good poem great. Since I had performed this as a spoken word poem, I wanted to recreate my performance in a way the reader can understand and "hear." So I increased spacing in "one at a time," prolonged "prolong," and mmmelted ice cubes. Thank you for wishing me good luck in getting my poem published.
Comment from mvbrooks
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I enjoyed your poem. Every year, my grandmother would drive us to her farm in Pennsylvania, from our home in New Jersey. It was a long drive. We knew we were 1/2 way there when we got to stop at Johnny's Hotdog.

Your poem brought back those memories. very effective poem

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    mvbrooks, I am so glad my poem brought back memories of Johnny's Hotdogs. It is not just about the food, it is about our connections with other people and with our memories. Thanks for your review.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
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Mystery writer: It's good to remember and proooo-lllooong your memories and tasty fries, one x xxx one! Favorite friends and times bring your joy. This is like photo journalism reporting on a time and place. It's nothing like the country or fast paced city life. What great pies and performances. Well written! Great information!
Glad you are hanging out with the LA artists and writers! flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, flylikeaneagle, for your delicious review. Yes, it is not about "fast food"; it is about our connections to friends, to place, and to ourselves. It is this connectedness we must savor and prolong. Thanks for your review.
Comment from c_lucas
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Nothing tastes as sweet
as memories relished again--
or as bitter.

These words of this memorial poem says it all. Hot dogs and lemonade stands are part of American history. your poem is very well written with good imagery.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Yes, c_lucas, hot dog and lemonade stands are part of American history. We should relish the memories they evoke. Thanks for your review.
reply by c_lucas on 27-Jul-2015
    There is an excellent hot dog stand in Vegas. After a few hours, it's all I can afford. (LOL)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    I think I know which stand you are talking about. It's Pink's on Las Vegas Boulevard . I ate there before but was unimpressed. Like you, I eat there when that is all I can afford.
reply by c_lucas on 27-Jul-2015
    Vegas has quit their ninety-nine cents steaks.
Comment from angel123
Excellent
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Your poem is interesting and entertaining and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well with humor and it's message is fun. I like your artwork choice.

Angel123

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, angel123, I am glad you enjoyed the humor and the message of my poem.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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I recognize this store, even though I've never been in it before. LOL.

What a great trip down memory lane, your use of extended words and diminishing font sizes really make this much more of an experiential poem.

Excellent and best of luck to you in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, Gloria, for your kind review. I am glad my poem gave you a trip down memory land and perhaps to Skooby's. Since this is spoken word poem, I extended the words and diminished the font to approximate the way I said them. Thank you also for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Excellent
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This poem is really the re-creation of an experience in place and time. I would like it even without the print modifications as in the word "melt."

Does an "ode" usually address something directly, usually as "you"? Is there a difference between an ode and a tribute? I need to review the difference.

I love the way you use yellow to convey the bright happiness of this memory and also to go with lemonade and Yeller Gal. Your poem is a wonderful nostalgic piece that took me back and made me smile.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thank you, Debbie Noland, for your fine review. My poem recreated not only an experience of time and place, but of my spoken word performance as my print modifications approximate the way I said the words. I do not know if there is a difference between an ode and a tribute. I bask in the nostalgic glow of lemonade and sunshine. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Hello mystery writer,
I really enjoyed reading~Hot Dogs, French Fries, Lemonade~ It sounds like you had a great time with your family and partner. Good job!

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Yes, Gypsy Blue Rose, we had a great time. While they were eating, I was taking notes for this poem. Thanks for the review.