Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Another powerful poetic proclamation pertaining to the angst, torment and heartache that often accompanies the breakup of a long-term relationship.

I found myself stumbling over just one line in particular. It was the following;

"Discarded vows, greener promises lands,..." --As I read it -- twice aloud -- I found myself wanting to say 'promised lands' instead.

Other than that, well done, GW

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

Thank you

reply by Dean Kuch on 01-Aug-2014

Sure...

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

To all those bloody anal grammar poet Nazis out there take note of this beautifully written poem THERE IS NO RULES IN POETRY THAT HAVE TO BE STRINGENTLY ADHERED TO SO YOU CAN ALL GO STICK YA IAMBIC TECHNOMETERS, SYLLABIC COUNT AND PERFECT ABAB, AABB ABCB rhyming up YOUR POETIC ARSES

THANBKS DEEPWATER FOR POSTING THIS AND SHOWING THE POETIC WORLD THAT PERFECT RHYMING IS A REQUIREMENT FOR GOOD POETRY
LIVE ON MY PROXIMATE RHYMER! LIVE ON!

dipster

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thank you DR for the review

Gary

reply by DR DIP on 01-Aug-2014

should have read "IS NOT A REQUIREMENT" lol

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

A very moving and sad piece. We like to think that love and relationships are forever but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. This well written.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thank you

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi GW,

I surmise adversity should serve to help us learn from whence we came, and then strive to do better. Lessons learned can be a powerful key for the future.

Nicely written, with great impact.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('-')

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thanks Jax

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Great flow. Yet, I feel you're hiding something. I know a poem doesn't have to tell all, but what is the nightmare? You have some good advice, and changing plans is always what happens, as a general in battle changes to current conditions. So, does life. A very nice reflection. Les

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thanks Les

Comment from vapros

Excellent

In this plaintive poem of proximate rhymes and reflective concepts, you enumerate the trials of a relationship, and the forces that may have ended it. Seems to be a new surprise on the way, and the reader is challenged to identify it. I would guess it is a single life. Good work.

v

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thanks V

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This poem on life's reflection is really THE analysis that we will all make as we touch on those moments when we question the resolve of our decisions.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thanks Bill

Comment from Erik McGinley

Excellent

promises lands - some typo in there?

Interestingly abstract. Reads a bit like someone who lost someone for being trusting and now, on possibility of another try, is asking the other what they think the response to that will be.

Nice. Short. Thought provoking. One of those poems that has no real answer other than the question it poses.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thank you

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

For a buck forty seven, I will not say "wow" and grab the money and run. But all I see is a "greener Promised Land."
And you, of course, can disregard me as you wish.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

disregarded thanks

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Excellent flow of lines and rhyming of words. My trust is the nightmare that played us a-part is a wonderful line that gives the reader goosebumps and reflects real life. Your words capture the feelings and trials of life that often happen.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2014

thank you