Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "The soul of a soldier"A book of Poetry & Writing
271 total reviews
Comment from grassroots08
It is a nice prose piece, but I wonder if you should add some question marks instead of all of the commas?!? Thanks for sharing this piece full of meaning, Cheers, Don
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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It is a nice prose piece, but I wonder if you should add some question marks instead of all of the commas?!? Thanks for sharing this piece full of meaning, Cheers, Don
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you Don
Comment from prodigal
Very nice and well timed poem. I enjoyed it. I was in the Marines for six years. I didn't really see any combat, but always had respect and admiration for those who did. Well done- sam
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Very nice and well timed poem. I enjoyed it. I was in the Marines for six years. I didn't really see any combat, but always had respect and admiration for those who did. Well done- sam
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you Sam for reading
Comment from rivki1111
Hello, this is a poem full of feeling and it has some good observations. I liked it.
I do think it could be improved though, and I have copied and pasted an edit below, with my suggestion in brackets.
'...and resolut(ion)...'
If it was my poem, I would probably put capitals at the start of every line, just for consistency.
Other than that, I have no suggestions for improvement and would recommend your poetry to other readers for review, cheers, rebekah
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Hello, this is a poem full of feeling and it has some good observations. I liked it.
I do think it could be improved though, and I have copied and pasted an edit below, with my suggestion in brackets.
'...and resolut(ion)...'
If it was my poem, I would probably put capitals at the start of every line, just for consistency.
Other than that, I have no suggestions for improvement and would recommend your poetry to other readers for review, cheers, rebekah
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thanks again rebekah for reading
Comment from amada
This is a great Memorial Day work. I truly admire the sacrifices of these great men, so forgotten in the midst of shooting and shouting. Very well done!
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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This is a great Memorial Day work. I truly admire the sacrifices of these great men, so forgotten in the midst of shooting and shouting. Very well done!
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you amada
Comment from christopherjl
Beautifully written. I don't have any changes or feedback for you except that it was thought provoking and well written. Thank you for sharing your piece.
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Beautifully written. I don't have any changes or feedback for you except that it was thought provoking and well written. Thank you for sharing your piece.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you chris for reading this and for the 6 stars GW
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
This is intense, deep and very thoughtful. I especially liked the supreme style, good power in the lines and well versed message.
Can we rest from the toils of battle at peace,with the understanding that history will show the distinguished who have fallen
[ Intriguing lines]
K
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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This is intense, deep and very thoughtful. I especially liked the supreme style, good power in the lines and well versed message.
Can we rest from the toils of battle at peace,with the understanding that history will show the distinguished who have fallen
[ Intriguing lines]
K
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you Kashif for reading GW
Comment from fastdigits
A tale told in stark tones, sparing
no sensitivities, of the few who always
pay the ultimate price and yet do we ever
learn from the mistakes of the past.
A soul searing writing to make one stop
and reflect just what is a soldier and what
he gives up.
Well done
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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A tale told in stark tones, sparing
no sensitivities, of the few who always
pay the ultimate price and yet do we ever
learn from the mistakes of the past.
A soul searing writing to make one stop
and reflect just what is a soldier and what
he gives up.
Well done
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you fast
Comment from AmorGentil
Our Brave soldiers deserve all the recognition of this Sacred Nation, and our leaders, the leaders that we elect, they are suppose to be the ones that represent us in that ceremony of recognition in a day like this day, Memorial Day.
But I suppose that a leader that do not feel gratitude, that is so immerse in himself, does not care about patriotism.
(You Know what I mean)
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Our Brave soldiers deserve all the recognition of this Sacred Nation, and our leaders, the leaders that we elect, they are suppose to be the ones that represent us in that ceremony of recognition in a day like this day, Memorial Day.
But I suppose that a leader that do not feel gratitude, that is so immerse in himself, does not care about patriotism.
(You Know what I mean)
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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i know and thanks for reading Amor
Comment from flygirl254
Your poetry has escaped my notice before, and it seems I shall have to go have a peek at your portfolio. This poem is fantastic.
On first reading this poem, my impression was, "honor". You have conveyed the emotions and thoughts of this soldier beautifully. Your structure within this free verse poem is quite interesting. I like your internal rhymes, and I also like the use of lengthy lines. For reading aloud, these longer lines actually give a lot of emphasis to your thoughts, and add natural pauses so anyone listening can think about what they've heard. I also think your use of the shorter lines gives them a good deal of emphasis because they are a change from the norm of this poem.
You have some excellent word choices in this poem. With, "for which we few paid the ulti,ate price only a soldier can give," evokes a feeling of heroism. I also like the wording of, "confusion from history." That's a really good phrase.
Excellent work on this poem. I think it is outstanding work.
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Your poetry has escaped my notice before, and it seems I shall have to go have a peek at your portfolio. This poem is fantastic.
On first reading this poem, my impression was, "honor". You have conveyed the emotions and thoughts of this soldier beautifully. Your structure within this free verse poem is quite interesting. I like your internal rhymes, and I also like the use of lengthy lines. For reading aloud, these longer lines actually give a lot of emphasis to your thoughts, and add natural pauses so anyone listening can think about what they've heard. I also think your use of the shorter lines gives them a good deal of emphasis because they are a change from the norm of this poem.
You have some excellent word choices in this poem. With, "for which we few paid the ulti,ate price only a soldier can give," evokes a feeling of heroism. I also like the wording of, "confusion from history." That's a really good phrase.
Excellent work on this poem. I think it is outstanding work.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you fly
Comment from percival86jack
I'm afraid this is unfortunately true..."will you repeat the past mistakes of your ancestors who walked this world before?" The more things change, the more they stay the same. Well written my friend... cheers, Jack
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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I'm afraid this is unfortunately true..."will you repeat the past mistakes of your ancestors who walked this world before?" The more things change, the more they stay the same. Well written my friend... cheers, Jack
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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thank you jack
