Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

I would ask one question, which won't affect your score.
Why not "Six of my brothers carry me to my resting place."?
Just seems so natural. Excellent verse.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014

Thank you

Comment from Fridayauthor

Excellent

I especially like the ending line of this very nice poem.

I didn't understand the "Carrie"... did you mean "carry"?

The term "wine" (whine?) of a bugle didn't seem the best choice. I've heard many taps but I couldn't form any mental picture with that line.

Thank you!

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2014

Thank you

Comment from Pyrrho

Excellent

Six of my brothers Carrie me forward, carry?

A bit too much reverse syntax in this poem for me, but by Fan Story standards, par for the course.

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 Comment Written 28-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014

thank you I did make the change

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Exceptional

This poem touched my heart. It not only caused tears to well in my eyes but my arms got goose bumps. That is a mark of a perfect poem.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2014

thank you Barbara