Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Over the Top 1914 Eastern Front"A book of Poetry & Writing
238 total reviews
Comment from Donna Thompson
Our dead will mock the searing heat
My wounds will blister black
You tell us that our strength was sold
To help your country back
What evil times have carnage chosen
For judgment on this land
With scorn and tears we greet him here
We are ready to make our stand
Now fix bayonets went the battle cry
This has very nice depth.. Great job
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
  |
Our dead will mock the searing heat
My wounds will blister black
You tell us that our strength was sold
To help your country back
What evil times have carnage chosen
For judgment on this land
With scorn and tears we greet him here
We are ready to make our stand
Now fix bayonets went the battle cry
This has very nice depth.. Great job
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you Donna
Comment from dpn78
very good it follows on from the other 15 chapters beautifully. It encapsulates the ill-feeling of the frontline soldiers and doing what they have to for themselves.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
very good it follows on from the other 15 chapters beautifully. It encapsulates the ill-feeling of the frontline soldiers and doing what they have to for themselves.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you dpn
Comment from katha8
Nice poem of ending in a space on earth. I just read a poem of a lost soul trying to pull out a mind traveller into a pitcheblend dark hole. I wish some poet can cook her up some rhyme. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
Nice poem of ending in a space on earth. I just read a poem of a lost soul trying to pull out a mind traveller into a pitcheblend dark hole. I wish some poet can cook her up some rhyme. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
lol thanks for reading Kath
Comment from Auroraboreal800
I think this is a very strong writing, with a great message about the war to end all wars. Imagery, metaphor and rhymes as well are excellent.
Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
I think this is a very strong writing, with a great message about the war to end all wars. Imagery, metaphor and rhymes as well are excellent.
Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you Auroraboreal for reading
Comment from LateBloomer
hello deepwater, a poignant poem that speaks volumes in a few short lines and that is not an easy feat. i particularly liked the following:
What evil times have carnage chosen
For judgment on this land
With scorn and tears we greet him here
(when wars were fought face-to-face and man-to-man)
this poem reads and flows well and i have no suggestion for improvement.
regards, LateBloomer
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
hello deepwater, a poignant poem that speaks volumes in a few short lines and that is not an easy feat. i particularly liked the following:
What evil times have carnage chosen
For judgment on this land
With scorn and tears we greet him here
(when wars were fought face-to-face and man-to-man)
this poem reads and flows well and i have no suggestion for improvement.
regards, LateBloomer
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you Late for reading this
Comment from jmdg1954
A very well written poem. All war is a horrendous time in history. I never had the opportunity to serve and at times it is something I regret (that may sound strange).
I saw no corrections to the best of my knowledge...
Nicely done,
John
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
A very well written poem. All war is a horrendous time in history. I never had the opportunity to serve and at times it is something I regret (that may sound strange).
I saw no corrections to the best of my knowledge...
Nicely done,
John
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thanks for reading John i was in the army and know what your saying myfriend
Comment from hotstuff
Your poem is very moving. All war is horrendous, but the first world war seems to stand apart in many ways as even more so. From the little I know, it seems the lack of sophisticated weaponry meant prolonged existence living in trenches filled with water and rats, often when wounded
(Now fix bayonets went the battle cry)
(My wounds will blister black)
Also the soldiers were used as a human line of defense, the first to fall, trampled on by the next line and so on. Barbaric and inhumane. Your poem is a reminder to us all of the wickedness of war.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
Your poem is very moving. All war is horrendous, but the first world war seems to stand apart in many ways as even more so. From the little I know, it seems the lack of sophisticated weaponry meant prolonged existence living in trenches filled with water and rats, often when wounded
(Now fix bayonets went the battle cry)
(My wounds will blister black)
Also the soldiers were used as a human line of defense, the first to fall, trampled on by the next line and so on. Barbaric and inhumane. Your poem is a reminder to us all of the wickedness of war.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you Hotstuff
Comment from Aussie
A war to end all wars (or so it was said) the fighting is still going on, more sophisticated weaponry that kills more functionally and without such heavy losses as in WW1 and WW11. No war is worth cheering over. The dead mount up, the stench of bodies, least we can know they are marching to the beat of God's drummer now. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
A war to end all wars (or so it was said) the fighting is still going on, more sophisticated weaponry that kills more functionally and without such heavy losses as in WW1 and WW11. No war is worth cheering over. The dead mount up, the stench of bodies, least we can know they are marching to the beat of God's drummer now. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you Aussie
Comment from Awatef
This is an interesting to read poem. I enjoyed reading it. There are no flaws according to my best judgment of your great work. Keep up the great writing.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
|
This is an interesting to read poem. I enjoyed reading it. There are no flaws according to my best judgment of your great work. Keep up the great writing.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2010
-
thank you Awatef
Comment from S.Yocom
This is a poignant little poem, deepwater. We tend to forget what our brave soldiers in World War I went through. Is there a line missing at the end? The rest of the poem has rhymes, but there is no rhyming line for the last one. But I like your poem.
Sally
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
|
This is a poignant little poem, deepwater. We tend to forget what our brave soldiers in World War I went through. Is there a line missing at the end? The rest of the poem has rhymes, but there is no rhyming line for the last one. But I like your poem.
Sally
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
-
thank you sally for reading the end was he went over the top. GW
