Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "The Dying Art"A book of Poetry & Writing
193 total reviews
Comment from Janet Foor
An interesting take and certainly a thought provoking piece. We have idealistic notions but then reality sets in. Some great sentiments in this short piece.
Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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An interesting take and certainly a thought provoking piece. We have idealistic notions but then reality sets in. Some great sentiments in this short piece.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thanks
Comment from barleygirl
I really like your message. I like that you're delivering this powerful message without going on & on. Just direct & to the point. I love the first stanza, which is soooo true. Beyond that, however, there are some complex words & phrases (here & there) that keep the reader in "cerebral" mode, not so much feeling your words, as much as in the first stanza. The final stanza is way too analytical & has too much stilted language for me. Simple & direct helps the reader feel your message, like this: "friends that make you laugh and focus on life" . . . Good job, overall.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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I really like your message. I like that you're delivering this powerful message without going on & on. Just direct & to the point. I love the first stanza, which is soooo true. Beyond that, however, there are some complex words & phrases (here & there) that keep the reader in "cerebral" mode, not so much feeling your words, as much as in the first stanza. The final stanza is way too analytical & has too much stilted language for me. Simple & direct helps the reader feel your message, like this: "friends that make you laugh and focus on life" . . . Good job, overall.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thanks
Comment from bard owl
This is a very interesting read. I often ponder the meaning of life and death and your words on these subject are quite thought-provoking. I think it is hope that allows us to take on the challenges of this life and hope's sisters, faith and compassion make our earthly journey easier. Exceptional read. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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This is a very interesting read. I often ponder the meaning of life and death and your words on these subject are quite thought-provoking. I think it is hope that allows us to take on the challenges of this life and hope's sisters, faith and compassion make our earthly journey easier. Exceptional read. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thank you Bard owl for the 6
Comment from judester
We must surround ourselves with people who nurture and encourage us. People with the same goals, dreams and energy, otherwise you just get drained, little by little,drained. I am rethinking some of my connections, so it kinda hit home, cheers Judester
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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We must surround ourselves with people who nurture and encourage us. People with the same goals, dreams and energy, otherwise you just get drained, little by little,drained. I am rethinking some of my connections, so it kinda hit home, cheers Judester
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thanks for reading
Comment from evrenios
Your philosophy is very thought provoking in this write - truly more prose than poetry. I felt that I learned from you, but it was more of a lecture than a philosophy stated in metaphorical terms. A poem doesn't have to have rhyme or meter, but need to take us to a deeper place in our soul. The teachers are always telling us "Don't tell us, show us." That is what makes a poem a poem.
I don't mean to put you off - you have the beginnings of a good write here. There are a few places that need to be looked at. You have several run-on sentences. If writing in poetic style with stanzas, it is permitted as the end of a line is often automatically considered a period or a comma. In this prose style, it doesn't work.
Falling is part of life and trust is the basis of all real friendship(.) (W)e enter this world alone with no illusion of what is to come.
We die with the understanding of (the) wisdom needed to survive(.) (T)he in-between is the dying art of compassion with flexibility and accountability to others that cross(es) (this refers to art - not the descriptive words, and therefore is singular) your path between the parts of life we know as birth and death.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Your philosophy is very thought provoking in this write - truly more prose than poetry. I felt that I learned from you, but it was more of a lecture than a philosophy stated in metaphorical terms. A poem doesn't have to have rhyme or meter, but need to take us to a deeper place in our soul. The teachers are always telling us "Don't tell us, show us." That is what makes a poem a poem.
I don't mean to put you off - you have the beginnings of a good write here. There are a few places that need to be looked at. You have several run-on sentences. If writing in poetic style with stanzas, it is permitted as the end of a line is often automatically considered a period or a comma. In this prose style, it doesn't work.
Falling is part of life and trust is the basis of all real friendship(.) (W)e enter this world alone with no illusion of what is to come.
We die with the understanding of (the) wisdom needed to survive(.) (T)he in-between is the dying art of compassion with flexibility and accountability to others that cross(es) (this refers to art - not the descriptive words, and therefore is singular) your path between the parts of life we know as birth and death.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thanks
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece contains a message filled with knowledge, wisdom and understanding. For everyone born, someone has to die. Death is the beginning of life and the promises to Jesus Christ. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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This piece contains a message filled with knowledge, wisdom and understanding. For everyone born, someone has to die. Death is the beginning of life and the promises to Jesus Christ. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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welcome
Comment from The Death
Hi,
I enjoyed reading this thought provoking and insightful write you have written. :-)
You have so much to convey here and your thoughts come out clearly as well.
However, it doesn't fall under the category of poems and sounds more like a philosophical essay.
If you would have crafted this in a free verse form, it would have been great. All the lines are complete in themselves, yet there is a lack of fluidity and the shifts are meandering too.
I am very much impressed with the content,but not the way you crafted it. You can enhance its beauty in a free style with proper phrasing, breaks and poetic devices.
I would be happy to revisit if you make any changes.
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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Hi,
I enjoyed reading this thought provoking and insightful write you have written. :-)
You have so much to convey here and your thoughts come out clearly as well.
However, it doesn't fall under the category of poems and sounds more like a philosophical essay.
If you would have crafted this in a free verse form, it would have been great. All the lines are complete in themselves, yet there is a lack of fluidity and the shifts are meandering too.
I am very much impressed with the content,but not the way you crafted it. You can enhance its beauty in a free style with proper phrasing, breaks and poetic devices.
I would be happy to revisit if you make any changes.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thanks Anupam i like it the way it is again thanks for reading
Comment from donaldww
I agree with the concepts that you present in this short piece, but I see two problems in the writing.
1. Inconsistent POV (point of view). The piece jumps between we and you.
This is most obvious in the second sentence.
We try to surround ourselves with people with integrity, flexibility and ethics, friends that make you laugh and focus on life, but if you fall will always hold out a hand to help you back up, <<-- [.]
(Pick one POV and stick with it. For example:
We try to surround ourselves with people of integrity, people with flexibility and ethics, friends that make us laugh and focus on life, who hold out a hand to help us back up if we fall.
or
You try to surround yourself with people of integrity, people with flexibility and ethics, friends that make you laugh and focus on life, who hold out a hand to help you back up if you fail.
)
2. This is a short essay. It is neither a poem nor prose poetry.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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I agree with the concepts that you present in this short piece, but I see two problems in the writing.
1. Inconsistent POV (point of view). The piece jumps between we and you.
This is most obvious in the second sentence.
We try to surround ourselves with people with integrity, flexibility and ethics, friends that make you laugh and focus on life, but if you fall will always hold out a hand to help you back up, <<-- [.]
(Pick one POV and stick with it. For example:
We try to surround ourselves with people of integrity, people with flexibility and ethics, friends that make us laugh and focus on life, who hold out a hand to help us back up if we fall.
or
You try to surround yourself with people of integrity, people with flexibility and ethics, friends that make you laugh and focus on life, who hold out a hand to help you back up if you fail.
)
2. This is a short essay. It is neither a poem nor prose poetry.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thanks
Comment from Andrewajgblue
I really liked the sentiment you were conveying which is why I gave it 5 stars , because it's so true , I'm not sure what style of poetry it is , as it seemed more like a story than a poem , but I loved your word , thank you
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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I really liked the sentiment you were conveying which is why I gave it 5 stars , because it's so true , I'm not sure what style of poetry it is , as it seemed more like a story than a poem , but I loved your word , thank you
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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welcome
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welcome
Comment from dennis0530
This is a social commentary writing as well.
The first line is stated with regret. It is about "good-weather friends." They will enjoy the sun with you but won't share their umbrella even if they find you soaking in the rain. These are the double-faced people who pretend to be friends. But positively, this is a good method for selecting real friends. Pretend you are poor and down and find out who stays with you.
Compassion is rare these days with most people running after their own interests and well-being.
A few real friends are more desirable to many who are there only in the good times.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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This is a social commentary writing as well.
The first line is stated with regret. It is about "good-weather friends." They will enjoy the sun with you but won't share their umbrella even if they find you soaking in the rain. These are the double-faced people who pretend to be friends. But positively, this is a good method for selecting real friends. Pretend you are poor and down and find out who stays with you.
Compassion is rare these days with most people running after their own interests and well-being.
A few real friends are more desirable to many who are there only in the good times.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2014
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thank you
