A tourist in my own backyard
A quest29 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Stunning theme per title and first line--star-worthy in itself. Poignant musings well-suited to free verse.
(seems and feels: redundant--pick one; "solvent" is not apt for solution in the sense used)
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Stunning theme per title and first line--star-worthy in itself. Poignant musings well-suited to free verse.
(seems and feels: redundant--pick one; "solvent" is not apt for solution in the sense used)
Comment Written 19-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Elizabeth, for your very kind assessment of my free verse style. I am glad you liked the title and first line. I appreciate your suggestions for changes and will take them into consideration. Thank you for your helpful and positive review. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Boogienights
I love this poem and in reading your notes, I understand what you are relating to the reader. You must understand how you are, and you will be able to accept who you are. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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I love this poem and in reading your notes, I understand what you are relating to the reader. You must understand how you are, and you will be able to accept who you are. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this positive and encouraging review. I appreciate your insights and agree with you. Understanding leads to acceptance...this is so true. Thank you for this excellent review. Have a pleasant day and upcoming weekend.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Wendy G
Lovely poem, and well written. This sense of not quite being at one with one's surroundings and longing for that sense of peace and content, and freedom, has been beautifully expressed.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Lovely poem, and well written. This sense of not quite being at one with one's surroundings and longing for that sense of peace and content, and freedom, has been beautifully expressed.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much, Wendy, for your kind and thoughtful review. It feels good to be understood and appreciated. Have a wonderful weekend and Thanksgiving celebration.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from Gloria ....
I must enjoy your fine use of poetic ambiguity in this piece, Jesse. It could be as real as literal or metaphor. A change has occurred that has led you to feel alienated, even in your own backyard, or those situations in which you should feel at home, and yet a generalized anxiety prevents that sense of belonging and safety from happening.
A most enjoyable read today and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2020
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I must enjoy your fine use of poetic ambiguity in this piece, Jesse. It could be as real as literal or metaphor. A change has occurred that has led you to feel alienated, even in your own backyard, or those situations in which you should feel at home, and yet a generalized anxiety prevents that sense of belonging and safety from happening.
A most enjoyable read today and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much, Gloria, for recognizing the ambiguity of the literal versus metaphorical intentions of this poem. My life is going through extreme changes which I must respond to quickly and efficiently. Meanwhile, my insomnia prevents me from the sharp quick-witted thinking I need in order to solve pressing issues in my life. Although I have much-needed support, the final decisions must come from within, so I feel a stranger in my daily living situations. Thank you for letting me share. Writing this and posting it on FS helps considerably and I am doubly thankful for caring people such as you. Thanks for the sixer. It was a needed shot in the arm.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
You do a great job with your thoughtful self-reflection free verse. My favorite line was:
"I am delicately discerning this dilemma" and you used alliteration well throughout. I also liked the ending where through self-awareness led to self-confidence and self-worth.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2020
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You do a great job with your thoughtful self-reflection free verse. My favorite line was:
"I am delicately discerning this dilemma" and you used alliteration well throughout. I also liked the ending where through self-awareness led to self-confidence and self-worth.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this wonderfully thoughtful review. I like how you picked out the alliteration and chose your favorite line. You totally understood the meaning and transformation that happens in the last verse. Thank you for your insights and caring review.
Have a beautiful day.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from mermaids
I enjoyed reading your words and I think your words are familiar to many. How often we are "a tourist in our own backyard". I like your last verse that creates a happy scene and is a beautiful vision. Excellent free verse form that adds to your theme.
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I enjoyed reading your words and I think your words are familiar to many. How often we are "a tourist in our own backyard". I like your last verse that creates a happy scene and is a beautiful vision. Excellent free verse form that adds to your theme.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello Jessie,
What an emotional poem of compassion? I am sorry you feel like a tourist in your own backyard. What an awful feeling to have and feel, Jessie? This was an enjoyable read from beginning to end. I see you have self-observation about your life, which is good. We all should be aware of our surrounding. That's how we make sound decisions. Nicely written.
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Hello Jessie,
What an emotional poem of compassion? I am sorry you feel like a tourist in your own backyard. What an awful feeling to have and feel, Jessie? This was an enjoyable read from beginning to end. I see you have self-observation about your life, which is good. We all should be aware of our surrounding. That's how we make sound decisions. Nicely written.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your premise and "self-observation" of being a "tourist" in your own backyard. I appreciated your candor and especially liked your happy ending! Cheers- Joan
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I admired your premise and "self-observation" of being a "tourist" in your own backyard. I appreciated your candor and especially liked your happy ending! Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
Comment from robyn corum
Jesse,
Hmmm... I must be honest and tell you that I just didn't get the message of this one. But then, I'm not even sure I'm supposed to. It sounds like you are kinda thinking out loud, studying something over and we're only given glimpses of what that might be.
Thanks for sharing and good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Jesse,
Hmmm... I must be honest and tell you that I just didn't get the message of this one. But then, I'm not even sure I'm supposed to. It sounds like you are kinda thinking out loud, studying something over and we're only given glimpses of what that might be.
Thanks for sharing and good luck!
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Thank you for sharing your views on my poem, and for taking the time to let me know. I appreciate your wish for luck and wish you a happy Thanksgiving holiday.
Take care,
Jesse
Comment from rama devi
Good morning, Jesse. I've been wondering how you are faring.
I love the title and first line: I am a tourist in my own backyard.
Powerful!
Poignant lines:
And yet, here I am,
surrounded by caring people
who don't know how to help me.
Couple of suggestions:
*
Instead of soaking up my surroundings,
the opposite appears to be the case,(; or --)
why I just can't sit and relax is difficult to embrace.
*Hoping to find a solution solvent enough
T(t)o satisfy everyone--
A(a)t best, an improbability.
* A keen sense of freedom overtakes me,(NO COMMA)
as she honors me with newly discovered pride.
Good voicing and flow, overall.
Expressive poem.
Warmly, rd
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Good morning, Jesse. I've been wondering how you are faring.
I love the title and first line: I am a tourist in my own backyard.
Powerful!
Poignant lines:
And yet, here I am,
surrounded by caring people
who don't know how to help me.
Couple of suggestions:
*
Instead of soaking up my surroundings,
the opposite appears to be the case,(; or --)
why I just can't sit and relax is difficult to embrace.
*Hoping to find a solution solvent enough
T(t)o satisfy everyone--
A(a)t best, an improbability.
* A keen sense of freedom overtakes me,(NO COMMA)
as she honors me with newly discovered pride.
Good voicing and flow, overall.
Expressive poem.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 18-Nov-2020
