Yogi Bear
So much smarter than average!17 total reviews
Comment from WriterHeather
OMG I love everything about this! I especially love that you have included the theme song in your presentation! I am very impressed! If you don't win then I don't even know what!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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OMG I love everything about this! I especially love that you have included the theme song in your presentation! I am very impressed! If you don't win then I don't even know what!
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this wonderful 6 star review, it's so exciting. :)
Comment from Patricia Cammish
Lovely combination of illustration and straight from the heart text.
Your chosen iambic pentameter is totally appropriate to the mood of the poem but has some extra stresses/irregularities, lines 4,8,11,16,17,20, 21,23 which is a shame as these detract from the successfully driving pulse of the meter.
These can mostly be solved with simple rearrangement of words and some substitutions. Some ideas below..
eg 'favorite' --- 'best'
strong penchant --- taste
On Saturdays, I always would be there
They don't make cartoons so good like that now. (Also gets rid of 2x 'just' in same stanza)
Your penultimate line ..cartoons ---- films
Or change to 'I wish that Yogi still was on TV'
Just a thought, I do hope this is useful.
Best wishes for the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Lovely combination of illustration and straight from the heart text.
Your chosen iambic pentameter is totally appropriate to the mood of the poem but has some extra stresses/irregularities, lines 4,8,11,16,17,20, 21,23 which is a shame as these detract from the successfully driving pulse of the meter.
These can mostly be solved with simple rearrangement of words and some substitutions. Some ideas below..
eg 'favorite' --- 'best'
strong penchant --- taste
On Saturdays, I always would be there
They don't make cartoons so good like that now. (Also gets rid of 2x 'just' in same stanza)
Your penultimate line ..cartoons ---- films
Or change to 'I wish that Yogi still was on TV'
Just a thought, I do hope this is useful.
Best wishes for the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Thank you for reading and for your helpful suggestions. I really appreciate it. :)
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, this does bring back memories of Saturday mornings. It was such a different world. Yogi was a favourite around the world. A well written poem capturing that cartoon spirit, with a style of writing that suits a cartoon poem.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Yes, this does bring back memories of Saturday mornings. It was such a different world. Yogi was a favourite around the world. A well written poem capturing that cartoon spirit, with a style of writing that suits a cartoon poem.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this very nice review, it's nice to hear from you. :)
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Yes, Yogi Bear was way smarter than the average bear, the average
park ranger, and the average visitor to the park. Saturday morning
cartoons when I was growing up in the 50s and early 60s were the
absolute best. Good luck in the contest.
Rdfrdmom2
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Yes, Yogi Bear was way smarter than the average bear, the average
park ranger, and the average visitor to the park. Saturday morning
cartoons when I was growing up in the 50s and early 60s were the
absolute best. Good luck in the contest.
Rdfrdmom2
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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I agree, what great memories this brought back to me. I miss watching yogi. Thanks for reading my poem. :)
Comment from AprilViolet
You hit it out of the (State) park with this one! Yogi bear was one of my favorite cartoons growing up too. They definitely don't make them like they used to! Thank you for bringing back these memories of my childhood!
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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You hit it out of the (State) park with this one! Yogi bear was one of my favorite cartoons growing up too. They definitely don't make them like they used to! Thank you for bringing back these memories of my childhood!
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you for this great review. It makes my day. :)
Comment from Susan Louise Gabriel
A cute poem! You took me back to the days of sitting on the floor, eating cereal and watching Yogi Bear and his antics. It made me want to go to Jellystone Park - but then I eventually DID get to go to Yellowstone. Alas, Yogi wasn't there!
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Susan
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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A cute poem! You took me back to the days of sitting on the floor, eating cereal and watching Yogi Bear and his antics. It made me want to go to Jellystone Park - but then I eventually DID get to go to Yellowstone. Alas, Yogi wasn't there!
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Susan
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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I haven't gone to Yellowstone or met Yogi...dang! Thank you so much for reading my poem. :)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Hooray for Yogi in Jellystone... good thing he had lil' Boo-Boo to keep him in line, yeah? ;) :) Thanx so much for the fun trip down memory lane this morning (you know, when TV was actually entertaining?!) and for the smiles you've given us for the day! :) Best of luck at the polls! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Hooray for Yogi in Jellystone... good thing he had lil' Boo-Boo to keep him in line, yeah? ;) :) Thanx so much for the fun trip down memory lane this morning (you know, when TV was actually entertaining?!) and for the smiles you've given us for the day! :) Best of luck at the polls! ;)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
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Thank you for such a nice review...writing this brought back a lot of memories. :)
