I wish
Life in plastic17 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
This is a clever story-What a fun idea that we could wish for a new identity just by saying so three times before bed! Creatively written with well stated feelings.
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This is a clever story-What a fun idea that we could wish for a new identity just by saying so three times before bed! Creatively written with well stated feelings.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
Comment from Wendy G
Never mind the broken French and Spanish, it's still a fun piece, and you wrote it well. Just the right length to keep the interest as well. Best wishes for the contest.
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Never mind the broken French and Spanish, it's still a fun piece, and you wrote it well. Just the right length to keep the interest as well. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
The initial desire of this piece was very clear and tightly written. It was when the narrator woke up in the morning that I became a little confused. Physically she did not seem to have changed and yet apart from that she had acquired all the attributes she was seeking. However, she still made several references to being in her own house, surrounded by her own belongings. I think this piece could benefit from a tiny bit more polishing.
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The initial desire of this piece was very clear and tightly written. It was when the narrator woke up in the morning that I became a little confused. Physically she did not seem to have changed and yet apart from that she had acquired all the attributes she was seeking. However, she still made several references to being in her own house, surrounded by her own belongings. I think this piece could benefit from a tiny bit more polishing.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2021
Comment from R.A. Fende
Aha, the celebrity switch! Taking the jump to have it all instantly is a wish I've had once or twice. However, I think you handled that transfer well. By setting up the main character to be in her forties, it emphasizes her implicit development. She truly believes she deserves to switch places since she's worked hard and made her life already.
However, I do have a gripe with the ending. When the main character acknowledged JayLo being in the main character's body, I almost wanted her to explore that thought process. How does she feel knowing JayLo is parading around in her body, interacting with her family, and trying to navigate this new life? Otherwise, this is wonderful work!
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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Aha, the celebrity switch! Taking the jump to have it all instantly is a wish I've had once or twice. However, I think you handled that transfer well. By setting up the main character to be in her forties, it emphasizes her implicit development. She truly believes she deserves to switch places since she's worked hard and made her life already.
However, I do have a gripe with the ending. When the main character acknowledged JayLo being in the main character's body, I almost wanted her to explore that thought process. How does she feel knowing JayLo is parading around in her body, interacting with her family, and trying to navigate this new life? Otherwise, this is wonderful work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Thank you, and I will explore that suggestion after the contest:)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Delightfully clever--vivid fantasy piece many will surely relate to!
They say if you [repeating=>REPEAT] your wish
I never had [many and. Pedi=>mani and pedi]
And the food, whether IT is cerdo, Pesca, and polio, [OMITso all] is good.
Wow, the fridge [it's=>IS] a mini restaurant!
Poor Jenny [COMMA] the only thing she got from this exchange [it's=>IS] my poor white privilege.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Delightfully clever--vivid fantasy piece many will surely relate to!
They say if you [repeating=>REPEAT] your wish
I never had [many and. Pedi=>mani and pedi]
And the food, whether IT is cerdo, Pesca, and polio, [OMITso all] is good.
Wow, the fridge [it's=>IS] a mini restaurant!
Poor Jenny [COMMA] the only thing she got from this exchange [it's=>IS] my poor white privilege.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Good Evening Liz:) thank you for the bottom of my heart for supporting this piece:)
Comment from Gloria ....
Jennifer Lopez is someone to be when one is looking for a new identity.
You drew me right into your story with emotional tone, and the ending is fabulous with the abrupt disappearance.
Very creative and a fine read this evening. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Jennifer Lopez is someone to be when one is looking for a new identity.
You drew me right into your story with emotional tone, and the ending is fabulous with the abrupt disappearance.
Very creative and a fine read this evening. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much Ms. Gloria:)
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is the most interesting take on the contest. Many wish that they live the lives of celebrities. But God only gave us one, and we should live it proudly, with no regrets. Every day is precious and we should be grateful to the creator that He gave us this life.
I enjoyed your humor, whimsy and a great choice of an artwork. Good luck in contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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This is the most interesting take on the contest. Many wish that they live the lives of celebrities. But God only gave us one, and we should live it proudly, with no regrets. Every day is precious and we should be grateful to the creator that He gave us this life.
I enjoyed your humor, whimsy and a great choice of an artwork. Good luck in contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much for taking a chance on this piece:)