Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Betrayal Chapter 36"In the title.
36 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
The hurricane has passed, but this chapter appears to be the calm before the storm. If Reg could get a get a pilot to go to the island, there's no telling what Rapier might do. Wouldn't it be ironic if Grant & co. went to the mainland in search of Max, while Max went to the island, like ships passing in the night.
I think Tania and Monica are up to the task, with a little help from Jose.
Woman's power and smart! :)
Either way, you've laid the ground work for the confrontation very well.
Excellent chapter.
Looking forward to the next one.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Hello Sandra,
The hurricane has passed, but this chapter appears to be the calm before the storm. If Reg could get a get a pilot to go to the island, there's no telling what Rapier might do. Wouldn't it be ironic if Grant & co. went to the mainland in search of Max, while Max went to the island, like ships passing in the night.
I think Tania and Monica are up to the task, with a little help from Jose.
Woman's power and smart! :)
Either way, you've laid the ground work for the confrontation very well.
Excellent chapter.
Looking forward to the next one.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Sometimes I think you are either inside my brain, or you've been over and whilst I wasn't looking and read my notes. Your not 100% right, but you're quite warm! Lol. Thank you so much for another lovely review, Robert, and for the shiny sixth star. I'm glad you are still liking this story. Warm hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's actually nice to get a break now and then from all the action; although, I'm sure it won't last long. I know the author . . . and she's one of those get it and go action gals. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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It's actually nice to get a break now and then from all the action; although, I'm sure it won't last long. I know the author . . . and she's one of those get it and go action gals. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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As if.... Lol. I'm one of those gentle ladies, candyfloss and puppys. You know me too well now, my friend. Thank you so much for the lovely review, and the fun comments. Love you lots!! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Sally Law
Wow, so much going on here even after the hurricane. I worry if Jose is still going to follow through with killing Tania. He seems to be caught between a rock and a hard place, and now among the walking wounded. Great chapter with a lot of tension building. Sending you my best today as always, dear Sandra.
Sal XOs....
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Wow, so much going on here even after the hurricane. I worry if Jose is still going to follow through with killing Tania. He seems to be caught between a rock and a hard place, and now among the walking wounded. Great chapter with a lot of tension building. Sending you my best today as always, dear Sandra.
Sal XOs....
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Aw, thank you so very much, Sal, I really appreciate your lovely review. No, don't forget Peter, he's still there. He's not one of the team and wouldn't leave his wife who has just had his baby. I don't think I mentioned him still being there, now that I think about it. I'll have to put that in.
Thank you also for the shiny sixth star, that was so kind of you. Sending you a warm hug, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ben Colder
I ran out of sixes, and this is a good writer. Much drama, and you leave us in suspense. It would tale much for me not to go, Grant on no Grant. LOL.
Good one, Sandy. You covered a lot of ground.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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I ran out of sixes, and this is a good writer. Much drama, and you leave us in suspense. It would tale much for me not to go, Grant on no Grant. LOL.
Good one, Sandy. You covered a lot of ground.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Hi Chuck, no problem, that's happening to me so much just lately. I'm just so pleased you are still my friend and still reading my story. I@m so glad you are enjoying it. I don't think there will be too many more chapters to go. Sending you love and a huge hug! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
You have set the scene for an interesting showdown in the near future. The troops are marshalled and on the move! I think this calmer chapter works well, giving everyone the chance to take stock before moving on. The scenes of high drama need to be counterbalanced.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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You have set the scene for an interesting showdown in the near future. The troops are marshalled and on the move! I think this calmer chapter works well, giving everyone the chance to take stock before moving on. The scenes of high drama need to be counterbalanced.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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You have just made my day, Tony! I wasn't sure if this part would go down very well being a lot calmer than the last two. But, as you so eloquently say, high drama does need to be counterbalanced. That was just what I needed to hear.
Thank you so much for the shiny sixth star, and this really lovely review. I'm really smiling now. Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from JudyE
Hopefully the team will be able to track down Rapier and rescue Jose's wife and children.
I do have a few suggestions but ignore them if they don't sit well with you.
He'd explained the gash on his head had come from a flying branch, adding it had almost knocked him flying. - I'd try to find another word for one of the 'flying's'
Tania jumped out of the open top jeep, - I think 'open top' should be hyphenated
Grant went over and shook Jeff, Reg and Shadow's hands in turn. - strictly speaking, I think this should be 'Jeff's, Reg's and Shadow's hands in turn'. Maybe 'and shook hands with Jeff, Reg and Shadow' would sound better.
Tania smiled and extended her arm to shake his offered hand. - why is it 'extended her arm'? Because of her injuries? Otherwise, I might have said 'Tania smiled and extended her hand to shake the one offered to her'.
'You kept that quiet!' Jeff told him, slapping Peter on the back - I might have said ''You kept that quiet!' Jeff told Peter, slapping him on the back'
Peter grinned. 'Thanks, Mate! - lower case for 'mate'
'We have to get Rapier away from Anna and her children. - there is an extra space at the beginning.
The sudden flare of anger in his eyes died away, leaving an overwhelming sense of despair in its place. - I think this should be '... look of despair' as you're talking about the emotion in his eyes.
With best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Hopefully the team will be able to track down Rapier and rescue Jose's wife and children.
I do have a few suggestions but ignore them if they don't sit well with you.
He'd explained the gash on his head had come from a flying branch, adding it had almost knocked him flying. - I'd try to find another word for one of the 'flying's'
Tania jumped out of the open top jeep, - I think 'open top' should be hyphenated
Grant went over and shook Jeff, Reg and Shadow's hands in turn. - strictly speaking, I think this should be 'Jeff's, Reg's and Shadow's hands in turn'. Maybe 'and shook hands with Jeff, Reg and Shadow' would sound better.
Tania smiled and extended her arm to shake his offered hand. - why is it 'extended her arm'? Because of her injuries? Otherwise, I might have said 'Tania smiled and extended her hand to shake the one offered to her'.
'You kept that quiet!' Jeff told him, slapping Peter on the back - I might have said ''You kept that quiet!' Jeff told Peter, slapping him on the back'
Peter grinned. 'Thanks, Mate! - lower case for 'mate'
'We have to get Rapier away from Anna and her children. - there is an extra space at the beginning.
The sudden flare of anger in his eyes died away, leaving an overwhelming sense of despair in its place. - I think this should be '... look of despair' as you're talking about the emotion in his eyes.
With best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Judy for this lovely, helpful review! I'm so glad you still enjoy reading it.
And thank you so much for picking up those naughty nits and the suggestions, Judy! I've made the corrections. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Sanku
Poor Jose. His despair is understandable. I hope Grant and team will get his family out from the clutches of kidnapper. As usual a lovely chapter and relaxing.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Poor Jose. His despair is understandable. I hope Grant and team will get his family out from the clutches of kidnapper. As usual a lovely chapter and relaxing.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Thank you so much, Sanku, for another lovely review. I tried to put myself in his position, and even though I'm a woman, I'd want to go and find my family, too!! Have a lovely day, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from Sankey
Hi there. I have not been around your stuff in a long time. I think we are friends on Facebook from memory? I will add you to my list of prose writers I like to keep up with. Prose is my preference but I read the odd poem. Good work hope to catch up back a bit later. No spags.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Hi there. I have not been around your stuff in a long time. I think we are friends on Facebook from memory? I will add you to my list of prose writers I like to keep up with. Prose is my preference but I read the odd poem. Good work hope to catch up back a bit later. No spags.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Hi Sankey, I thought you'd left the site. I haven't had any messages for ages. I'll have to go and look in your portfolio. Thank you so much for coming and reading this part, that is so nice of you. I hope everything is well for you and your wife? No covid problems? You take care, my friend. It was lovely hearing from you. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
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Yeah for 2 years someone paid for me to stay and I renewed for 2 years recently so now I have 29 months paid up with FS.
Comment from Cindy Warren
If I were Jose, I'd be mad too. Rapier threatened his wife and kids, and tried to turn him into a killer. I can see why he wants to get his hands on him, but they're also good reasons why he shouldn't.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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If I were Jose, I'd be mad too. Rapier threatened his wife and kids, and tried to turn him into a killer. I can see why he wants to get his hands on him, but they're also good reasons why he shouldn't.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Hi Cindy, thank you so much for another lovely review. Yes, I can understand Jose, but he has some terrible injuries and should be in hospital, and will be, soon. Thank you, my friend, I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my story. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Jay Squires
Ah, Sandra. That was a very touching chapter, with Jose being forgiven and yet demanding to go with them to make sure his wife and children are safe. You've done such a fine job slowly developing the characters initially, that their motivation for whatever action makes perfect sense. Congratulations on a fine chapter.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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Ah, Sandra. That was a very touching chapter, with Jose being forgiven and yet demanding to go with them to make sure his wife and children are safe. You've done such a fine job slowly developing the characters initially, that their motivation for whatever action makes perfect sense. Congratulations on a fine chapter.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2021
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What a huge compliment! And coming from you, Jay, whom I regard as a top notch author, makes me feel so very humbled. Thank you so very much. That you read my story is an honour. Thank you for this really lovely review, and the sixth shiny star, my dear friend. You have made my day! Warm hugs and love. Sandra xxx
