Reviews from

tanka prose (dawn)

tanka prose

37 total reviews 
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a well written Tanka Prose combo and I enjoyed it.
I brought back memories of my own about the many mornings awakening on the water when we had our cabin cruiser on Lake Meade and the Colorado river. Well done . Nancy:)

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021

    wisps of fog
    pirouette on still water
    sunrise
    rainbow trout
    sizzle over the campfire

reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
    Thank you Nancy for the wonderful review. I'm glad it brought back memories of your cabin cruiser on Lake Meade and the Colorado River. How delightful.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from MissMerri
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Janet, you did an excellent job of recreating the moment, the feel and the sensations of the beautiful scenes of nature, the sense of the stillness in the quiet morning and the smell of the cooking trout. I felt as if I too, were there in the chilly morning. The tanka was a satisfying ending to the exemplary prose writing. A very enjoyable read. MM

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you MM for the wonderful review and the special sixth star. Your kind comments mean the world to me.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from Senyai
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Janet,

Oh, I love this! I feel as though I was there at the lake with you in this beautiful Tanka Prose. I'm learning so many poetry forms on FanStory ... such a treat.

This form is new to me, so I see the rules are fairly strict. Explain, if you would, what the short-long-short-long-long format entails. Is that the stress on the syllables?

Great poem with vivid imagery and emotional pull that draws the reader into the world that the author conveys.

Have a great week,
Senyai

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 29-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the wonderful review. The tanka prose is a delightful form and I think you would enjoy writing it. There are a lot or rules so it is challenging but fun to write.

    The tanka has 31 syllables or LESS. Mine has 27 syllables but there is no stress to the lines

    the 1st line is short
    the 2nd line is long
    the 3rd line is short
    the 4th line is long
    the 5th line is long.

    wisps of fog
    pirouette on still water
    sunrise
    rainbow trout
    sizzle over the campfire

    I hope that helped.

    Blessings
    Janet

reply by Senyai on 30-Jul-2021
    Hi Janet, your explanation helped so much!! Thanks❤️
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This has a classic feel to it. Elegant. A very impressive poem, capturing Mother nature's good mood!:). A very creative and skillfully written poem. Well done! You have crafted it with skill and care. T

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very impressive poem, capturing the moment in a beautiful way. You have crafted it with skill and care. The scenery is so well described in the prose section as well as the sounds, the fish, everything. The tanka is a perfect ending. Well done!

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you Wendy for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I could smell this precious and delicious breakfast here in your fine Tanka, the outdoors beckons us to enjoy nature and its delights, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you Dolly for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from jake cosmos aller
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like this poem about a lake in the woods in North Carolina mountains. You capture the sprit of watching the loons flying over the lake. I like the poem as well as the prose.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you Jake for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Elegant and evocative--stunning prose concludes with lovely tanka. This would have been a contender in a contest!


The sound of the wild permeates my senses as it echoes along the shore [SUGG OMIT again].

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments an. d I think you're right and I omitted 'again' from that line.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sounds like you have a piece of heaven right here on earth. I am not much for outdoor living, or life in the wild, but I certainly would not mind trying out a day or two of the scenario you so wonderfully described. You made it seem very real to me, so much so that you excited my desire to try it out possibly.

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you nomi for the wonderful review and extra star. I greatly appreciate you kind comments. I'm not so much a wilderness girl anymore but I used to love it, especially when by children where young.

    Blessings
    Janet
Comment from Jarvis Popovich
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great imagery, and story here. I would love to be in this scene. I'll bet you love it too. It met the requirements and combination of prose and rhyme worked.

Thanks for writing!

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
    Thank you Jarvis for the wonderful review. I greatly appreciate you kind comments.

    Blessings
    Janet