Message in a Bottle
3.7.5 entry12 total reviews
Comment from RodG
You pack a lot of narrative into this short poem, but it should be able to stand alone without the picture. The reader should know that the "I" is a bottle with a message. This can be remedied with "bottle" as part of your title. On the other hand, if this is SOMEONE who got tossed into the sea, I understand how his fate might affect others. Either way, I'd change the title.
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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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You pack a lot of narrative into this short poem, but it should be able to stand alone without the picture. The reader should know that the "I" is a bottle with a message. This can be remedied with "bottle" as part of your title. On the other hand, if this is SOMEONE who got tossed into the sea, I understand how his fate might affect others. Either way, I'd change the title.
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Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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Thank you for your review and suggestion. I actually wasn't sure about the title. It will be changed.
Comment from royowen
There's one thing about a sealed bottle at the mercy of the sea's whim, the wind, the constant movement of the current, the storms all have an affect as to where it beaches..,then the message! Beautifully written, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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There's one thing about a sealed bottle at the mercy of the sea's whim, the wind, the constant movement of the current, the storms all have an affect as to where it beaches..,then the message! Beautifully written, blessings Roy
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Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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Thanks very much for your review.
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Welcome
