Mr. Grunty Goes Missing
We don't know what we've got til it's gone. (436 words)19 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you show us the understanding parents because the mother also went through a difficult loss. At least, finding a bear is still possible and I liked how all "four" hugged at the end, appreciating each other.
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I like how you show us the understanding parents because the mother also went through a difficult loss. At least, finding a bear is still possible and I liked how all "four" hugged at the end, appreciating each other.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I wondered who might notice there were four in the group hug at the end.... I am not surprised it was you, my observant and loving friend.
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That was a sweet touch! 💖
Comment from robyn corum
LisaMay,
I like this story. Nice and simple with a good morale. We really don't appreciate what we have until we love it for a bit. Then, hopefully - if we are really, really lucky - we can get it back and love it the way it should be loved. Just as you showed us here. *smile* Nice job!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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LisaMay,
I like this story. Nice and simple with a good morale. We really don't appreciate what we have until we love it for a bit. Then, hopefully - if we are really, really lucky - we can get it back and love it the way it should be loved. Just as you showed us here. *smile* Nice job!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your warm comments. There are so many stories about dysfunctional family life that I just wanted to write a simple story of love where the parents put the child's happiness first.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A sweet and lovely story. You gave and showed parents who responded to their child's cries rather than let her cry it out.
They worked together, one cooking, one going out to look for the bear as a unit for their child's happiness.
Well done.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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A sweet and lovely story. You gave and showed parents who responded to their child's cries rather than let her cry it out.
They worked together, one cooking, one going out to look for the bear as a unit for their child's happiness.
Well done.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your warm review! You noted the points I wished to get across to readers.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love this happy ending! The parents decided it was too early for Jasmine to learn that you don't know what you've got until it's gone so the mother went back to the shopping center and finally found the bear Jasmine had realized was her favorite after all. How very kind of her parents. You told the story well and I enjoyed reading this one very much!
Jesse
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I love this happy ending! The parents decided it was too early for Jasmine to learn that you don't know what you've got until it's gone so the mother went back to the shopping center and finally found the bear Jasmine had realized was her favorite after all. How very kind of her parents. You told the story well and I enjoyed reading this one very much!
Jesse
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I know you are a sucker for a happy ending, Jesse. Thank you for your warm reception to this story.
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Yes, I am a sucker for a happy ending. I always try to look at the positive side of things.
Take care, my friend,
Jesse
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a cute, well-formatted story. I especially liked the use of the baby talk (very appealing), and wished you'd used it totally at the end (best crept in). Any reason why not? Kate xx
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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This is a cute, well-formatted story. I especially liked the use of the baby talk (very appealing), and wished you'd used it totally at the end (best crept in). Any reason why not? Kate xx
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I thought using 'bestest' for all the 'bests' might overdo it. I wanted it to be saved for the bear. Do you think it should be consistent?
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Your call. I just found it endearing
Comment from royowen
There's nothing better than the love of the family. This is such a lovely story Jenny, the narrative is sensitive and highly desirable in a family setting such as this. Beautifully written My friend, blessings Roy
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There's nothing better than the love of the family. This is such a lovely story Jenny, the narrative is sensitive and highly desirable in a family setting such as this. Beautifully written My friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A sweet write and there is always a drama when kids lose their favourite toys they cling to and my granddaughter is encouraged to leave all her toys tucked up in bed waiting for her to return from school! No chance of losing any of them. A fun write Lisa, love Dolly x
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A sweet write and there is always a drama when kids lose their favourite toys they cling to and my granddaughter is encouraged to leave all her toys tucked up in bed waiting for her to return from school! No chance of losing any of them. A fun write Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
Comment from kiwisteveh
Oh, dear. Fergy Fox got losted in a Singapore hotel one day! the child was nine so not quite the same floods of tears as wee Jasmine, but it was our first week in a strange and slightly terrifying (to a small town kid) place.
And yes, we had to return to the scene of the crime and find the poor lost toy which had been made by his Gran years before.
Sweet tale with a strong message and maybe sidesteps the writing prompt a little!
I have a sweet teddybear poem in my portfolio somewhere... I'll see if I can dig it up.
There's no time to waste for the fun has begun
With the first gentle gleams of the soft morning sun.
We spring out of bed, my mistress and me,
She flings on some clothes, the first that we see.
Off to the kitchen we scamper and scurry;
Breakfast is gobbled right down in a hurry.
"Mummy, my Teddy and I will be playing
Outside in the garden," I hear Molly saying.
"We'll prob'ly be busy; I hope you don't mind.
There's pirates to battle and treasure to find."
"Blackbeard again!" I think with a chuckle.
"Oh where is my swash? Oh, where is my buckle?"
The morning flies past in the blink of an eye;
What adventures we shared in, my Molly and I.
What booty we plundered, what galleons we sank!
Though my fur's a bit wet - that's from walking the plank.
But the brigands were beaten - piratical bunch-
And we scuppered the lot just in time for our lunch!
But now it is tea-time, let's bring out the china;
There's two guests invited, just me and Jemima,
And Molly plays Mother, she's pouring the tea,
So there's one cup for dolly and two cups for me;
With mud-pies for afters, Jemima looks pained;
The one-eyed old biddy doesn't want to get stained.
The day's almost over, we trudge up the path,
And Mother is calling, "It's time for your bath!"
There's jam on my jacket and mud on my nose,
Would a teddy fit into the tub, do you s'pose?
Now into our 'jamas and ready for bed;
Is there time for one story for Molly and Ted?
We snuggle up tightly, the moon shines its beams
On Molly and Teddy, together in dreams.
Good luck.
Steve
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Oh, dear. Fergy Fox got losted in a Singapore hotel one day! the child was nine so not quite the same floods of tears as wee Jasmine, but it was our first week in a strange and slightly terrifying (to a small town kid) place.
And yes, we had to return to the scene of the crime and find the poor lost toy which had been made by his Gran years before.
Sweet tale with a strong message and maybe sidesteps the writing prompt a little!
I have a sweet teddybear poem in my portfolio somewhere... I'll see if I can dig it up.
There's no time to waste for the fun has begun
With the first gentle gleams of the soft morning sun.
We spring out of bed, my mistress and me,
She flings on some clothes, the first that we see.
Off to the kitchen we scamper and scurry;
Breakfast is gobbled right down in a hurry.
"Mummy, my Teddy and I will be playing
Outside in the garden," I hear Molly saying.
"We'll prob'ly be busy; I hope you don't mind.
There's pirates to battle and treasure to find."
"Blackbeard again!" I think with a chuckle.
"Oh where is my swash? Oh, where is my buckle?"
The morning flies past in the blink of an eye;
What adventures we shared in, my Molly and I.
What booty we plundered, what galleons we sank!
Though my fur's a bit wet - that's from walking the plank.
But the brigands were beaten - piratical bunch-
And we scuppered the lot just in time for our lunch!
But now it is tea-time, let's bring out the china;
There's two guests invited, just me and Jemima,
And Molly plays Mother, she's pouring the tea,
So there's one cup for dolly and two cups for me;
With mud-pies for afters, Jemima looks pained;
The one-eyed old biddy doesn't want to get stained.
The day's almost over, we trudge up the path,
And Mother is calling, "It's time for your bath!"
There's jam on my jacket and mud on my nose,
Would a teddy fit into the tub, do you s'pose?
Now into our 'jamas and ready for bed;
Is there time for one story for Molly and Ted?
We snuggle up tightly, the moon shines its beams
On Molly and Teddy, together in dreams.
Good luck.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Fergy Fox was off having his own adventure for a while it seems.
Thanks for digging up that cute poem from your portfolio - I really enjoyed it. "Oh where is my swash? Oh, where is my buckle?"
Comment from Wendy G
A lovely story! And very pertinent to children, and parents!. I have had a few such experiences. I like that you took the theme of love from a different angle. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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A lovely story! And very pertinent to children, and parents!. I have had a few such experiences. I like that you took the theme of love from a different angle. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thanks Wendy. I tried to show each of the characters in my story showing love in different ways.
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Yes, and you succeeded. I felt glad they didn't get cross with the child, but could understand her distress and each did what they could to help.
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I'm glad you commented on the parents not getting cross with the child. I put in that dad had come home from night shift, so he had a good reason to be a bit grumpy at being disturbed, and mum had to go back out in the rain to look for the bear, but both did what they had to do to placate the upset child.
