Feeling Lucky
One small step for mankind...15 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
You've set the scene and the romantic mood beautifully here, with lovely descriptions. I liked the brief pause for reassurance before popping the question.
There are corrections to make in the last line:
Assured, I kneel, ring in hand, and pop the question."(remove these speech marks) You respond, "I will," (change the comma to a full stop)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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You've set the scene and the romantic mood beautifully here, with lovely descriptions. I liked the brief pause for reassurance before popping the question.
There are corrections to make in the last line:
Assured, I kneel, ring in hand, and pop the question."(remove these speech marks) You respond, "I will," (change the comma to a full stop)
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Corrections noted and made, plus one, gaze in para 3 was past and should have been present.
Comment from Ricky1024
"Feeling Lucky" Is 75 Word Story writing prompt entree.
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Good luck with this one.
Doctor Ricky 1024
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"Feeling Lucky" Is 75 Word Story writing prompt entree.
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Good luck with this one.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
Comment from Raul1
It is interesting and a very romantic story. This story meets the requirements for the contest. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I have enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing!
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It is interesting and a very romantic story. This story meets the requirements for the contest. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I have enjoyed reading your story. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
He chooses correctly and wins a bride. Nice little story with so few words to use. You have done well, although I wonder if dropping to one knee isn't the more correct pose of a suitor.
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reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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He chooses correctly and wins a bride. Nice little story with so few words to use. You have done well, although I wonder if dropping to one knee isn't the more correct pose of a suitor.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022
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Maybe but if that is done I fall short a word.
Comment from lancellot
This is very good. I would recheck the tense in the third paragraph, just to make sure you don't slip from present to past.
also:
Assured, I kneel, ring in hand, and pop the question." You respond, "I will,"
- Edit this last bit.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
This is very good. I would recheck the tense in the third paragraph, just to make sure you don't slip from present to past.
also:
Assured, I kneel, ring in hand, and pop the question." You respond, "I will,"
- Edit this last bit.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
