Moths on the Breeze
A matter of scale in 5-7-5 syllables.13 total reviews
Comment from Scott Rhodie
Something I've learned today from you about sailing yachts. From a distance they will at night not necessarily look they are, and this is again something I've never thought about. Every days a school day. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
Something I've learned today from you about sailing yachts. From a distance they will at night not necessarily look they are, and this is again something I've never thought about. Every days a school day. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thanks Scott - I appreciate your review. I think other people's writing often opens our own eyes to see things differently.
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No problem.
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is an immensely strong visual, bringing to mind reflecting wings and shadow-bourne movements in the moonlight. With the aid of your notes, I see the additional texture as well :-)
Mike
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
This is an immensely strong visual, bringing to mind reflecting wings and shadow-bourne movements in the moonlight. With the aid of your notes, I see the additional texture as well :-)
Mike
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Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your review - there was a sailing regatta recently and I was struck by the small fleet looking like wings.
Comment from mermaids
I like the image of the sails as night time moths. It is a unique description that captures clearly how the sails move, like a moth. Excellent haiku form and use of words that takes the reader out into nature.
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
I like the image of the sails as night time moths. It is a unique description that captures clearly how the sails move, like a moth. Excellent haiku form and use of words that takes the reader out into nature.
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Comment Written 07-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your lovely response to my poem.