New Mom
It's a miracle being a...12 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
Holding a sleeping infant or just watching one is always an experience: new life, so small, so vulnerable. In a 3-5-3 poem it's difficult to capture the edges, the subtleties of a narrator's feelings. However, there is strong feeling, and that could've been communicated more interestingly than by a line as direct as "It thrills me." How about 'Watch her breathing then/ I breathe too" for the last two lines?
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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
Holding a sleeping infant or just watching one is always an experience: new life, so small, so vulnerable. In a 3-5-3 poem it's difficult to capture the edges, the subtleties of a narrator's feelings. However, there is strong feeling, and that could've been communicated more interestingly than by a line as direct as "It thrills me." How about 'Watch her breathing then/ I breathe too" for the last two lines?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem, it's very appreciated.
Comment from Regina Elliott
Hi dear poet, I know the feeling. Motherhood is such
a rewarding life choice. I still
remember my daughter's birth 40 years ago. My very
best wishes for the contest,
and have a wondrous weekend. Blessings ~
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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
Hi dear poet, I know the feeling. Motherhood is such
a rewarding life choice. I still
remember my daughter's birth 40 years ago. My very
best wishes for the contest,
and have a wondrous weekend. Blessings ~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2022
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Thank you, I appreciate this thoughtful review. :)