Darlin', Your Cat Puked!
A look at married life.43 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Terry,
You can substitute a dog for a cat, but dogs are not my area of expertise.- you can never substitute a dog for a cat. Cats are horrible vile creatures and dogs aren't. lol
Our interests distributed our newspaper sections, me the sports, her the living section.
- I'd use dictated rather than distributed here.
The lovely sound of the morning quiet. No television for us in the morning.- In the second sentence, you could omit 'in the morning' as you've used it in the first one and it's just repetitive.
his was our quiet time, - I'd maybe rephrase this as well to avoid the repetition of quiet. this is line three and you use it in line one of this paragraph as well.
The But defense only works - Defense should probably be capitalised here as it's done so earlier.
The But defense only works if you made love to your wife the night before. And it was memorable for her- this made me laugh. I know it's not your intention but referring to buts (I get it hasn't got two ts... however) has certain connotations and it is unfortunate that it's then paired with referring to memorable love making...
The first two secitons are presented ion past tense and then you switch to present tense and second person person narrative from first. It gives an awkwardness to the post.
"Darlin, your cat threw up on your side of the bed." - Darlin' should have an apostrophe here for consistency.
It is quite an entertaining post but I think it needs a bit more ironing out.
G
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reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Hi Terry,
You can substitute a dog for a cat, but dogs are not my area of expertise.- you can never substitute a dog for a cat. Cats are horrible vile creatures and dogs aren't. lol
Our interests distributed our newspaper sections, me the sports, her the living section.
- I'd use dictated rather than distributed here.
The lovely sound of the morning quiet. No television for us in the morning.- In the second sentence, you could omit 'in the morning' as you've used it in the first one and it's just repetitive.
his was our quiet time, - I'd maybe rephrase this as well to avoid the repetition of quiet. this is line three and you use it in line one of this paragraph as well.
The But defense only works - Defense should probably be capitalised here as it's done so earlier.
The But defense only works if you made love to your wife the night before. And it was memorable for her- this made me laugh. I know it's not your intention but referring to buts (I get it hasn't got two ts... however) has certain connotations and it is unfortunate that it's then paired with referring to memorable love making...
The first two secitons are presented ion past tense and then you switch to present tense and second person person narrative from first. It gives an awkwardness to the post.
"Darlin, your cat threw up on your side of the bed." - Darlin' should have an apostrophe here for consistency.
It is quite an entertaining post but I think it needs a bit more ironing out.
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Gareth, thank you for the comments, I was aware of some, and they were done on purpose, others I had not thought about and do deserve some attention. Terry.
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Gareth, FYI, I did make some of the changes in the story per your observations.
The two things I do struggle with that you hammer me is the tense. I need to find me primer on that to help me see it when it happens.
The other is to use less 'was', that is a challenge, but I am at least aware it, thanks to you. Thanks, Terry.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Ha! I loved how you named all the defensive and offensive moves in this piece, Terry. It was an enjoyable read. It's one of the reasons I don't own a cat. Loved it! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Ha! I loved how you named all the defensive and offensive moves in this piece, Terry. It was an enjoyable read. It's one of the reasons I don't own a cat. Loved it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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John, LOL, thank you for the review of my little slice of life humor. Terry
Comment from Liz Westfall
This was funny and enjoyable to read. The certain learned back and forth of marriage were made to be like a sitcom here. I could see this as being a TV episode or something. Nice job!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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This was funny and enjoyable to read. The certain learned back and forth of marriage were made to be like a sitcom here. I could see this as being a TV episode or something. Nice job!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Liz, thanks for reading, but if it was funny, enjoyable to read, and nice job...why was it four? Please help me out. That's what we are supposed to do. Terry.
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I didn't mean it offensively! I'm sorry. I'm new to this site. I did think it was funny, it just isn't my cup of tea. Keep up the good work.
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If it's not your cup of tea, don't read or don't review, this is about writing, evaluate the writing, not what is your cup of tea. Terry.
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I understand this is about writing and the quality of it. You don't need to be condescending. I was being honest. 4 stars is still great. You are doing well on this site.
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Liz, if I was condescending, I apologize. That was not my intent. I wanted to try and educate you. A four is not considered a great rating. If 4 is given, it is assumed something is wrong with the writing, and it is expected suggestions will be given to help improve the writing.
Sometimes you will see opinions that are not something you would agree with. Or humorous stories that are not 'your cup of tea.' In my case, not my glass of whiskey. (No offense).
It may be best for the writer and you to read but not review, That is what I was trying to suggest.
I will read some political positions I do not agree with, sometimes I will review the writing, not the opinion. Sometime, I will skip it.
I really do want you to have a good experience on FanStory, it has helped me be a better writer, and many others I know about think the same.
Good luck, I look forward to reading more of your work. I have read your first two, you got some talent. Terry.
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Thank you. I will be more careful with how I read and rate pieces.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Ah, the sound one least wants to hear when nestled in the marshmallow of half-sleep. Hock, hock, hock ... hockaaarshhhh
This made me smile - I love how you describe the domestic allocations of responsibilities and ways to pass then! In the end, we'll always capitulate to keep them happy, of course.
Mike
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Ah, the sound one least wants to hear when nestled in the marshmallow of half-sleep. Hock, hock, hock ... hockaaarshhhh
This made me smile - I love how you describe the domestic allocations of responsibilities and ways to pass then! In the end, we'll always capitulate to keep them happy, of course.
Mike
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Mike, I just reading one of your poems, thank you for reading my little slice of life humor. Terry.
Comment from Ann M
This is hilarious and very well done! Also supports my current thinking that no other being need share my dwelling.... human nor cat....fish nor fowl.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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This is hilarious and very well done! Also supports my current thinking that no other being need share my dwelling.... human nor cat....fish nor fowl.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Ann, Thank you for reading this little slice of life humor! Terry.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
My spell-checker highlighted (puked) and suggested (vomited) instead. Ahhhh, I don't think so. I think puked is the right word for this instance.
Para 1, 5th sentence: (gold. Or not) should be (gold, or not) (Or not) is not a complete, stand-alone sentence.
Clean sheets, happy ending, is there a little innuendo there?
Great story. Cats, what are you gonna do.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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My spell-checker highlighted (puked) and suggested (vomited) instead. Ahhhh, I don't think so. I think puked is the right word for this instance.
Para 1, 5th sentence: (gold. Or not) should be (gold, or not) (Or not) is not a complete, stand-alone sentence.
Clean sheets, happy ending, is there a little innuendo there?
Great story. Cats, what are you gonna do.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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LOL, Gary, thank you for reading my little slice of life humor. I am aware of the Or Not. But it just sounds better for this piece. Innuendo...that is way too big a word for me. Terry.
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If it wasn't "innuendo" then you knew exactly what your words were suggesting. Very naughty but nice.
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LOL
Comment from nomi338
For clarity's sake allow me to say that I do not hate cats, nor do I love cats, heck I do not even like cats. I have a long standing issue with cats that date back to when I was a mere ten year old, trapped in a house with a grand mother who was a cat hoarder. My whole responsibility was to care for the cats, all of the cats. The only time this was not my job was when I was in school or asleep. Upon waking or returning from school, you are on the clock and something involving a cat requires your immediate attention.
Again, I have issues with cats. I am now in possession of one via my grand daughter who has moved out and has no room for the feline freeloader.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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For clarity's sake allow me to say that I do not hate cats, nor do I love cats, heck I do not even like cats. I have a long standing issue with cats that date back to when I was a mere ten year old, trapped in a house with a grand mother who was a cat hoarder. My whole responsibility was to care for the cats, all of the cats. The only time this was not my job was when I was in school or asleep. Upon waking or returning from school, you are on the clock and something involving a cat requires your immediate attention.
Again, I have issues with cats. I am now in possession of one via my grand daughter who has moved out and has no room for the feline freeloader.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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LOL, I feel your pain! That is a pretty good story, maybe you should write. Thank you for reading my little slice of life humor. Terry.
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I am currently working on my life story and it is in there. I once asked my grand mother to do something about the cats and she said, the cats were here before you came along, deal with it! Grandma was cold.
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Dang!
Comment from evilynne
That is well written and funny with a great deal of truth. Cat puke is nasty. We have one cat, no husband. When Max is a good kitty, he is everyone's cat. When he pukes, he doesn't live here. Sooner or later someone will give up and clean it up. We have to be careful where we all step until then. Evi
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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That is well written and funny with a great deal of truth. Cat puke is nasty. We have one cat, no husband. When Max is a good kitty, he is everyone's cat. When he pukes, he doesn't live here. Sooner or later someone will give up and clean it up. We have to be careful where we all step until then. Evi
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Evi, LOL, Thank you for reading and reviewing, Terry.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is good! LOL I love this story. I love every situation, every word. This sounds like a lovely relationship between husband and wife. A breath of fresh air in this troubled world of broken relationships and heartbreak. Great Job, Terry! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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This is good! LOL I love this story. I love every situation, every word. This sounds like a lovely relationship between husband and wife. A breath of fresh air in this troubled world of broken relationships and heartbreak. Great Job, Terry! Nancy:)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Nancy, thank you for the six stars! LOL, your review makes me smile, Terry.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
What a hilarious story of who will take care of the puke from the cat. It could easily be applied to dogs too. That cat needs to see a Vet ASAP if it is puking as much as it has in the story.
Thank you again for writing a relatable and good story.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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What a hilarious story of who will take care of the puke from the cat. It could easily be applied to dogs too. That cat needs to see a Vet ASAP if it is puking as much as it has in the story.
Thank you again for writing a relatable and good story.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Sandra, thank you for reading my little story of humor. Truth be told, there were four cats that took turns! LOL, Terry.
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You are welcome. That would be three cats too many for me. LOL
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You and Sir Duke! LOL
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Yes, until the end. LOL
