Mourning
A Victorian Woman Moves On15 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This seems like a persona poem, painting the picture of a new widow. It definitely has a twist on the ending.
My favorite line was: I step out of the ashfall, I am reborn.
I rather think, that she wouldn't actually hit herself where a bruise already was.
Also, I think you are missing one word here:
My surname is Bateman,
Which had been my maiden.
I think you meant to say 'maiden name.'
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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This seems like a persona poem, painting the picture of a new widow. It definitely has a twist on the ending.
My favorite line was: I step out of the ashfall, I am reborn.
I rather think, that she wouldn't actually hit herself where a bruise already was.
Also, I think you are missing one word here:
My surname is Bateman,
Which had been my maiden.
I think you meant to say 'maiden name.'
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your kind review. That is my favorite line as well. As to the slap, please re-read that portion as I think you may have misread. There is a deeper meaning there as well that helps it all make sense (or was so intended). As to the "name" insertion, I have been teetering on it since it was written, and it was a good catch. I'm still teetering because I want to keep the contrast between matron and maiden bold. Thanks again!
Comment from royowen
A sweetly written post, with all the expertise of a seasoned writer. Great rhyming, looking through the eyes of a woman with the experience of having had what talkes to live in a man's world. There is nothing more adept than a surging woman. Beautifully writer. Well done, enjoyable, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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A sweetly written post, with all the expertise of a seasoned writer. Great rhyming, looking through the eyes of a woman with the experience of having had what talkes to live in a man's world. There is nothing more adept than a surging woman. Beautifully writer. Well done, enjoyable, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding. I tried to encompass a variety of themes and contrasts within the piece and maintain an undercurrent of fluidity. I hope it worked.
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Well done
Comment from JT traveller
Exceptional poem. So powerful and informs the reader of so much! All six stars are well deserved.
I personally, love a rhyming poem. Some don't.
Great meter and flow and a true message delivered. One of determination and hope.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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Exceptional poem. So powerful and informs the reader of so much! All six stars are well deserved.
I personally, love a rhyming poem. Some don't.
Great meter and flow and a true message delivered. One of determination and hope.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I felt as though you understood the multiple themes contained within the piece. I took a moment to read a few of yours and found that I'm now sure it's meaning wasn't lost on you. I'd like to ask you to read another poem of mine, "An Unconventional Man." It very closely resembles a poem of yours to the point I think we are quite similar in mind. Excellent work throughout all I read.
Comment from Nicki Nance
This poem has it all - depth, imagery, retribution. I am ever amazed at the human capacity to process the grief of betrayal in different dimensions. You captured it, though, embedding two inner life stories in a single work.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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This poem has it all - depth, imagery, retribution. I am ever amazed at the human capacity to process the grief of betrayal in different dimensions. You captured it, though, embedding two inner life stories in a single work.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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I have to believe that you grasped the multiple meanings contained within this piece and I appreciate that. It was a slide between personas all together real, figurative, and imagined. Like all writers we best process our emotions in the exercise of committing them in words, which may at times be exaggerated and at others understated. But, when another can see between the lines, we know we've succeeded. Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a deeply emotional write and I felt your pain as this break up tears you apart but you still feel like you are doing the right thing by walking away and this is the first step to a brighter future, we never look back and just get on with life, but this memory will always leave a nagging pain in part of your heart, we don't like to fail in relationships, but they don't always work out, I could identify with your words here, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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This is a deeply emotional write and I felt your pain as this break up tears you apart but you still feel like you are doing the right thing by walking away and this is the first step to a brighter future, we never look back and just get on with life, but this memory will always leave a nagging pain in part of your heart, we don't like to fail in relationships, but they don't always work out, I could identify with your words here, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2023
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This one was a processing of emotions to the dramatic and understated. I went on a visual and emotional journey with this one that entangled past feelings and events with those that were imagined. I'm glad you could understand. We never really get past pain, we merely go through it.
