When I Die
How to remember me when I die.26 total reviews
Comment from Kaiku
this is a bit scary, sorry to say. may your remaining days be filled with the honesty of your name...Charity. seems there is so much to give before death calls upon you. offer guidance and God´s light will shine you a path to travel.
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this is a bit scary, sorry to say. may your remaining days be filled with the honesty of your name...Charity. seems there is so much to give before death calls upon you. offer guidance and God´s light will shine you a path to travel.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2023
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent poem about death. I can relate. I want to be cremated too. I don't know if this is fictional or not, I hope is not about you. It's sad. But I can relate.
The rhymes and meter are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
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Excellent poem about death. I can relate. I want to be cremated too. I don't know if this is fictional or not, I hope is not about you. It's sad. But I can relate.
The rhymes and meter are not forced and they flow well.
the structure makes sense, it draws on emotions and it presents strong images.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason" -- Novalis
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from Mintybee
This poem had an irregular meter that made it more conversational, almost stream of conscious. The rhyme scheme stayed steady. There seems to be a typo in the last line. I think it should be "deliverance out OF the trenches. I succumb." There was an anger and a desperation that moved the poem along quickly. I'm sorry you're carrying such a heavy emotional burden, if this is autobiographical. I have found poetry to be very therapeutic. Life is hard, and poetry is meant for capturing strong emotions. I hope that sharing here is helping you! Hang in there.
Mintybee
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This poem had an irregular meter that made it more conversational, almost stream of conscious. The rhyme scheme stayed steady. There seems to be a typo in the last line. I think it should be "deliverance out OF the trenches. I succumb." There was an anger and a desperation that moved the poem along quickly. I'm sorry you're carrying such a heavy emotional burden, if this is autobiographical. I have found poetry to be very therapeutic. Life is hard, and poetry is meant for capturing strong emotions. I hope that sharing here is helping you! Hang in there.
Mintybee
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from jacquelyn popp
I loved reading your poem. It was a very powerful and moving poem about approaching death with dignity. Your poem is a true testimony to self. Well written, and nicely done. Beautiful poem about death. Thank you for expressing your inner self about when you die and how you want to be remembered.
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I loved reading your poem. It was a very powerful and moving poem about approaching death with dignity. Your poem is a true testimony to self. Well written, and nicely done. Beautiful poem about death. Thank you for expressing your inner self about when you die and how you want to be remembered.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from jake cosmos aller
very powerful and moving poem about approaching death with dignity and glance challenging people to remember your life as you left it and your search for God's guidance.
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very powerful and moving poem about approaching death with dignity and glance challenging people to remember your life as you left it and your search for God's guidance.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from nomi338
Death does not have to mean the end. It can also be the beginning of a brand new chapter. Jesus, Malcolm, Martin and so many others gave birth to children/disciples who became soldiers, more determined than ever to fight the good fight and never agree to disappear into that dark goodnight.
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Death does not have to mean the end. It can also be the beginning of a brand new chapter. Jesus, Malcolm, Martin and so many others gave birth to children/disciples who became soldiers, more determined than ever to fight the good fight and never agree to disappear into that dark goodnight.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from karenina
Nobody strips it bare and lets it fly like you, Charity. I think most of us have dwelled upon what it will be like when we die. Who will care? Who will not? What will happen with our words, which we long to leave as our legacy? You fight the good fight here on this planet--and you do not flinch from telling it as you feel it. You will rise like a Pheonix, I think! Such a bold spirit as yours will not soon be forgotten!
(One quick edit: "When I die, I will nk longer be in a horrific position." (not "nk" but "no")
I'd love to hear you slamming this one!
Karenina
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Nobody strips it bare and lets it fly like you, Charity. I think most of us have dwelled upon what it will be like when we die. Who will care? Who will not? What will happen with our words, which we long to leave as our legacy? You fight the good fight here on this planet--and you do not flinch from telling it as you feel it. You will rise like a Pheonix, I think! Such a bold spirit as yours will not soon be forgotten!
(One quick edit: "When I die, I will nk longer be in a horrific position." (not "nk" but "no")
I'd love to hear you slamming this one!
Karenina
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from Carlos' girl
I can always count on you to go over the top. This time you really did it. Grandiosity at its finest.
A true testimony to self. But the tone is so self congratulatory you make dying sound good.
Judith
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I can always count on you to go over the top. This time you really did it. Grandiosity at its finest.
A true testimony to self. But the tone is so self congratulatory you make dying sound good.
Judith
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from papa55mike
Well, I sort of have that Robert Johnson approach. Just throw my body in a ditch, and the Lord will find me. What wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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Well, I sort of have that Robert Johnson approach. Just throw my body in a ditch, and the Lord will find me. What wonderfully written poem. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is powerful and speaks from the heart. My favorite line was by far the one where you write uncontrolled thoughts ricocheting off the walls! The near rhymes were provocative and amazing to read. I am interested in how you come up with these lines. Do you reach into your soul and pull them out? Or do you just reach through your heart and yank them out?
Thanks for expressing your inner self about when you die and how you want to be remembered.
Jesse
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This is powerful and speaks from the heart. My favorite line was by far the one where you write uncontrolled thoughts ricocheting off the walls! The near rhymes were provocative and amazing to read. I am interested in how you come up with these lines. Do you reach into your soul and pull them out? Or do you just reach through your heart and yank them out?
Thanks for expressing your inner self about when you die and how you want to be remembered.
Jesse
Comment Written 27-Feb-2023
