The Bench
A neighbour gets up a petition16 total reviews
Comment from royowen
Isn't it funny the way some minds work. It seem to me, that putting a seat like a bench sitting area would be a great and thoughtful way of encouraging human interaction, but drug dealers? Come on. Brand written my friend, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2023
Isn't it funny the way some minds work. It seem to me, that putting a seat like a bench sitting area would be a great and thoughtful way of encouraging human interaction, but drug dealers? Come on. Brand written my friend, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2023
-
Thank you very much.
-
Welcome
Comment from jessizero
You forgot to end your rant with "Now I feel better."
Other than that, this was a great rant. I can see where this would make you upset. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2023
You forgot to end your rant with "Now I feel better."
Other than that, this was a great rant. I can see where this would make you upset. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2023
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
It is time to stand up to Michelle and tell her to stop being a busybody. She gets what she wants because nobody stands up to her. This petition would offer a resting spot with a bench to sit on and enjoy the outdoors. That would be a great idea and one that wouldn't hurt anyone! Tell Michele to back off!
Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
It is time to stand up to Michelle and tell her to stop being a busybody. She gets what she wants because nobody stands up to her. This petition would offer a resting spot with a bench to sit on and enjoy the outdoors. That would be a great idea and one that wouldn't hurt anyone! Tell Michele to back off!
Jesse
Comment Written 04-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
-
Thank you, Jesse. I don't live there any more, but that is probably what I should have done.
Comment from Julie Lau
What a bummer! Whenever a number of disparate people are involved there always seems to be SOMEONE only too pleased to quash any attempts at change. Patricia, you write very well, but are you sure that is the correct use of "wheeze"? Anyway, good on you for testing the water, and how about you next give us a short story in which Patricia gets her just desserts?
best wishes, Julie
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
What a bummer! Whenever a number of disparate people are involved there always seems to be SOMEONE only too pleased to quash any attempts at change. Patricia, you write very well, but are you sure that is the correct use of "wheeze"? Anyway, good on you for testing the water, and how about you next give us a short story in which Patricia gets her just desserts?
best wishes, Julie
Comment Written 04-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
-
You are probably right about "wheeze." I could have chosen a better word. Thank you for your supportive review.
-
Onya, Trish!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Hi Patricia,
I think this is a good idea for a rant, but I would suggest that you could flesh it out a little. For instance, tell us about another one or two complaints that Michelle has had in the past. Maybe also describe the area where the bench would be placed - what does the courtyard look like, we know only that it is surrounded by the flats. Why would you want to sit there? Would it put you in touch with a few more of your neighbors whom you can then get to know. Instead of you telling us what Michelle thinks about the drug dealers, perhaps you could quote her.
Since this is for a contest, I would try rewriting it in such a way that your reader is also cheering for that bench.
Good luck, and keep writing!
Pam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
Hi Patricia,
I think this is a good idea for a rant, but I would suggest that you could flesh it out a little. For instance, tell us about another one or two complaints that Michelle has had in the past. Maybe also describe the area where the bench would be placed - what does the courtyard look like, we know only that it is surrounded by the flats. Why would you want to sit there? Would it put you in touch with a few more of your neighbors whom you can then get to know. Instead of you telling us what Michelle thinks about the drug dealers, perhaps you could quote her.
Since this is for a contest, I would try rewriting it in such a way that your reader is also cheering for that bench.
Good luck, and keep writing!
Pam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
-
It was some time ago and the details are a bit dim in my memory. But I appreciate all your useful suggestions. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, that's a shame, I know in my town the old aged pensioners love the bench in the park and do drug dealers sit down? I thought they were active on street corners, I don't think I have ever seen them sit down as they always have to be ready to leg it if the Police come! It is a pity I did not live in your block of flats as I would have petitioned to keep the bench Patricia, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
Oh my goodness, that's a shame, I know in my town the old aged pensioners love the bench in the park and do drug dealers sit down? I thought they were active on street corners, I don't think I have ever seen them sit down as they always have to be ready to leg it if the Police come! It is a pity I did not live in your block of flats as I would have petitioned to keep the bench Patricia, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2023
-
Thank you for your solidarity. Much appreciated.